Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: lbjnltx on October 06, 2010, 11:26:20 AM

Title: Month 5: BPD d13 in residential treatment center
Post by: lbjnltx on October 06, 2010, 11:26:20 AM
we had our first session with the Positive Peer Culture leader yesterday.  unbeknown-st to us (husband and i) we were supposed to do a worksheet on the first chapter of the Positive Peer Culture book...i read it 4 months ago...this worksheet got lost in the shuffle of info given to us at the family weekend...so instead we talked about the family weekend/off campus time we had last month.

BPDd-13's comments:  it was good that we all accepted each other and had a say in our activities off campus.  i was pleased with how I communicated w/my mom during family therapy and group family therapy. I believe that I showed respect to everyone including peers and staff while my family visited here.

i realize now how selfish I used to be.  i think it is better to not have so many expectations and to be open to what ever comes up.  like when we wanted to go to the arcade and found out it was closed.  we ended up going to the park which I really thought was lame but then we started playing basketball with this one kid and then a bunch of other kids showed up and it turned out to be the most fun I had off campus with my family.

my low self image made it easy to blame my parents for my behaviors and my unhappiness.  i realize now that I have a responsibility in my family too.  i can be a leader in my family as well as a follower and doer of good.  if we work together we can do this.  i know my mom has worked hard and read lots of books about my disorders to try to help our family and mostly me.  i didn't think my dad was that invested but now I see that he is too.  this shows how much they love me and want me to do well.

i don't think I am ready to have a full mother/daughter relationship w/my mom quite yet but I am working on it. I know I have just as much responsibility to my family as they have towards me. I know I hurt her feelings when she was here and it was time to say goodbye on sunday and when we had an hour together on saturday too.  

Positive Peer Culture leader:  if I told you that since you are not making wise use of your family time together and that they must leave because of that how would you feel?

BPDd-13:  terrible.

Positive Peer Culture leader:  so now do you see how your mom felt?

BPDd-13: yes.  i'm sorry mom.  i know you really care about me a lot.  i know you can and have tried to help me so much.

then we said our goodbye.

we talked during our social call ... avoiding telling d that her dog won't be able to come this month during our off campus visit...talked about the package I sent last week, talked about how she was really getting into the Positive Peer Culture group...how it would be good to have a Positive Peer Culture group at school when she gets home...

the therapist never called me yesterday to discuss the messy conference call outcome  ;p

maybe today...


BPD d13 in residential treatment center «

Month 1 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=120563)
Month 2 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=177524)
Month 3 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=125264)
Month 4 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=127415)
     Month 5 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=129653)
Month 6 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=131681)
Month 7 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=133797)
Month 8 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136413)
     Month 9 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=138842)
Month 10 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=140551)

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: pennifree on October 06, 2010, 12:34:58 PM
dear lbjnltx,

All I can say is "wow, what progress"

It's so fantastic to read the changes in your D.  She has a hopeful future and a real chance to live a full and productive life.   |iiii

Take care,


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: Jemima on October 06, 2010, 04:57:40 PM
I am always impressed by your reports ... you are a very committed mom. 

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: peaceplease on October 06, 2010, 09:31:35 PM
 |iiii .  Ditto to what previous posters have said.  Your posts are so inspirational and offer hope to others.  I am so glad that she is getting such marvelous treatment at a young age. 

Again, thanks for sharing the journey of your dd's stay at residential treatment center.

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 06, 2010, 10:16:34 PM
thank you dear friends.

i post because I want to give others the opportunity to understand what happens at an residential treatment center..i know they are all different...i just didn't really have a grasp of what all to expect. 

i post because I want to share the good news just as I have shared the bad news.

i post because I want to let others...especially those w/younger BPD children...know there is hope and  healing.

i post because I am so blessed to have this site and all of  you to help me when I am down and to celebrate when things are good.

i appreciate you all so very much.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 07, 2010, 12:34:31 AM
lbj - you are a wise & beautiful person and we are all so grateful to have you here. Your story sharing is so encouraging and hopeful. And I am honored to be here to listen, try to understand, and give lots of virtual     when your very humaness needs this too.

qcr    |iiii

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 08, 2010, 10:26:12 AM
the therapist tried to call on wednesday...stupid cell phone didn't ring.  said she would call again on thursday.

