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Ok, so tonight I was enjoying a relaxing evening at home when my door bell rang. I go to the door and standing there is my exBPDgf and my ex-friend wanting to return...get this...Christmas tree ornaments that belonged to me! I know that I did not handle myself very well, because the first thing I told them to do was "F off". Then my ex tells me that these ornaments are mine and some of them are from when I was younger. I asked her why she didn't just send then to me, or have someone else drop them off. They just smiled at each other and walked off hand in hand. Ok...I'm not gonna lie, it took everything in my power not to kill both of them. How dare those two show up at my door. After what they did, and how they behaved, the gall to show their faces is mind blowing. Why would my ex want to come to my house if she is so afraid of me. Remember I am an abuser right. Holy crap. This really p*sses me off! If they wanted to tick me off, well they did a fantastic job of it. If there is a next time, I will lose it for sure. God help me.

WOW!  Now that is some nerve.  I say get a super soaker and stick it through a mail slot or crack a window!  LOLOLOL.  If they have important property, wait for them to leave it first.  :)

Maybe it will make you feel a little better knowing that you are the topic of their conversations.  Obviously your ex is still obsessing over you. 

What tools.

Look at it this way. Your ex friend just got into a car with "Toonces The Driving Cat"! He who laughs last...

What really gets me is that I was feeling pretty ok for the first time in a long time. Then those tools have to pull that ___ on me. It's like they just came by to rub it in my face. Its not bad enough that my ex and ex-friend lied to my face about their relationship. They made my breakup with my ex a living hell, and now they have to show up at my door to return ornaments and rub it in my face? Who the hell does that?  I am so livid! Sometimes I wish I did not have a conscience, because I would love to give them back some of their poison. Again...WHO THE HELL DOES THAT?

Wow, that is amazingly sick.  Pretty sad when you have to knock on an ex's door to get your skeevy drama kicks.  

Step back and take a good look at it, GOI.  Two malicious people looking to get their rocks off at someone else's expense.  You're lucky to have them out of your life.  

As for them?  Set the timer.  Tick tock...if they have to do this for a bit of enjoyment on a Friday night, things are looking a bit pathetic there.  

Do not play into their game.  Move on, walk away, get out and have some fun.  There are billions of other girls out there.  Think about it.  Billions.  And here's this pi$$ ant of a woman and her creep bf bothering you.  If anything this should be your cue that it's time to find a new life and put the past firmly behind.  

 to the highlighted! 

Gettingoverit.. Nothing.. i repeat NOTHING surprises me anymore with these folks...

You have had the last laugh my brother, your friend is getting a bunch of crazy for Christmas  snowman+=

Remember Idealise - Devalue - Discard... rinse lather reapeat...

 

GOI,

It just rings as super immature to me.  How old are they?  Seriously, a couple of junior high kids trying to get a kick!  Your ex friend doesn't sound like he's playing with a full deck either! I would just feel sorry for them, a couple of petty, pititful people. Try not to give them the satifsfaction of getting angry.

My .02.

Munchxo

I know it's incredibly immature...but hurtful non the less. As for age, my ex is almost 38, and my ex-friend is 49. And yes after all that has happened, I don't know who is worse off...my ex for hooking up with someone who clearly has issues and a Hero complex, or my ex-friend for hooking up with my xBPDgf?  If and when their relationship fails, I am sure since both of them are a nutjobs, the breakup will be epic. God I hope that what goes around comes around.

That is truly unbelievable! I thought they couldn't have been more than early twenties OMG. I know it hurts GOI, but somehow the term  "hero" doesn't come to mind.  They are pathetic - the both of them.   

Munchxo 

This insensitive behavior will eventually be directed at the new bf. He is also being triangulated and is too blind to see that her need to mess with you like this belies her need to keep connected to you in a very unhealthy way.  Smells like BPD to me. Be glad you are out of this, be very glad.

Ditto this!

