Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: movingon1 on April 11, 2010, 09:40:00 AM

Title: Need advice and I have a few comments
Post by: movingon1 on April 11, 2010, 09:40:00 AM
I have been divorced from my BPD ex wife for over 2 months and have not seen her in a year except in court.  I found a CD with some of our wedding pictures on them which I do not want.

Should I just throw it out or mail it to her in case she wants it?  Am I just asking for trouble if I send it to her?  Also I keep getting alot of her magazines in the mail.  I have asked her several times to stop them but to no avail...   They are all womens magazines so they are of no interest to me.

Another thing is in 2008 we got married in a small historic church in Upstate NY.  Her family maintains the funds for the church and the website.  Shortly after we got married they put our pictures up on the website.  After we split for good I asked her to take the pictures of me and my children off the site.  She said she asked her family to do so but 18 months later the pictures are still up on the site.  I find this weird.

One last thing.  For fun I went to see a psychic last week.  I purposely did not give her any personal info about me. I wanted her to read me and tell me what she thought.  To my surprise she told me that i just went through a bad break up that hurt me alot.  This is true.  I got divorced in January.  She also told me that my ex misses me very much, she is very lonely and she wants to talk to me.  This is also true because at least every 4 weeks my ex sends me a text.  I never reply.  I just thought it was a bit creepy she knew this.

Title: Re: Need advice and I have a few comments
Post by: Manon46 on April 12, 2010, 02:06:39 AM
I did the same thing, kept things because maybe he wanted it to have...

Kept receiving mail etc.etc... .

At one point i got rid of it all, and finally thought... .ok, you had time enough to ask for it if you wanted it, change the adress if the mail is important... .if you don't do it, i will do it,but i'll do it in my way... .too bad if its not his way... .it's her responsibility to change the adress and ask if she wants anything... .she doesn't... so throw it away, and mail... .return to sender with MOVED on it... .

The pictures on are is harder... over here you can order them to remove legally but i don't know if you are willing to go on that path... if you don't just leave m there... .who cares? If it makes them happy ?

And psychic? Yeah well, strange things happen... .just take it for wat it is and don't live by it x

Title: Re: Need advice and I have a few comments
Post by: 2010 on April 12, 2010, 04:13:16 AM
You can contact the server admn for their website and ask them to remove the photos. You can find this info by researching WHOIS.

Title: Re: Need advice and I have a few comments
Post by: Want2know on April 12, 2010, 09:06:22 AM
I gave my ex a lot of opportunity to come get his stuff.  Finally, he said just sell it, which is what I did even though it felt kind of wrong.  There are things I run into every so often at my home that I put aside for him.  Things that would not feel right to get rid of (like cufflinks his dad gave him before he died).  I just keep them... .they don't mean anything to me, but one day, if it's right, I'll send them to him.

Magazines... .throw them out. Eventually the subscription will end.  Wedding photos... .I think you might want to put them aside in a drawer or somewhere where you won't run into them often.  You might find you actually do want them for yourself one day when you've moved on.  I look at my wedding photos and am glad I didn't get rid of them.  It WAS a good time, at one point.  I don't want to forget that completely.