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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: itstsumi on May 22, 2024, 03:16:49 PM



Title: My girlfriend is always mad at me and makes everything my fault, i need help
Post by: itstsumi on May 22, 2024, 03:16:49 PM
Hello im writing this in my 5th period actually lol, Im 16 years old, i got with my girlfriend around 10 months ago, we were both 15 and now were 16. for some backstory, she was a girl ive had eyes on for MONTHSS and we talked for around 4 months before making things official, this isnt a girl i can just let go.

In the beginning, there wasnt that much signs of her having BPD, as the relationship went on, ive obviously made mistakes like any other and i have ADD myself, i have trouble concentrating and remembering things. my girlfriend is extremely jealous and i currently have 0 female friends, i follow 0 girls on instagram/any social media except for her, she still follows guys on instagram when she had communicated she wanted me to unfollow girls, and i did so without any issue.
Since around late november she had been starting to show the signs of BPD. She gets mad at me very constantly for things that i cant truly control, she tells me the tiniest thing like for example, she told me she ate pasta earlier in the day, and when we talk the next day i ask what she had ate the day before, then she starts yelling and getting angry with me explaining that i dont listen to her and she just wants someone to remember ALL of the little things that she tells me, but i just have an issue with recalling things, i swear i do genuinely listen to the girl, thats my life, i dont talk to any of my friends i am not close with my family and she doesnt understand im crazy about her. CRAZY. if it were anyone else, oh trust me. they would have been left her.
She is insanely jealous and if i were to hang out with my friends for just a day, shed ignore me and tell me to have fun with "whoever im with" when i quite literally specify to her who im with, where we go, i send her pictures every 20 minutes and she still cant trust me, i dont know what to do, im sorry im just venting here on this website it just has gotten alot for me, i try my best i alwayssss buy her things i spend hundreds on her every month, i pour my heart into her and i genuinely try my best. I just need a source to tell these things to. i cant talk to anybody about this. NOBODY, all i have is my girlfriend.
I really dont know what to do for her. i always send her LONGGG ass paragraphs telling her i love her so much, i give her very constant reassurance and i just dont know what to do anymore, we facetime EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. and we sleep ON call together and if i were to ever not want to, shed find a big problem with it and tell me she needs to stop giving me her energy, my friends have told me their girlfriends never be like this, all of them are fine with my friends going out, they dont consistently get angry at them for not remembering what they ate a week ago, i just dont know what to do and i want to make things work with this woman more than anything. im still a 16 year old in highschool and want to spend eternity with this woman. i dont even know if anyone is going to read any of this. Theres a lot more i can say i just cant say it all.  :help: :help:


Title: Re: My girlfriend is always mad at me and makes everything my fault, i need help
Post by: Turkish on May 23, 2024, 09:32:29 PM
itsumi,

A non-reciprocal relationship is draining and tough, and with someone showing traits of BPD, tougher.

It's great that you reached out for support, but membership and participation on this board are for members 18 and up per  guidelines (https://bpdfamily.com/content/membership)This is to keep minors safe.

There are resources of the type you're seeking. Please check out www.teenhelp.org (http://www.teenhelp.org/) and Resources for BPD Sufferers (https://goo.gl/Fg5HBy).

I would also like to encourage you to talk to your school counselor or school social worker about your struggles right now.  Having a person to confide in can be very helpful.

Lastly, you can glean info from the Lessons at the top of this board  *)

I wish you well with your gf.  Validation is helpful and it's a skill those of us here much older are still learning and practicing. I wouldn't also ever suggest to her that she has BPD and be mindful to encourage her to get help as it might trigger BPD shame.

Best,

Turkish