BPDFamily.com

There was an article in the paper about a guy who shot his wife. They said he was not mentally I'll, but had a personality disorder. Isn't BPD a mental illness? Wow... .the media can really send the wrong message. As if our pwBPD can help how they are!

Incompetence!  Can't believe everything you read can you?

this is a really interesting thing. I think there is a lot of learned confusion about BPD. We can see it clearly... .but then here within our community the manifestations of the disorder are so different... .we can understand this difference and can accept that it is all BPD, but I think that most psychologists only see a few cases, only read of a few and are therefore unable to grasp the complexity of the situation - as we do. We have children, adolescents, young adults and older adults. All BPD and all different.

A guy here in Aust appealed against his murder sentence saying he had a mental illness, BPD, and so his sentence was too harsh because it didn't take this into account. Fortunately his argument didn't work - he is one nasty guy - mid 40s.

I believe that our universal insurance won't allow the subsidised visits to a T for BPD - so they get diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD and treated that way... .

I heard that the psychs working on the DSM 5 are having trouble agreeing with the new criteria for BPD... .but I read today that 'hoarding' is now recognised as a mental illness in it's own right (as distinct from a symptom of OCD)! And also that mental illness in our society is ever increasing... .

I think we are being undone by people who have philosophical postions regarding BPD. I would like to invite them to participate on the boards here for a short while!

Vivek    

I completed NAMI's Family to Family program several months ago.  This is an excellent program in which to learn about the more common "mental illnesses", i.e. bi-polar, schizophrenia, schizo-affective disorder, depression, anxiety, paranoia, etc.  However, I was the only person in a group of 20 with a BPD family member. When we had mental health professionals as guest speakers, and I would ask questions about BPD, they would just say something along the lines of... .  "Oh that is really difficult.  Personality disorders deal with that part of a person that actually MAKES them WHO they are, although BPD is usually accompanied by associated disorders like anxiety, depression, schizo-affective traits, etc. which are more readily treatable.  Behavior modification MIGHT be the only treatment available."   ?

That was it.  They had little else to recommend and seemed uncomfortable discussing BPD. Perhaps they did not feel qualified to do so, I am not sure.  I got the message loud and clear that BPD IS unique... .  it is very difficult to diagnose, very difficult to live with, and even more difficult to treat.   It is separate from other mental illnesses but is often combined WITH them, and the boundaries between them constantly blur.

NAMI helped me to understand the associated illnesses that often accompany BPD, but finding your website has been a Godsend.  These two resources have helped me so much.  I have read extensively, and sharing the real-life experiences of other BPD family members is very reassuring.  We are not crazy! We are dealing with a very serious, extremely frustrating illness in a loved one.  It affects not only the BPD sufferer but anyone who shares their life, regardless of whether the relationship is as an intimate soulmate or casual acquaintance.   

Thanks for being here.

Mamamia

We also took Family to Family a couple of years ago and found it a very good course.  But we were the only couple with a BPD ds.  Still it was so helpful.

Just last week we started Family Connections which is a course modeled after Family To Family but only for families of a pwBPD.

There are about 15 in our group and all seem to have very successful and high functioning pwBPD.  Some mentioned that their pwBPD hadn't had an incidence in years.  They are happily married, or getting advanced degrees etc... There is just one other couple in the group who have a 19ds who is struggling with everything.

We are going to finish the course because it is for us not our ds but I do wish we had more in common with the others in the group.

Dh and I took the Family Connections course this past spring.

There were about 10 couples and a few single people in the group.  There was another FC group meeting about the same time.  This tells you something about the great need for learning groups such as this.

Most participants were parents of daughters, one had a son, another was there because his wife had BPD.  They seemed to run a gamut from high functioning to low functioning.  Some of the stories were so sad, some much worse than our situation, more fraught with drama and upheaval.

I'm glad we took the course.  It was helpful, as was the camaraderie, but this forum has really helped me much more.  The course presents you with basic definition and strategies for dealing with everything.  Here, in this forum, we can get a better grasp on formulating our approaches to our BPD loved ones, practice dialogue, brainstorm, commiserate.  Repetition of these things we need to learn really does help.  It helps me a lot because sometimes I need to hear things over and again before they sink in and I really get it.