Family therapist session #15

the session began w/BPDd-13 asking if her dog was coming for the off campus visit...told her no...no cargo passage into vegas...too big to fit in a carrier that would fit under the seat in the cabin...she was so disappointed.  the therapist explained to her why the dog has to be able to move around in the carrier because BPDd-13 wanted to put the dog into a smaller carrier that would fit under the seat.  therapist asked BPDd-13 "do you accept that mom did everything she could to bring your dog?"  BPDd-13 said "no".  therapist told her the dog's health would be at stake, the airlines have these rules for the protection of the pets, etc...then the therapist asked her if she thought it would be a good idea to fly her dog under dangerous circumstances...BPDd-13 said "no.  I just miss him so much though."  the therapist said "this is like all the times your parents were trying to protect you from danger...you didn't see it that way at the time.  do you see it now?" BPDd-13:  "yes".  BPDd-13 didn't feel like continuing the family therapist session...she was very upset...t asked  her to take a moment and process all this info and clear her mind...take a deep cleansing breathe...then asked BPDd-13 if she could continue now...BPDd-13 said "yes...i'm ok now".

BPDd-13 told us she has been tracking her anger, bad dreams, and hallucinations for the past 3 days...at the request of her t...to see if the abilify increase is helping and for the therapist to get a better idea of the issues..

BPDd-13 said that she is still hearing the voices...but less in the past few days...she didn't have a bad dream last nite..but did the nite before, and that she is still having anger issues.  therapist asked her to create a time line to on her hallucinations.  this is what BPDd-13 had written and read to us:

5 yrs. old.. say a man like in a thermal vision of purple and blue in the hall outside my bedroom.

7 yrs. old..started having blurrs in my vision.

12 yr. old..started seeing brown/black flashes out of the corners of my eye

               heard voices whispering my name and saying "do it".  also say

               stuff I couldn't understand.

13 yr. old..voices are louder.  heard a scream while I listen to music, miss

               hearing words.  having terrible dreams..woke up and saw the

               back of a man's foot go into the closet.

i asked BPDd-13 if she remembers coming home from church camp at age 11 and telling me she thought our house was haunted...she did remember and said that "i don't think it is haunted..i think it is negative energy there".  husband told her that we can proclaim God's word and cleanse the house of any negative energy from the past when she comes for a home visit.  the therapist interjected here that it is true and is in the scriptures and also that BPDd-13 has a look of fear at this time.  therapist asked BPDd-13 what else she could do to help...BPDd-13 said "create positive energy, pray w/my family so that I will feel safer.  I don't want to go home and be angry".

i told my BPD13 about her grammy also hearing voices...since her late teens/early 20s  and that she decided it was the Holy Spirit calling her and it happens rarely...and she is not afraid...i asked how that makes her feel to know that?  she replied "it feels good to know that someone else can understand what I am going through".

i asked BPDd-13 why are you feeling angry lately?  she replied "i just get this rush of feelings and I can't control it...when I try to control it the feelings build up and then eventually it goes away.  I feel this when people are rude, won't listen to me, won't make good decisions or when someone says something I don't want to hear".  therapist said "you are referring to your peers here right?"  BPDd-13 :  yes...i want to see them get better and at the same time I don't want them to get better because then they will go home and I will miss them.  I told her "yes I can understand why you would be frustrated with them and the situation.  however, everyone there has the same goal...to go home better and be happier.  it sounds like you are conflicted."  BPDd-13 asked "what does that mean?"  therapist told her you have 2 desires that are opposing each other in this situation.  I pointed out to BPDd-13 that she is seeing both sides of the same coin...that she is doing a good job of thinking instead of reacting and I was proud of her accomplishment.

BPDd-13 also said she has the goal of going into "trans" by month 6.  once more BPDd-13 talks about the conflict of going into trans to get closer to coming home and not wanting to be in trans because it means she is closer to leaving her friends there...so we talk once more about her seeing both sides of a situation...cross application from how she feels to the idea that most of the other girls feel the same way.  we discuss how valuable cross application is...like in equine therapy...taking what she learns about relationship w/her horse and applying it to her human relationships.  therapist points out that she is using her "Wise Mind" and has taken the blinders off that she came to falcon ridge with. 

we ended the session by talking about the difference between control and empowerment...t asked her to explain the difference...BPDd-13 said..one you can never do ... the other is always an option.   :)

about 2 hours after our session the therapist called me privately.  wanted to let me know that the pdoc was set on increasing the abilify...said she too was frustrated w/him for not explaining the reasoning of his decision...that when BPDd-13 had come into the room and spoke w/them...she talked about the voices in a way that was different than she had presented to her t...that she had a terrifying dream a few nights ago (didn't get permission from my BPDd-13 to share the content of the dream) woke up and that is when she say the man's foot going into the closet which means the visual hallucinations are back again. (this is with the increase in the abilify ).  therapist said that she has been looking hard at other disorders to see if she can get an idea on how to best coach BPDd-13 through these psychotic issues...hasn't come to a conclusion yet.

