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Title: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: me757 on April 30, 2013, 07:13:28 PM I don't get it... . her and I broke up 5 months ago and I know I don't want her or will have any kind of healthy relationship with her. Yet I can't stop thinking about her. It's like I'm addicted to her and the drama. I'm drawn to the rush of having these post break up arguments too. Maybe its the urge to get closure even though that probably isn't possible. I was thinking if she broke up with the guy after me I would get closure... . instead she got engaged to him within 4 months of dating/us being broke up.
I finally initiated NC for the first time a few days ago after she posted a picture of her and the guy on facebook and messaged me acting like nothing was wrong. This comes after 5 months of triangulating (read definition) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0)/making out with me even while she has been engaged the last month... . which I am not proud of. Whats awful is that I've seen this other side of her and it should be all the closure I need yet it isn't. It has left me with the only option I have left and its what I should have done from the beginning - NC. I don't think there is any other source of closure honestly. Title: Re: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: turtle on April 30, 2013, 07:15:45 PM This comes after 5 months of triangulating (read definition) (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0)/making out with me even while she has been engaged the last month... . which I am not proud of. Whats awful is that I've seen this other side of her and it should be all the closure I need yet it isn't. Why ISN'T this the closure you need? She's shown you her true colors... . what argument do you have with that? turtle Title: Re: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: me757 on April 30, 2013, 07:41:56 PM I know. It should be all the closure I need. I don't know why I want her current relationship to end so bad. Bruised ego probably.
Title: Re: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: turtle on April 30, 2013, 07:48:49 PM Well... . drug addiction can make your teeth fall out, cause sores on your skin, cause organ failure, major destruction, and ultimately... . death. Yet, people keep doing whatever drug it is that's killing them. It's a lot like that. I was addicted to my ex. I get it. Now though... . ELEVEN years later... . I WISH I had back all the time and money I devoted to pure destruction.
Even so... . we can't hurry the process. "Closure" is overrated. Right now... . what would "closure" look like for you? Chances are, "closure" doesn't exist and it won't exist until you are ready. Then... . closure is what YOU decide is best for you and it has little, or nothing to do with her. turtle Title: Re: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: me757 on April 30, 2013, 08:00:06 PM Yeah, I think by still being in contact with her I couldn't detach. I know that if I can stay NC there will be a day when I'll want all this time back.
Title: Re: Addicted to drama because lack of closure? Post by: turtle on April 30, 2013, 08:18:29 PM Yeah, I think by still being in contact with her I couldn't detach. I know that if I can stay NC there will be a day when I'll want all this time back. Even better... . there will be a day where you say "I'm done with that destruction. I wish her peace, but that has nothing to do with me." Period... . no regrets. turtle |