BPDFamily.com

let me start out by saying  I just want him back, but I’m stuck.

I met this guy on Tinder in the winter of 2023, and we really hit it off. I didn’t think we’d be anything more than”fwb” considering my previous track record with men on Tinder, however he took me to New Orleans on our second date, showed me a wonderful time and took care of me when I had a little too much to drink.

That was maybe a week after we had met each other 

after knowing him for a week, he asked me out and told me he really loved and cared for me at the time and I gladly accepted however, as soon as I packed my bags to head back to my home town in LA, I received a text stating he didn’t see things going anywhere and he rather just break things off. I was so hurt and confused ! The anger I felt was like no other, and I angrily drove the 5 hours back home to cry in my bed.

this vicious cycle of stability and then unsuitability from him continued, he would break up with me and blame it on his BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), and tell me he really loved me and just had an episode.

after a few months of back and forth, he finally had a streak of improvement, where I didn’t worry about him breaking up with me (this was summer of 2023). He decided that he wanted to get married and purposed to me on vacation. I was thrilled! I picked out my own ring(THAT I CO-SIGNED FOR) and thought I would live happily ever after.



but soon, as in this current month, we started to plan a date, get serious about our next  steps in life, we went to one counseling session together to work on some small issues and I thought my life was just beginning. However a couple days ago, he broke up with me via text so I drove to meet him on base and confront him, I LOVE HIM how could he do this? Then today, I received a text that he had been “talking “ with another girl’s friend. I’m heartbroken and I don’t know if he will “Yo-Yo” back into my life, or if he is done. He blocked me on selective apps. Since I wrote this post ( several days ago), he has demanded my engagement ring back(it’s in my name he just used his card to pay) and has since unblocked me and said horrid things about my character. I love him and want him back because he was my best friend. (Please don’t judge I'm confused and lost)

hi Laniebear1, and *welcome*

wow, what a whirlwind. im sorry youre going through this.

loving someone with BPD can be especially challenging. its important to know that the instability youve been experiencing can be a hallmark; something that may not change. whatever happens, its vital to go into it with eyes wide open. it will also help to learn the tools here, not just in dealing with him now, but in the rest of your life.

so, you mentioned that most recently, he unblocked you, and has been slagging you. can you tell us a bit more about whats going on? what is he saying? how are you responding?