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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Adoption on July 15, 2024, 01:33:44 PM



Title: Going crazy dealing with this BPD
Post by: Adoption on July 15, 2024, 01:33:44 PM
I literally thought I was going crazy.  I went for some counseling to find out what was wrong with me.  I was then told about the book Walking on Eggshells.  I did not know of this disorder.  Dealing with this illness has given me chest pain.  I have six children and four of them have this.  Does anyone have health problems because of stress?  Do you think you are crazy with the way loved ones act.


Title: Re: Going crazy dealing with this BPD
Post by: Sancho on July 16, 2024, 07:07:09 PM
Hi Adoption and welcome
Goodness, 4 children with BPD is just mind blowing! It is no wonder you are stressed to the point of it affecting you physically and mentally.

I am so, so glad that you have read the book, identified that your children have this condition - and that you have come here. This is the start of a new journey because you can learn a lot about how to develop the skills that you need to both interact with your children differently and also to reduce the stress you are constantly under.

Most importantly, coming here will help you feel you are not alone as you deal with one of the most complex and difficult conditions there is (in my opinion). I honestly don't know how I could have made sense of what was happening in my life without reading others' posts and what BPD looked like in day to day life. My friends couldn't understand - to them it's just bad behaviour etc.

As well as coming here, I found the 3C mantra really helpful in reducing stress: I didn't Cause this, I can't Control it; I can't Cure it.

BPD is a very complex condition and often the person most caring is the 'target of blame'. We are made to feel we are the cause - and we must 'fix' it.

So the guilt can weigh us down.

I hope you can take some 'time out' to read lots of what is here, and relax a little in the middle of what I am sure is chaos, to understand you are not alone and that you can develop some skills that will help you remain healthy and strong both physically and mentally as you are on the BPD journey.