I'm just still amazed by this in a "watching a trainwreck" sort of way.  

Think about it GOI:

"What do you want to do tonight, dear?" 

"Hm.  I dunno.  Wanna go to a movie?  There's lots out there." 

"Meh"

"How 'bout dinner?"

"Meh"

"Ok.  Well, we could go shopping, look at Christimas lites, visit "friends" or family, get a movie in...you know, the pleasant, enjoyable things "normal" people do".

"Meh.  Nah...I don't want to do any of that.  I want to go mess with someone, create some drama, and get some petty jollies at the expense of someone I effed over and haven't had anything to do with in months.  I have an icky feeling he's getting over what we did to him and I don't want that because then we're not on top anymore.  And really...without that sort of adrenalin pump, a bit of drama...what do we really have?"

I've seen this knd of thing before.  I call it "ego masturbation".  And as petty, ugly and hurtful as it is, it really is revealing, isn't it, as to what kind of people they are.  Like you said.  "Who does this?" 

Not normal, stable, decent people. 

Stay strong, GOI.  You were momentarily thrown, but if you want to drive them nuts, maintain NC.  Maintain the upward trajectory.  Eyes forward, move along.  

getting over it, that is simply pitiful behavior, truly pitiful.  It's a difficult enough time of year as it is! (probably a motivating factor in the timing of this pathetic display).  My heart goes out to you, focus on how messed up it is and how fortunate you are to be rid of this person.

And as for how you handled yourself?...you are only human!  I'm so glad you managed to get an "F off" in before the nonsense started  |iiii    

GettingOverIt,

Hey man sorry for the drama, especially when you were chilling out and feeling good, I hate the draw back into the feeling like its step one all over again.. but be good to yourself you haven't relapsed, you experienced a trigger to betrayal trauma...

She came over to mess with you because she isn't feeling at peace inside, its in their effed up nature to continue to cause trauma/drama to fill their own lacking ego..transmute their turmoil onto someone else...

I give you props brother for your restraints... stay strong...go grab a massage...go beat the ___ out of a punching bag...make a 100 post threads, Ill read everyone..anything constructive to get it out...really have empathy for you bro..

 

MM

Not at all! You get an A+ for not just going gangster on their sorry provoking ___ses.

yes. remember that. sit there with a   little grin and know what they both have coming to them.

i don't always like to encourage that sort of thing, but we all know how true it is. they'll get exactly what they asked for. your friend might even come crawling back.

but yeah, i cannot see any other reason for the appearance or the behavior other than to piss you off. i think that was obvious in how they answered when you asked why she couldn't just send it.

dont give them that power. devilish grin. you will have the last laugh.

it is pretty damn nerve wracking. i think you handled yourself just fine.

You hit the nail on the head Mystic!  Even for a pwBPD, I find this behavior totally pathetic.     As I said before HIGH SCHOOL BULLIES!

GOI,  be happy you are not them  :)

Munchxo

I'm sorry.  You didn't deserve that.  I am just more and more amazed by people and the things they do and say each day.

Thanks guys for all your support. I am still coming around from that encounter on Friday. I swear to god that if they come by again I will be calling the police right away (rather than me going ape ___ crazy on them and going to jail myself  ) I guess what still bothers me is why they felt the need to come by. Didn't they already win?   Why come and rub it in my face? It just seems so mean and petty. The thing that bothers me the most is that they will then tell people that they were just trying to be nice and return something that belongs to me. That's the angle they will play this messed up game. Is it wrong for me to wish bad things on them?

Yeah, your ex-friend (barring mental illness of his own?  don't know the story) will come groveling back to you when he realizes that whole fiasco was about her obsessing over you, and not really about the pair of them taking the piss for fun.  She is essentially devaluing two people at once.  What talent!

It doesn't matter what other people think, what matters is what you KNOW to be the truth for your own peace.  Those who care about you and are true friends will be there to support you.  

