BPDFamily.com

Never in my life would I think I would be doing this but my wife of what would be 20 years the 25th of this month left for the 8 I think time and according to her it’s because she’s not happy all I do is yell at her and belittle her .

Don’t get me wrong for the first 10 years of our marriage that was true but in 2012 I went and got treatment and since 2012 things were what I thought were great until the last 3 years when she started to split as they call it and every time she has these moments she try’s to kill herself , ends up in the mental hospital then leaves me . Saying I’m her trigger and the same it’s because you’re abusing me even though I haven’t . Her leaving again all started when she started seeing a certain counselor who has met me once and seems to blame it on me and my abusing her.

I have been seeing counseled myself and with her when she came back last time and she said all was good and she was happy and so glad to be back with me . Fast forward 2 months and she started having work issues so I supported her to quit her job but because I’m on ssdi my insurance didn’t cover our counseling so we quit and I thought things where good because I would ask how am I doing and she would say good or your having a rough one and talked it out but now with the last splitting and hospital trip she is now saying I am a bad guy, it’s all my fault , I’m toxic and her trigger that is causing her to keep doing this. Jump forward a couple weeks of reading up on bpd it seems this is quite common and part of the cycle if you will.

I have been supportive and trying not be accommodating to her needs again by leaving the house when she comes over to see our daughter as she’s living in a shelter again and trying to get an apartment again and yesterday or the day before she was asking me my opinion on this place she was looking at because she had red flags and I tried being supportive and put my own feelings to the side and looked into it and seems like a good place but then she asked if I could cover her car insurance as it’s still on my policy or she can’t afford to move . I initially said yes but after more reading and my own counselor appointment I decided that was enabling her and not setting boundaries with her so in a polite way I told her I will cover it tell the 10th like she originally said she would get her own but that was it and haven’t heard back from her so I’m guessing I’m Mr bad again .

This time as much as I want to fight to get her home I’m letting her go and not bailing her out again . We filed for divorce already prose as neither can afford it which I
Hate the idea but I told her that next time she said that I caused her to feel that way I would and an honor to my word I’m just letting her have it but regret it as I feel this will be another cycle and we will talk it out again . Of course she says that won’t happen but I have heard it so many times .

I do love her but I am just out of ideas on how to keep fighting for it because I am tired of having to start over , being the one at blame for everything.

Her and I are introverts so we have really no one else in our lives and it’s even worse for her because she booted her family out because of there mistakes as well .

I’m lost as what to do because I’m tired of always bailing out her spending sprees and poor decisions during the times apart .

HELP PLEASE.