informed therapist that we will not be able to have BPDd-13 participate in neurotherapy due to the extra cost...perhaps when she gets home we will have some extra $ for that...t also really wants us to take BPDd-13 to get a spect scan...we will have to see on that...it is over $3000...told therapist that most likely we will only be able to keep BPDd-13 there until feb. 1...8 months also due to $. 


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 08, 2010, 03:45:16 PM
lbj - this was a very intense session, and scary for you guys and d13. Yet, she got herself past the disappointment about her dog not coming. IMHO seems a trial tapering off the abilify in the safe, supervised situation of the residential treatment center would be worthwhile. Seems this increase has made things worse, not better. And I have known of others that could not tolerate abilify - very agitating. How to ask for this in a way to respect the pdoc's need to be in control of the meds. decisions.?

Hang in there - hard work this is for all.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 08, 2010, 04:59:47 PM
thanks for your thoughts qcarol,

hopefully the tracking of her symptoms will help clarify the direction the meds need to go in.

i got the notes from the pdoc for  the past 4 months.  no real surprises except that she denied having any psychotic features in the beginning when she talked w/him...then in the sept. visit she told him the voices were making remarks about her behavior...this info was not included in the "time line" or tracking of her psychotic features...

this is what drives  me nuts...there is no consistency to her tales and no one calls her on it...adds to the doubt about her honesty on the entire issue.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 17, 2010, 07:53:57 PM
we had our 16th family therapy session on friday.

BPDd-13 was so excited to tell us that she got to take her project horse Little Doc on a trail ride...all her hard work with him and earning the trust and respect of the horse and the staff is paying off in spades!

BPDd-13 has had a revelation she wanted to share with us about her past sense of entitlement.  she realizes how selfish she used to be.  she said "i came to the understanding that every dollar counts.  I want to think of everyone and not just myself anymore.  I don't want to keep asking for a lot of things I don't need."  "i understand the difference between a need and a want".  "my parents have always supplied all my needs and I should earn the money to get the things I want" and "i should save some of the money I earn so that when something unexpected comes up I will have the money to take care of it instead of begging my mom for it".

we talked about some past situations and her perspective was consistent. when the therapist asked her if there was anything else from the past pertaining to her sense of entitlement she wanted to discuss she responded " I don't really need to talk about anything else.  I get it now."

we talked about her friends from the past and what her future plans were pertaining to these past friendships.  BPDd-13 replied " I think I will wait until I get full understanding and have all my tools and then decide if I want to help them or if they bring me down".  BPDd-13 is so so into the Positive Peer Culture process and how empowering it is and so into her own recovery that she wants to be able to share that experience with her peers...even the ones from the past that were bad influences.

we have already discussed her attempting to start a Positive Peer Culture group at school when she gets home...we are encouraging her to dream big, believe in herself and others, work hard ... it is a good thing.  BPDd-13 replied "i agree".

we have our 2nd Positive Peer Culture therapy on tuesday.  BPDd-13's birthday is on thursday and I will be there to visit her w/my mom on saturday. 

thanks for reading...i pray that it brings a spark of hope into your lives.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 17, 2010, 08:49:16 PM
lbj - hard to believe time for you Oct visit is next week. The past few weeks have gone by so fast. I am so proud of your D13 - she is working so hard. it is wonderful to hear that she 'gets it'. This does give all of us a glimmer of hopefulnees. The planning for when she comes home, starting already with those issues - this is the long term value of this residential treatment center for her.

ANd so great she got to do the trail ride. horses are very scary to me - but others seem to love them. gd5 has her second lesson next Sunday - my sister is paying  for this as she is the horse person. Will kind of be a hard day for her as she is retiring her horse (age18) after gd's lesson. Moving him to pasture near where I live on a large farm. She is looking for a 'new 1000 lb. pet'. Her trainer does most of the show riding.

Getting off track here - keep doing the right things.  |iiii


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: FMJ on October 18, 2010, 04:36:38 AM
Wow, lbj!  Just read all the posts...my thoughts and prayers are with you...quite a journey

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: peaceplease on October 18, 2010, 05:39:28 PM

Glad to hear that your dd is making progress. 

