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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: plaintop on February 18, 2010, 12:40:43 PM



Title: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: plaintop on February 18, 2010, 12:40:43 PM
So, I run into my exBPD gf (2 years together) at a snow ball battle in my town. It was a FB event, and she figured I'd probably be there with my camera, which I was. I was kind of expecting her to show up, but didn't not want to be a part of the event. Sure enough she's there (with new target) THANK GOD! It was not even three weeks since we broke up. She's a needy little girl... .So, she walks right up to me, I said something silly about her camera like "what are you shooting", and she just rolled her eyes. She was drinking (it was 2PM), and just looked awful!

Anyway, she's started to integrate into the downtown area where I live, (I have other proof too)... .she has a whole new set of friends that will put her in places that I might frequent or possibly show up in. She is very angry at me (maybe I should post my first thread link). So, I'm looking for advise. Everyone is saying don't show up anywhere alone. She was not physical in the relationship, but she's a drama queen and an amplifying escalator. She cannot be trusted and may start some kind of hit_.

She also searches my name on Goggle all the time looking for whatever she can find about me.

Any advise? thanks!



Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: jalk on February 18, 2010, 01:56:33 PM
How do you know she searches your name on Google?


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: plaintop on February 18, 2010, 02:26:11 PM
I have an alert setup for when anyone searches my name on google it emails me. I also have an alert for a username that I use on a mens forum that she dug through my browser tabs and found. She still searches on that too to see if I've posted anything about her on the site. Why would anyone search on my name two, three times a week? It's her... .

I didn't realize she was BPD while I was with her, so I haven't posted anything anywhere she might look. I obviously don't want her to see that I'm saying anything about her. Especially a disorder diagnoses.


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: jalk on February 18, 2010, 08:19:24 PM
Sometimes we can't control what they do, only what we do. My ex tries to dig up info on me too but she doesn't know who to ask. So she tries to contact me by sending me texts asking how I'm doing etc etc... .I never reply and she keeps at it. Shows how sick they really are. Your ex can't let you go either. Needs to have you in her radar... .just in case she wants to reel you back in. I say, go about your life and forget her. You have a right to your feelings and your opinions as much as she does.


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: woddah on February 18, 2010, 08:49:57 PM
Is it through google alerts? I know you can set alerts to alert you if new search results show up, but I cant find anything that allows you to get alerts if someone searches for you. Where is that alert?


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: Amdis on February 18, 2010, 08:53:37 PM
I have an alert setup for when anyone searches my name on google it emails me.

How do you do this?


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: rosebud on February 18, 2010, 09:36:11 PM
Is it through google alerts? I know you can set alerts to alert you if new search results show up, but I cant find anything that allows you to get alerts if someone searches for you. Where is that alert?

I guess this is it:

www.shoutmeloud.com/use-google-alert-to-monitor-what-people-are-talking-about-you-online.html

www.google.com/alerts?hl=en&gl=us


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: woddah on February 19, 2010, 08:18:32 AM
Is it through google alerts? I know you can set alerts to alert you if new search results show up, but I cant find anything that allows you to get alerts if someone searches for you. Where is that alert?

I guess this is it:

www.shoutmeloud.com/use-google-alert-to-monitor-what-people-are-talking-about-you-online.html

www.google.com/alerts?hl=en&gl=us

Those are just alerts to new search results with the search terms you provide. He was saying that he gets an alert if someone does a search for him. I wouldn't think that is possible.


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: plaintop on February 19, 2010, 12:14:13 PM
Thanks for all the responses!

I guess why would your name come back in a search unless someone typed it in? Sometimes it is wrong, but I think it's a good way to track if someone is searching on you. I have usernames in there as well. Why would those come up?

Set it up for yourself and see what happens... .


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: GodofNietzsche on February 19, 2010, 04:00:55 PM
No, it doesn't show when people search for your specific criteria.

Rather, it shows when there are new search results that match your criteria.

"Google Alerts are emails automatically sent to you when there are new Google results for your search terms. You can also choose to have your alerts delivered via feed to the feedreader of your choice (e.g., Google Reader or add the feed to your iGoogle page). We currently offer alerts with results from News, Web, Blogs, Video and Groups."


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: GodofNietzsche on February 19, 2010, 04:13:02 PM
Try this:

www.thebostonchannel.com/news/15336943/detail.html

If someone google searches you, and then clicks on your profile, it will alert you.  It will even say where they are.  But of course, if they google search you, but don't click on the link to your profile, you won't know.

But a lot of BPDs probably will.


Title: Re: ok, she's officially stalking, what to do?
Post by: 2010 on February 19, 2010, 07:29:34 PM
Excerpt
So, she walks right up to me, I said something silly about her camera like "what are you shooting", and she just rolled her eyes.

Why are you talking to her? If she is stalking you- refuse to make eye contact, dont engage in conversation and put distance between you.