BPDFamily.com

Date: Oct-2014(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/spacer.gif)Minutes: 26:47
Debra Lafave Interview with NBC Matt Lauer

I came across this today.  I'd actually forgotten about this girl, as I'm sure many of us probably had.  She made a really big splash into the public spotlight a few years back when she was arrested for having sex with one of her underage students. 
 
A year after leaving my BPD relationship, it was almost chilling for me to watch this.  Chilling because of the familiarity.  This girl says things that are completely consistent with a diagnosis of BPD/NPD (mainly, not taking any responsibility and the air of arrogant privilege), she makes facial expressions that I remember seeing on a regular basis from my BPD, she projects the reasons for her bad behavior on others, and so on and so forth.
 
If you watch all 4 sections of the interview (watch the video link on the right hand side) you'll see that she's also given a diagnosis of BiPolar - the most common mis-diagnosis for BPD.  Now, I know that I'm not a psychiatrist and in no position to make a diagnosis other than through my own experience, but I can't help but develop my own intuitions about this woman based on my own experience and the uncanny similarity between this girl and my exBPDgf.
 
In any event - watch this and tell me what your opinions are.  I'm very curious what you folks here on the board think. 
 
Does watching this girl bring back any memories for you?

THAT was painful to watch. She had so many behavioural mechanisms going on it bothered me much. I will probably lose my lunch and have nightmares all night.


Me thinks we have a 'winner'... .'poster child' if you will.

I hope her xH and new soulmate find their way here.


Thanks for the memories, KaiserSoce!   :P   8)

A little too hard to watch... .she looks like my ex 10 years younger... .without the ravages of alcohol and cigarettes and children.  Even her childhood parallels my ex's.  man.

wow - that was positively eerie!

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=72763.0

Uncanny.  Also forgot to mention to risque dress.  And talk about wanting people to look at her... .she was a nudist, which I found out after I was married.

transcripts of the interview between Larry King of CNN and her husband.

www.transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0501/25/lkl.01.html

Evil, evil, evil, evil. This women makes me want to vomit!    My husband was seduced by a 30 year old women when he was 12. She told him she was making him a man. He didn't even know that it was considered CHILD MOLESTATION!  It screwed him up big time. Debra Lefave may have BPD but to me she's pure evil. She's creepy and ugly.

I watched only one of the video clips... .and I could barely stomach that.

I hope she doesn't have children of her own, I hate to think of what she would do to them!

Debra Lafave Arrested on Probation Violation for Talking to Teen Girl (Dec. 2007)

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,315052,00.html

This brings up so much in the Bipolar/Borderline distinction. 

In the interview she vascillates between accepting some kind of responsibility for the situation and regarding herself as a victim. 

What is interesting is that the exhusband's friends tried to warn him about marrying her... .   they saw something, but he didn't listen.  And now she's got some other guy that she is engaged to!  I'm sure he feels she was wronged (or changed) and he is protecting her.

I'm not sure what to say about the latest arrest...   she works with the 16 year old... I don't know how you can work with someone without talking to them, but you can maintain a "just business" attitude, and she apparently didn't do that.  But I'm sure she presented herself as a victim in that situation also. 

Something about her just screams "borderline" vs. bipolar.  That wide-eyed innocence, the baby voice, the whole "I'm a victim" demeanor.

I completely agree with your personal diagnosis. My ex-husband and my son have the exact same behaviors and attitude. They both have done horrible things and blame, blame, blame. Nothing and I do mean NOTHING is ever their fault and there is no compassion for others they hurt- none. Debra is exactly the same.

borderline, narcissistic, histrionic... .all three came to mind

is she considered to be a pedophile? or was the boy in question not young enough for her to be charged as such?

She is a registered sex offender due to his age.  As was noted in the interviews, if she were a male teacher and the student a 14 year old female, the teacher would have been locked up for years. 

Debrah in my opinion was not a BPD or a bipolar but something extremely close and in the Cluster B Personality Disorders along with BPD and that something is a Histrionic Personality Disordered woman.

Think BPD but without the rage or self injury and quite a bit more high functioning.

Same destructive relationship patterns though.

Can anyone post a link to the video? Thanks

Interview with Debra Lafave (Video)

Here it is, I found it in a previous post. 

What was so eery was that she seemed so content with her life the way that it is.  It was almost as if she was talking of someone else, rather than herself.

When my uNPDxh referred to anything that he ever did wrong, he would always speak in the third person.

Darn, the link didn't transfer.  Look at earlier post , on first page.

Ok, it's there. Thanks csandra. :)

Two things really jumped out at me:

She says: "I committed a sex offence, but I am not a sexual offender"  HUH?  Talk about not fully accepting responsibility.

