BPDFamily.com

need to hear from other parents after reading Stop Walking on Eggshells.  I need to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Please don't give advice, I want to hear validation that I am climbing Mt Everest and will summit someday.

Hi max -
I didn't love the Eggshells book, but I did learn a lot about setting boundaries. We are still in the thick of it with our daughter, but the boundary-setting has made ME feel less helpless and more powerful. Her words and actions don't hurt me or enrage me as they once did. I like to think that me being in a better place will eventually help her.

Hi Maxed Out  :hi:

I finally reached my own summit when I was able to Let Go.

I came across this statement of on this site many years ago when my udd was a teen and perhaps at her worse in displaying bpd behaviours. She is now 31years old and we are currently estranged but I still use this quote as an affirmation when I think of my udd or interact with her.

TO LET GO  does not mean to stop caring, It means I cannot do it for someone else.

TO LET GO is not to cut myself off; it is the realisation that I cannot control another.

TO LET GO is not to enable, but allowing (her/him) to learn from natural consequences.

TO LET GO is to admit to powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

TO LET GO is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To LET GO is not to care for, but care about.

TO LET GO is not to fix but be supportive.

TO LET GO is not to judge but allow another to be a human being.

TO LET GO is not to be in the middle of arranging all outcomes but allowing others to find their own destinies.

seriously, the BEST statements I have ever read on the topic!  thanks for sharing!