Do they get verbal permission to increase her dose of abilify?  If memory serves me correct(hard to tell these days, lol) - we always needed to contact the parents for permission to increase dosage.  The pdoc should explain the rationale for increase in dosage.  And, is he not acknowledging her inconsistency of details regarding the hallucinations?  I can understand the  t's  and your frustration with the pdoc.

You do bring a spark of hope to others, especially the one's with adolescent's.

God bless you for sharing.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 18, 2010, 07:00:55 PM
yes peaceplease,

they have to have my permission for the med changes.  I felt manipulated by the whole process last time because I was told they would call me back when my d came into the meeting...didn't call me back until she left the meeting.  therapist said privately a few days later that my d had spoken about the hallucinations in a totally different way than previous.  therapist also agreed that pdoc did not quantify his decision to raise the meds...they are still tracking her psychotic features and therapist is still researching.

i came across an old study 08 I think...when investigating the possibility that my BPDd-13 (also dx/mdd) may have psychotic depression.  I initially discarded the possibility because her depression is pretty mild, especially since going to the residential treatment center...anyway the study concluded that depression symptoms need not be severe to be accompanied by psychotic features...it would certainly explain her symptoms...still unsure of course.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 20, 2010, 09:54:00 AM
Positive Peer Culture Family Therapy Session #2

we started the session by going over the questions on chapter 1 of the Positive Peer Culture book. 

we discussed the stages of growing up...infancy/childhood, adolescents, adulthood...the problems arise in adolescents due to them not having the maturity to make the decisions for themselves that they desire to make...and in adulthood...the frontal lobes not maturing until well into their 20's.

we discussed what conflict is...a battle for control...BPDd-13 said she was constantly putting herself and us in "no win situations".  she "wanted power over her own life", "didn't care about my own safety".

we talked about the healthy expression of feelings.  BPDd-13 said she is "using her old negative energy to help herself and others by putting it to work in a positive way".  she confessed that at the beginning of her time at the residential treatment center she "tried too hard to help others and didn't know how to really help myself or love myself".

BPDd-13 is working on articulating emotions in a positive way, focusing more on herself than on others, working on having healthy boundaries, and "working harder than I have been".

Positive Peer Culture leader..nahli...told her "if someone doesn't accept or use your help does it feed your low self image?"  BPDd-13:  "yes".  me:  "we are only responsible for what we can control.  if we cannot control another person then we are not responsible for their choices.  just because someone doesn't use or even consider our help doesn't mean we are wrong or unworthy...it just means they made a different choice".

BPDd-13 continues to struggle with wanting control over others.

nahli tells us she is making great progress.

thanks for reading...

family therapist session #17 tomorrow...also...it is my daughters' 14 birthday.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: Jemima on October 20, 2010, 11:06:22 AM
lbjnltx, I always follow your threads about your daughter's experience in RTC with great interest. I will be very interested to know the "proper" explanation for your daughter's odd perceptual experiences. There are so many possibilities as to the reason she is experiencing this. Keep us posted!

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 20, 2010, 05:43:56 PM
lbj - thanks for sharing. sounds like a good session. What does Positive Peer Culture stand for - peer to peer counseling?

Today have been thinking of what things I could do or say (probably NOTHING) to interest DD24 in pursing some kind of help --- guess patience with her process is what I have to hold onto. Do you have any links for the kind of things in the Positive Peer Culture book - I am very curious.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 20, 2010, 06:51:32 PM
hi qcarol,

Positive Peer Culture= positive peer culture...established for adolescents.


if you want to learn about it.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 22, 2010, 09:32:54 AM
well, we waited and waited for our family therapy call...it never came...finally about 2 hours past the scheduled time I called the case manager again...she told me the therapist was out sick...had left me a message on wednesday that therapy was cancelled...never got the message!  she still insists she left a message...cell phones...ughh

BPDd-13 called us after they had the pizza party I ordered for her birthday...waiting to eat the pumpkin pie the cook made  her as a special treat...she was tired from a busy day...we sang Happy Birthday to her and look forward to our visit beginning tomorrow night.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: peaceplease on October 22, 2010, 11:50:16 AM

Sorry that you missed your session.  It must have been aggravating all of that time and to find out that she wasn't there. 

Hope you have a wonderful visit. 


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: americanbelle on October 22, 2010, 04:14:44 PM
I hope your visit goes well.  Everything they are doing with your daughter sounds so intense. Her thoughts and responses are so mature for someone her age.  It certainly seems to be an indication of maturity for sure.

