BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone,

I'm posting again here to try to figure out how I am feeling about this relationship, breakup and custody arrangement. Over the past couple of weeks I have met up with my ex. I took her out to eat with the kids and we went to the park and watched a movie at her house later. Towards the end of the evening she started to argue with my daughter and it started to get out of hand so we left.
 
The whole time she was making suggestive comments about how "I have abused her" and she's working out and kept talking about how good she looks. I used to play into that and compliment her profusely.

The arrogance of her and the things she does are just over the top. She is attractive but the narsasitic way she carries herself is hard to stomach at times. I helped her get a car with the money from my tax return this week. She found something hit she wanted me to call into work to get the radio from her old car. I told her I would story to find a good day where I can help but I didn't just want to take off work on short notice for that. She told me she would just call some other man to help... That was a few days go but she wants to e up a time to see the kids again and I haven't responded yet.

There is alot of background to this so I will try to link my first two posts here. But the short of it was she was physically and mentally abusive to our kids and I left 3 years ago but we are trying to work through what to do next. She has been showing back up in our lives off and on but there have been times up to a year I didn't hear from her.

Thank you for anyone reading!

Here is the link to my first post

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=357510.msg13207436#msg13207436

Here's a link to my second post

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=357620.0

Hey NHBH,

Things sound conflicted, for sure.

Those times up to a year where you didn't hear from her -- so she didn't see the kids during that time?

And tell me a bit more about your reasoning behind paying for her car.

Glad we can be here for you. This can be messy stuff.

Well she didn't reach out for about a year, we tried to reconsile and we started visiting overweekends. I was always there but things eventually escalated and she chocked me over New Years in front ofy son. Ever since then I've been in a bad back and fourth internally about what to do.

She hasn't had a job since November so I figured if I help with getting a car that would benefit everyone since that would give her more work options.

But my first post was before the cholimg. She has attacked me before but this time she also threatened to call the police and blame it on my for a bruise on her leg. (Definitely not caused by me)
I had scratches and bruises on my neck which I took pictures of. But way proceeding that was the child abuse. She beat the crap out of my son while I was at work and called me telling how horrible I am and how he's bleading and she didn't care.

In the Second post I linked in this topic I alsoentioned that I have been paying for her to see a therapist. She tolde.she had several breakthroughs and they all involved how I have destroyed her self age and I'm abusive. I would be happy to work with her on that but any mention of anything being remotely at fault turns her completely off and she lashes out. Saying things like she will eventually find a real man to help after I didn't take off work to help her with her car radio...

The therapist doesn't know you and if the T hasn't met you then T can only hear what your ex claims.

Essentially you know you've been cast as a bad guy but you have no idea how badly.  And unless your ex grants permission to share information, T won't tell you what's been claimed.  Thank you HIPAA privacy laws.