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Title: 6 month cycles of blame, shame and the projecting train Post by: Fordar on February 09, 2024, 07:59:53 PM Am I the only one who has a so with bpd that has a cycle where the blaming of actions I believe I'm not doing? Also they are hateful to people in public and their coworkers and cut off their friends. I am constantly told they are a screw up and it is very tiring trying to always pump them up to see self value which they never see. The you " always do this to me, always say that to me, you bite my head off all the time, it's your way or the highway" when all I do is try to be chill and stay in my happy place. I am tired of paying for someone else's sins in this relationship and being accused of doing things I don't do and thinking things I don't think. Much more to the story but I am just worn out. Married 27 years and dealt with the affairs and everything else but am just worn out.
Title: Re: 6 month cycles of blame, shame and the projecting train Post by: SaltyDawg on February 11, 2024, 05:00:06 AM Am I the only one who has a so with bpd that has a cycle where the blaming of actions I believe I'm not doing? Also they are hateful to people in public and their coworkers and cut off their friends. I am constantly told they are a screw up and it is very tiring trying to always pump them up to see self value which they never see. The you " always do this to me, always say that to me, you bite my head off all the time, it's your way or the highway" when all I do is try to be chill and stay in my happy place. I am tired of paying for someone else's sins in this relationship and being accused of doing things I don't do and thinking things I don't think. Much more to the story but I am just worn out. Married 27 years and dealt with the affairs and everything else but am just worn out. Fodar, No, you are not the only one with a person with BPD that will blameshift their behaviors on to their partners. They will also be hateful to mutual friends, and cut off people who they perceive as not doing what they are supposed to. When you are up to it, please share your story, and vent here, it is a safe and anonymous place to do so. Also, read other people's stories, I am sure that they will resonate with you. I will give one piece of unsolicited advice, and that is to do self-care, whatever that might look like for you, in order to keep up the energy to deal with the rollercoaster of your SO's emotional behaviors. Take care, and please come back. SD |