Wish I could speed that process up for DD20  LOL

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 24, 2010, 11:23:12 AM
lbj - so frustrating ;p . Glad you called and found out what was going on. Will be thinking of you and your mom for your visit. Hope all goes well. 


PS - gd sends the heart.

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: Togetheritispossible on October 24, 2010, 06:14:36 PM
Thank you for keeping us posted. I know my daughter would benefit RTC..maybe someday

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 28, 2010, 08:45:41 AM
hello dear friends that are taking this journey with me and my family!

the trip to see my BPDd-13 did not start out well.  a severe storm with heavy wind and rain made the trip to my mothers' house treacherous...i was beginning to doubt we would make our flight...should not have worried so!...our flight left 3.5 hours late ;p   since it would be almost midnight before we would reach the residential treatment center to pick up my BPDd-13 we waited to pick her up on sunday morning.  I had contacted the after hours coordinator and left the decision up to the staff at the residential treatment center...i didn't want my BPDd-13 anxious or worried so I kept them posted on our arrival status.  they decided it was best to tell BPDd-13 to go to sleep and rest for our off campus visit.

when we arrived sunday am she was having breakfast w/her group. all the girls wished her well and we set out.  the first thing she wanted to do was go to walmart to buy items to for us to make bracelets and necklaces together (a birthday gift from her grammy).  we then went to the hotel where she enjoyed the hot tub and the heated pool for a while.  later we walked to a nearby shopping center to get a few more items she still needed (sweats, hygiene products, beads for the jewelry).  we stopped to eat...place closed.  went back to the hotel and got the car for a jaunt over to subway instead.  we got back to the hotel once more and worked on the jewelry for about 2 hours.  BPDd-13 had difficulty staying on this task that she was so excited about.  she stopped working on one and began another...can anyone say ADHD?

we went in search of a particular restaurant that had an arcade...finally found it (utah's street/highway naming system is bizarre!) only to find it closed as well...even though their recorded message said it was open on sundays ?  instead we went for pizza...BPDd-13 handled the disappointment well saying "this is so good...glad it worked out this way".  back at the hotel...she tried to take a shower...since our room was at the far end of the hotel it takes about 5 min. to get hot water...she came out dressed for bed...hair wet...cold and frustrated.  she was short tempered and tired...stating "i'm not in a good mood.  i'm tired and I need to sleep".  I see this as a positive...she was able to state her feelings and what needs she had and then acted in an appropriate way to meet that need herself!

monday morning we got up and headed up to kanab canyon in the rain.  another fun drive!  we were going to best friends animal sanctuary...about 2 hours drive.  BPDd-13 took a bracelet in the car to work on...not much work got done...when we arrived we had to wait for an orientation to start...did that 20 min.  by then it was time for lunch.  thankfully they had an all vegetarian menu so BPDd-13 was happy...there were no tables left inside so we ate outside...like to froze...BPDd-13 did not complain.  after lunch we went to the designated area we chose to work in..."old friends"...mid sized dogs 6 yrs and up...when we got there we had to watch another safety video/orientation...by this time we had been at best friends for 2.5 hours and still had not done what we came there to do...add another 2 hours for the drive and we are at 4.5 hours...i would have expected a great deal of displeasure from any 14 yr old...but she never complained...not once...so proud of her coping skills and recognizing the need for what we had to do to get to the "reward"...following the rules of best friends. 

when we finally got to work w/the dogs we walked them on the trails for awhile and then started the care taking...we did everything they asked of us.:  feeding, picking up bowls, sweeping indoor kennels, poop scooping, shaking out beds, filling water buckets, etc...BPDd-13 did all these tasks gladly...at the end of the session she told the supervisor she just wanted to "play with the dogs now"... so we did for about an hour.  we both smelled like dogs!  when we left we drove through zion national park...gorgeous!  we all enjoyed the trip down the mountain...am thankful that we didn't try to go that way on the trip up in the rain! 20 miles per hour most of the way and hairpin turn after hairpin turn.

we stopped for yogurt before going to the hotel.  took her back to the hot tub/pool for a while...had left over pizza in our room. she asked to get a pay per view movie...$15...told her "that is a lot of $ for a movie...do you think it would be worth it? "  she said "no.  I could watch it another time for $1.00"...no melt down or even a show of disappointment from her...that is a major improvement!   told BPDd-13 we needed to clean up and pack up all of her things (there was quite a mess) before going to bed as there would not be time in the am.  she was tired and would not get up to help.  she was polite when I asked her about where things needed to go...even though she didn't do the work she participated verbally...this is also an improvement from the past as before going to the residential treatment center she would reply to me by saying "just leave it alone, just leave me alone, etc...".  she went to sleep shortly afterwards...she talks in her sleep, jerks her legs and arms, snores and is generally not fun to sleep with.

