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Title: So glad to find this community; seeking affirmation Post by: 43yearsofthis on July 15, 2024, 08:33:00 AM My husband and I are "high conflict" (thanks to someone here who recommended Alan Fruzzetti's book of that title) and have been for 43 years. Over the years, I have continued to believe that by and large we are better together.
As I enter retirement I worry that now that we have fewer things to distract us, we are settling further into our patterns. Having recently listened to Mason and Kreger's "Stop Walking on Eggshells" I am THRILLED to find this tribe. So many pieces falling into place. I am in therapy and getting better at my own boundaries and self-awareness. I would love to hear from anyone who has found any balance and peace of mind with a BPD partner. Title: Re: So glad to find this community; seeking affirmation Post by: kells76 on July 15, 2024, 11:15:34 AM Hello 43yearsofthis and welcome :hi:
It does feel incredible to find this "tribe". BPD relationship challenges can be unintuitive and also largely invisible to those with more emotional distance. Finding others who can say "I get it... I understand" is so meaningful. I'm interested to hear that you're aware you two have been high conflict for your entire marriage. How does that conflict usually show up (yelling, circular arguments, physicality, blame... other)? Are there typical "themes" to the conflicts (suspicion of infidelity, blame for being controlling, "you never support me"...)? Do you have any children together? Do you think they're aware of the issues? Lots we could talk about but I'll pause there for now to hear more from you. Really glad you found us; kells76 |