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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: rattled64 on February 17, 2024, 08:13:05 AM



Title: Trying again, confonting an indiagnosed BPD SO, do or don't
Post by: rattled64 on February 17, 2024, 08:13:05 AM
My last post was maybe too long. I have been aware of her undiagnosed BPD for about 3 years. We were seeing a therapist together and I expressed my concern to the therapist privately. We since discontinued couples therapy and now I am seeing that therapist myself.

My experience is that my pwBPD seems completely unaware of how twisted and irrational she gets. I stumbled on JADE and will try it to avoid escalating conflicts, but it feels like if she is spending $100s per month on therapy and has a psychiatrist making decisions on her meds, that she should know and they should know if they are really going to help her.

So, what do recommend and please share your experiences attempting this. Thanks!


Title: Re: Trying again, confonting an indiagnosed BPD SO, do or don't
Post by: tina7868 on February 17, 2024, 11:53:47 AM
Hi rattled64! Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds frustrating to work on aspects on your end, while she remains unaware of her own behaviour.

Other members may have more experience with this type of situation, but just to clarify, how long have you been in a relationship for? Also, if I understand correctly, she is now in therapy by herself, but her psychiastrist hasn`t spoken to her about a clear diagnosis?

Again, thank you for sharing, and we`ll navigate this together!


Title: Re: Trying again, confonting an indiagnosed BPD SO, do or don't
Post by: rattled64 on February 17, 2024, 01:10:06 PM
We just had our 25th anniversary last year. This has been a constant in our marriage, but the frequency and severity seems to be increasing. I was a ware she had been in two high conflict relationships before we met, but did not find out she was had taken meds in her 20s until a few years into the marriage.