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Title: Ex/co-parent is about to become homeless - guilt over not helping Post by: AmeliaBedelia on January 15, 2024, 04:04:59 AM Help! How do i get out of the Caretaker role with my Quiet BPD ex-husband?
It's taken me YEARS to figure out what was going on with him, decide to separate, get him set up in the outside world without my constant support and for me to get back on my feet, but unfortunately my name is still on his lease 1.5 years later. Of course he's terrible with money and has issues with chronic unemployment despite being very intelligent. We also share two children, whom he sees in small doses. They have a good relationship overall and we live in the same town, which provides them both with enormous emotional comfort (not necessarily me). I have bailed him out several times now for not paying rent and I just can't do it again. I receive financial support from my family and I work part-time, but it's for me and the kids FFS, not for him! He has never paid a penny towards the kids. My only choice is to let the management company put ME into collections, give me bad credit for 5 years and then kick him out. Right? It's so messed up. So by not bailing him out again, i'm choosing to get bad credit and put my kids' father on the street. It's a zero-win situation. I always panic because of the kids, imagining how upset they will be if he gets kicked out of his apartment, and i'm sure he knows this. Where will he go with no money and bad credit? He has no support system locally. I do genuinely feel bad for him, i know how overwhelmed he gets, but he lies to hide how bad things are and can't talk about money. The cycle will never end, i know this. He was employed in-between but somehow went into debt anyway. He refuses to apply for social assistance. I need some sort of success story or at least a push of strength to just let this happen, bad credit and all. What's the consensus for helping him further? I've literally done everything i can, for years, leading up to this. It's so unfair that i still have to deal with the stress of his instability. It just feels like i'm doing this to my children, that's the hardest part... Title: Re: Ex/co-parent is about to become homeless - guilt over not helping Post by: ForeverDad on January 15, 2024, 08:51:35 AM You must have had a long lease? When does it end? Whatever else, get off the lease at the earliest opportunity. Resist any urge to feel sorry for him and be included in a renewal. As long as you don't sign, I would imagine he'd be forced to sign a new lease as himself or move.
Also, have you consulted lawyers for legal advice and any alternative solutions? Consultations ought to be relatively inexpensive. |