we got up on tues. am and made the trip up to the residential treatment center to leave my BPDd-13 once more in the capable and caring hands of the residential treatment center.  she was all smiles and gave hugs and kisses to my mom and myself when we left.  I was pleased with the visit overall.  she is very happy at the residential treatment center.

we have family therapy session this am at 10...will post more later about that.  also got the 6 week progress report that I haven't had time to go over thoroughly yet...it seems there are some small improvements from the last report though...we will see!

God bless and keep you all


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: pennifree on October 28, 2010, 10:49:33 AM
dear lbjnltx,

All I can say is WoW!  What a great visit and vast improvement on previous behavior.  You must be so pleased and so proud to see your D blossoming in this very positive way.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.  It is so wonderful to hear about the progress being made in your D and your family.

There is hope.


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 28, 2010, 01:29:25 PM
Family Therapy session #17

the session started with the therapist telling me that BPDd-13 was upset this morning and was engaging in a great deal of black and white thinking as she had made a mistake/done something wrong and was making negative comments about herself: "i can't do anything right".  I could hear the negativity in her voice.  the therapist asked her to tell us about her experience with her horse.

she and the equine therapist went on a trail ride no other girls have ever been on, up and down steep trails.  she was very pleased with herself and the relationship she has developed with her horse through mutual respect of boundaries, trust, care and concern.  I told her "you must have done a great deal right in order to earn such a high level of trust and privilege".  the therapist followed my lead on this and reinforced that she has done a lot of hard work and gotten a huge amount "right" in the past. 

the therapist wanted to talk about our off campus visit.  I told her how my BPDd-13 had appropriately expressed her feelings and met her own needs when she was tired.  I told her about how patient my BPDd-13 was at the best friends animal sanctuary.  once more the therapist reinforced this to my daughter and it was obvious that the reminders of "good choices" and praise were pulling my BPDd-13 out of her negative mind set.  I also explained to my BPDd-13 that I had left my cell phone in the rental car in las vegas.  how I "beat myself up" for making such a mistake for about 15 min. and then used my reason mind to let it go and forgive myself.  that it was only a cell phone and it can be replaced.  therapist jumped on that one too!

we talked about how she is feeling.  how the psychotic features are manifesting lately...a decrees!  she is tired all the time...possibly from the meds and therapist told her "maybe in future another medication that doesn't make  you so tired can be used" and "possibly getting off meds in the future is an option". 

the therapist asked her how mom is helping her grow and develop.  BPDd-13 answered "she shares her feelings with me about things, she takes the time to explain why she thinks or feels a certain way and she doesn't yell at me".  BPDd-13 said goodbye to her dad and I was left on the phone w/her and the t.  I told my BPDd-13 about the day I found out I was pregnant w/her...it was my birthday.  I told her I was so happy I smiled all the way to my moms' house.  I told her how when her dad and I were engaged to be married he was lying on my couch sketching a picture and said that "we will have a little blond haired blue eyed girl" and how I told him that was unlikely since he has brown eyes and I have green eyes. (he was right!)  BPDd-13 replied "wow, dad can see into the future".  I replied "sometimes the Holy Spirit speaks to us and we don't even know it" and "i have loved  you since the moment I knew you were to be mine.  God trusted us to be your mom and dad because he knew we would love you and care for you and we always will.  God has known you since the beginning of time and He has a plan for your life.  remember that you are His child and you are loved with an everlasting love.  He wants to bless you and for you to have a happy life" BPDd-13 replied "ok. I will remember"  we said our good byes


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: peaceplease on October 29, 2010, 01:45:51 PM

Thanks again for sharing the journey.  What an uplift! :)


Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: qcarolr on October 29, 2010, 11:41:42 PM
lvj - thanks for sharing your journey with d14 with us. Your story creates a sense of hopefulness about the possibilities for our kids and ourselves. How do you remember all this detail?

qcr |iiii  

Title: Re: 5th month at the rtc
Post by: lbjnltx on October 30, 2010, 07:25:31 PM
 I take notes during our family therapy session...the off campus visit isn't very detailed...just hit the high notes and a few not so high...

thanks for reading and replying

 to you and gd