The other, regarding her victim;"I don't think of him at all"

I agree that she is likely BPD.  It was hard to watch. 

wow-yeah can see what you mean.  She should totally be in jail; so many contradictions I liked how the reporter kept pointing them out.  Yep kept trying to make herself the victim, I think the end is just sad I was a good kind hearted person for 23 years and nothing was wrong (besides the episodes of mania, supposedly being raped, trying to kill herself twice, sounds like everything was just peachy before).

Well... .   she had tried to kill herself when she was younger, and there is something very self-destructive about having sex with an underaged student when you are a teacher... .   She claimed things were going so well between her and the h, supposedly her career was going well, but she had to do something that would blow the marriage and the career apart.  As to the raging, well, we really don't know.  Her husband didn't mention any rages, but who knows what it was like to live with her.  Also, some with BPD don't rage...   they just engage in unacceptable behaviors and/or get into waif/hermit modes.  "Waif" types do not necessarily rage.

I've always thought that trying to distinguish among the Cluster B's over someone's lifetime is difficult anyway.

Who on earth is financially supporting her ?  I presume that her new job pays less than a teacher's salary and even on a teacher's salary... .my gosh... .swimming pool, well landscaped yard, still dresses well.

She has a boyfriend or a fiance... .  I think she referred to him as a fiance. 

Watching these videos was very disturbing. It shook me somewhere deep in my person... .heart, soul... .I'm not sure where but, as I stated earlier, there was an air of evil.  I agree that she seems to have BPD.  It also seems to me that she has Anti Social Personality Disorder. She shows no remorse and seems to have a complete lack of empathy for her victim/victims.

She did do what she set out to do though. She definately taught her students about rape!

its such a sick system thats set up.  the media is rife with sexualized images and subliminal messages, then when people crack up from the pressure they are condemned.  sure, her actions are her own responsibility, but the media slips into the background again and no one notices.  sick. 

Interesting read, I noticed at the very end, her now e-husband said that he thought they were "soul mates".

Most people are hooked into the media, and I'd say a large amount of it is trashy.  :)espite that, most people don't do this.

yes, with many other people the pressure comes out in other ways, on one end of the spectrum there are disorders like BPD, obsessive compulsive disorder or passive/aggressive behaviour etc, while the other end has more socially acceptable behaviour like hit_ing or depression. 

everyone is accountable for their own behaviour, when they are put in a pressure cooker environment i feel some accountability should be taken by society, or at the very least for people to understand its place in all this. no man is an island.

what she did was wrong.  she used her authority to manipulate a child to feel a sense of personal power and she shows no sorrow or accountability for that, which makes her continue to be a threat to children.  but why her?  she said another teacher did the same thing 2 days after her and wasn't targeted by the media.  smacks of scapegoating to me.

wow. This makes me livid, I hate that people use mental illness as an excuse the way they do "it's not my fault, I have such and such"

Holy borderline... .wow wow wow, this reminds me of my relationship... .

... ."promise?"

... ."yeah"

... ."pinky promise"

... ."yeah"

... ."come on! say PINKY PROMISE"

OMG... .the dialogue is identical... .I think I am going to go 

Ok, let us think about this for a moment: Boy rapes her in 8th grade. Could have happened but:

Which female teacher walks into the boys bathroom?

  So it was the girls or the teacher's bathroom.

What boy gets the idea to force a girl to come with him there?

  So she likely had a say in it. 

And she did go into the bathroom to

   ... .kiss?

And it was your boyfriend

   ... .ahh one of your boyfriends.

The teacher let you off the hook?

  She did not realize that I was raped... .

Only raped party here was the truth. Makes me 

"The devil made me do it."

"I was hyper-sexual because I was in the manic stage of bipolar." (Ever heard of Lithium?)

"I was "raped" in 8th grade but the teacher didn't intervene."

"It's NEVER my fault/responsibility."

"I never think of him (the victim.)"

"It's just because I'm attractive... .that the media (culprits) have exploited this (sordid) story."

And she has utilized her beauty to "get over" since she was a child. It appeared to me she was playing the "seductive virgin" to the interviewer.

My late DH reached his full adult size by the time he was 13... .guess who "initiated" him into his first sexual experience? His female teacher-in 1948. Nothing new here.

She's disgusting and sick.

Definitely this woman molester is one with BPD but... .

understand that our society in true reality glamorizes this activity. Especially if it is a woman. Sex sells more for the ones who have no idea they have no moral values or boundaries.

Now that I have 3 plus years of understanding my ex BPDw, it is rather interesting to also understand my ex was not wrong when she said everyone (she knew) was also molesting their own kids. She was doing what most like her were and are doing secretly in private to their own kids. When the kids grow out of these homes they do what this lady in the vid did and is so common that it is impossible to imprison all of them. They now just do more cover up as no one likes to be as exposed as this one did.

We are just like the frogs in a boiling pot. When do you think our society will realize it is to hot to survive by jumping out or just do nothing and the unknowing will just parish in the unlivable melting pot we truly live in.

My point to sharing this is not to scare anyone. But to put the true realities in front of us and not to hide them just so it feels better.