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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Zack on May 01, 2013, 06:08:15 AM



Title: Will the ex be the same with her new lover?
Post by: Zack on May 01, 2013, 06:08:15 AM
Hi Family

I once read this topic on one of the boards here but I can no longer find IT.

My question is 'will my ex fiancee treat her new lover the way she treated me (i.e) the lies, the deception, the push/pull, the projection' or was I just a trigger for all of these traits? She has been seeing her new 'friend' for a year and a half now... .  I'm thinking she perhaps doesn't treat him badly.

I know I shouldn't care but we still do have low contact with each other.

My ex had no family and only a hand full of friends and so it was impossible for me to find out about her past relationships... .  I couldn't rely on what she told me about them.

Zack



Title: Re: Will the ex be the same with her new lover?
Post by: slimmiller on May 01, 2013, 06:41:00 AM
I dont know the answer to your question but would venture to bet she will do the exact same thing. They only change the name and faces of those they have relationships with.

My expereince and observation with mine is that with in a few month she was doing the exact same push pull thing. the lying, the picking fights, the questions (to him) what happens if another girl likes you, you should do what makes you happy, promise me that so and so wont get in between us... .  

It was the exact same dance with him as with me. She then dumped him but stayed 'friends' with him long enough to hook up with his best friend. Yet dating friends according to her is disgusting

Unless yours sought out counseling and self improvement on her own with no one pushing her to it, probably very little changed. To them its always the 'other' person to blame but in reality thats all just projecting


Title: Re: Will the ex be the same with her new lover?
Post by: Vindi on May 01, 2013, 07:41:52 AM
 i betcha she will do the same things, treat him the same way... .  yes, they may be together still, but maybe this guy puts up with it, he is like many others, accepting of the behavior.

I know this cuz i have talked to my current BPD bf, tt his ex and alot of the things that happend with her happened with me... .  and yes, I too put up with alot!