|
Title: ONE year Post by: BPDstinks on May 22, 2024, 06:43:14 AM Friday will be an entire year since i physically SAW my BPD daughter. I am so sad, nothing is shaking this sadness (than i feel IRRITATED b/c I have worked very hard on my own mental health)
Title: Re: ONE year Post by: Sancho on May 22, 2024, 10:54:39 PM Dear BPDstinks
You are so entitled to feel very sad - but please don't be irritated that you do so. This Friday will be a whole year since you have seen a beloved child. It is unimaginable that one could let this day pass without feelings of sorrow and grief. There is enormous loss. I know from your posts your love for your child is real and deep - so real you are able to look at things in a way that focuses on your child and her best interests without reference to your legitimate needs as a loving parent. Because of this love, you will grieve the loss and experience the pain. Tell yourself you are entitled to feel this way, this is normal when you are grieving. I hope that for part of this day you can reflect on all that you have given your child - what you have done for the love of your child. I hope that you can say 'I did all that I possibly could' and 'whatever the situation, my child has been and is loved. Title: Re: ONE year Post by: BPDstinks on May 23, 2024, 06:41:53 AM Thank you, Sancho!
I DO acknowledge the sadness (I have had issues with clinical depression and canNOT go down that HOLE! my therapist calls it the CAVE!) I think the "sadness" is also because EVERYthing has changed, I miss SO much (it is recital time and that has me sad, too!) Than, I stop & think how much JOY I have created (I rejoined book club, the gym, etc.) so, I know I am lucky and others in this forum have FAR worse scenarios I shall just patiently wait (and wait) until she (she must someday?) comes "around" Tomorrow, i plan to take some time off of work, go to the beach and cry, a little Thank you, again, for reaching out |