Whether you wish bad things for them or not...them acting in this way just proves what a sad existence they are living now.  Be glad you are on the periphery of it and not having to deal with this immature toxicity on a daily basis.

The only way to "win" is not to play  |iiii

I know exactly what you're feeling, but I have to ask why it makes you so angry?  This should make you laugh!  You need to feel good about not being a part of that relationship anymore, and how important you are to both of them that they'd go to such pains to want to be a part of your thoughts.

They wanted to make you crazy with rage.  Don't forget, the best thing for you is not NOT EVER let them smell fear, anger or any emotion they can use to get you!

Hugs!  Find a nice girl!

Take the stuffs and throw them to the trash.

Both wild fires and BPD have taught me that all material possessions are replaceable.  I've lost much due to both, and the material possessions are the least of it.  Christmas decorations are mementos which can be replaced.  My ex placed a lot of emphasis on trinkets like those. 

If she shows up at your door again with a BS premise like that, and I experienced that a lot with my exgf-- she was constantly using crap possessions left behind as an excuse to make contact, just tell her exactly that--"Everything in life is replaceable, including you."  Calmly shut the door and go back to watching football in peace.

Well said, brother  |iiii

Hi,

Sadly its a game ... in many ways she just convinced herself again it all was you. All your fault ... your actions caused it all not hers. She twisted the sick action and made it all against you.

Insanse it is ... I know ... sadly from experience first hand ... just as sick. turning up somewhere she knew I would be ... where she knew several people she falsely accused of some serious stuff ... friends of mine ... and whilst I didn't play the game and knew it for what it was ... a cruel game ... my friends were baited and baited time and again and drama ensured.

The emotional vampires someone with BPD is ... doesn't matter whethers its negative or positive ... as long as they are the centre of attention is all that matters.

Sick ... and I know very sick turning up at your doorstep to torment you ... sadly its BPD in full flight. Turning up with her new toy ... guaranteed to provoke you and upset you ... again mission accomplished. They are very sick people and after a long journey to recovery and with a lot of help I came to a conclusion.

Simply put the BPD person just does not understand how other people actually have feelings and how they would feel if someone turned up with the new toy on your doorstep. Its only ever about them ...

How idiotic and cruel to return ... in person ... any item. Why not mail it ? Leave it on the porch ... why with her new toy ? Sadly a game ... she told herself in her twisted and sick mind it was doing something good when reality and looking at it clinically she wanted her emotional fix ... and she got it.

I once after being tormented and tortured via her breaching NC sent a very stern no contact email. Said I would go to the police after 5 or more breaches on her part and her turning up on my doorstep at midnight to scream and threaten me ... all she did was take the polite but firm email and wave it around and say it was me. Didn't mention she had turned up at my place ... threatned me several times ... broken my property ect ect.

Sorry but its just the twisted BPD working. It stings and sucks ... as to the story she told her new toy I dont know but only an idiot would go with her on the errand she just did .


So sorry for your pain !  snowman+=

GOI, next time she pulls a stunt like that, I suggest you answer the door dressed as this dude and sing this song to them both:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-eslNwGXrI

It will really hit home that you don't give a sh!t  lol

You're right GOI they probably will...who cares, noone knows the real story so don't worry about it. They would twist any scenerio to fit their story.  :)on't answer the door if they come by again. Don't call the police cause they could probably end up painting you as the perpetrator.  :)on't answer the door and if they persist then call the cops as long as they are on the other side of the door.


Well said Newton! You CANNOT control the words and/or actions of other people PERIOD.

Munchxo

...and you thought you would never hear from her again.

take this as an early christmas present. she just reminded you how sick she is, and how better off you are.

Lol! Just found out one of the reasons why both of them had to come to the front door is because they wanted to show a united front. That they were together, and that I would never break them up...uhhhhhhh...ok? WTH? Seriously I think they truly deserve each other. Both complete nutjobs!