BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,
First of all I am so happy to meet this platform. I am two months married and I discovered just last week my wife is BPD.
Before we married, we were engaged almost 1 year. After we married my wife is getting angry more. at that days I didnt understand what is the problem with her. two weeks ago I suspect that she has bipolar disorder and I offer to her go to
physiotherapist. And she says ' I m not crazy, I m not ill, dont offer this again'. Before we married she talked about almost five years ago go to physiotherapist and the doctor said her to she is bipolar disorder but after therapy and medicine she said that ' I m good now'. when we were engaged she was stuck for words and than her mood can easly fall down.  at that days I cant understand why she is acting like this. For example if she said that 'lets buy this' and if I said that 'why we need this' she was arguing me and she was getting depressed.

Now we are married and I almost everything help her. dishes, washing cloths, cleaning the house etc. For example after ı wash to dishes or cleaning the house she look at the glass and says ' why this is here, I said you millions time dont you put like this'. At the beginning of we meet all the time I tried to did what she everything says. She said buy this I said ok. She said do this I said ok. She said go there I said ok. if I were said no I know we arguing and write messages for hours. After this argument almost every time subject came to seperation.

Now we are (unfortunately) married and there is no issue left that we haven't discussed. And may be 40 times she says ' lets divorce me'  after every argument. I'm tired of hearing this. And if she argue I cannot be silenced. If I were not talking she said 'why you are not talking'.  I said her 'if I talking you accuse me of being angry'. sHe always accused of not keeping my promises. she hate my mother. And always says 'your mother like this, your mother do this' etc.

After I discovered that she is bpd I said her to go to doctor for treatment. And she said again ' I am not crazy, if you say that again I  will tare you apart!!!!, who are you!!!!, how you can said to that to me you are ill!!!!.' she can not sleep until 4 am. and if i sleep before her, she blaim me to much sleeping and accuses me of being indifferent to her.  I cannot watch the tv, I cannot sleep, ı cannot use phone (game etc). If I do those she says me 'you are not love me, you are indiffirent to me'. And at the and of the discussion she says ' lets divorce me, talk your lawyer'.

My biggest problem is wy wife wants to have child. she buy tests and every day she trackin fertility. If the tests negative she says 'what we are do now, why we are not have child, we will have child?.! and I say I dont know.

Before two weeks ago we disgussed again. The matter was that I m going with my sister her exam with my car and waiting to almost 3 hours. She wrote me message while I was waiting my sister. And she said - 'why you do that, your sister can go with taxi!' and much more etc.  actually ı was asked her before go to exam and she said ok. after I was came to home she said 'lets divorce and I m very serios'. Actually I was not so sad for divorcing (because I was very tired) until I learned that she suicide herself. She said me 'after we are divorcing I m going to nice place than this'. And I asked her where is there? she says ' the place that never come back from there'. And she forced me to call my lawyer. I called my lawyer and I cried much. Aftere I cry she said ' ok I love you and we will not divorce.' Actually I love her because she is very nice person. But she always depressed and blaim me. If she not blaim me she blaim my family.

Two days ago at the midnight we discussed again and she blaim my mother again. I said her 'yes you are right my mother is very bad person and you cannot hurt me with this anymore.' After this moment she didn't said anything about my mother again.

One day my mother, father, sisters came to our home. Because I approach with love to my sisters she called me to another room and she said 'dont do this I m jealous.' And after they go we discussed again.

After one mounth we were married and our discussins being increasing I said to her 'What are you taking revenge on me?'.  Because I couldn't understand her behavior.

My wife cannot sleep until 4 am. and she want to clean house (may be she has obsessive compulsive disorder). And she has some illness: blood pressure disease, heart disease, asthma patient, hernia.  And she spend money more. Always buy something from shopping site.

Now I m try to read Stop Walking on Eggshells and I am reading this site to find a solution. I am very unhappy. If ı divorce I know she may can suicide or she has worst psychology than this.

She always complain about I am sleeping while she has tansion. And she says 'you sleep while I'm sick at night.' 'When I pick you up you don't get up'. And I said to her how is it possible to wake up while I so tired. (Because all day long we are clean the house, Im doing breakfest, washing dishes, clean the house etc.)

Two days ago she was much more angry at 3 am.  Because I said the solution is going to doctor. She was scream and said 'if you will say this again I will stab you'. And she kicked my sofa 3 times.  She was swearing to me.  After a few minutes she calmed down and we hugged and slept.

Before I discovered mey wife is bpd I was helpless, depressed. After I know my wife is bpd now I know there is something to do. because I believe that Understanding the problem is half the solution. Know ı have some questions.

Questions:
1) What is the limits?
2) What can I do to decreasing discussions?
3) How can I persuade her for treatment?
4) If she refuse to treatment am I divorce her?
5) Should we have child (she want child very much more and I cannot say no)?
6) in summary What can ı do?

I need your help. please help me. thank you

Now I make a decision. And I m divorce from her. I cant take this anymore. She never will be better. Today when ı was work  she wrote message and she said `come home at 3 PM and we will go to lawyer`. I come home at 4 PM and she said why didnt you came at 3 PM. I staid next her and ı touched her ı Kissed her but she going to say again why you  didnt came home. Lets go to lawyer. After two hours listen this ı said ok tomorrow ı will go to lawyer. I cant take this anymore. And ı take my phone plane mode. Because ı dont want to disturb me with message of her.