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I was in a relationship with my ex who had untreated BPD. This went on for 8 years. 5 months ago I ended things with her and went NC. She immediately moved on while I am stuck here feeling hopeless, broken, and lost. My life feels like it has no meaning now that we aren't together. We were supposed to get married and have kids. I thought our love was forever, like we both proclaimed. I don't know how to heal from this. I don't want her back, but I also feel like I can't live without her. She hasn't tried to charm and I doubt she will, she's moved on and I am sure I am a distant memory. All my accomplishments and successes in other parts of my life feel meaningless. How do I even begin to heal?   

Hello Garlic70,

   Thank you for visiting us here at BPD Family.  We are here to listen to your story, and to support you emotionally.  Talk as much or as little as you want.

   Since you only have one question "All my accomplishments and successes in other parts of my life feel meaningless. How do I even begin to heal?" - the answer is quite simple, yet incredibly complex.  It is simple, find yourself a therapist that has worked with the partners of a high-conflict relationship / Borderline / NPD / or other Cluster-B PD.

   I will offer up one really powerful piece of advice - and that is to do self-care whatever that looks like for you.

   I hope you will respond with more questions on how we can support you.

   Until then... take care with self-care.

SD

Hello Garlic70,

I was in a r/s of 5 months with an untreated pwBPD and I can immediately relate to "I don't want her back, but I also feel like I can't live without her". Can only imagine how it must be after so many years. Especially with her moving on so quickly and probably no real closure between the two of you. I believe as SaltyDawg mentions therapy would do good. I have had one session and already after I felt much better. I am getting worse however, so I guess it is important to go regularly.

Take care.