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Upon reading this thread, "I specifically remember one time when she screamed at me so much and so long that I doubled over into a ball on the floor. Then she stood over me and screamed louder and louder until I mercifully almost passed out. To this day when I talk about it, she has no recall of this. It kind of sucks that the worst thing that's ever happened to me is something she can't remember and doesn't have the ability to apologize for."

Can't help but see the simularites between them and the HULK?  Anyone else?  Or is it just me?

I always thought of them as werewolves. They see a trigger, and they just morph. But yes, Hulk is also a good analogy. Lots of people compare them to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde also... .

Don't remember Mr Hyde ragging?  Was'nt he just kinda diabolical and sinister?  Can't really remember.

I guess the Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde analogy refers to the abrupt change from one phase to another (from loving/idealizing you to hating your guts and raging). Its really like two different people.

Ahhh... .  OK... .  So they are a conglomeration of werewolf/Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde/ HULK :)

LOL, yea when mine would rage at me, it was like a completely different, transformed person. Its insane. I hate BPD with such a passion!

I suppose the quick mood changes and selective memory afterwards is kind of like the hulk or werewolves. 

But, I think the comparisons to these creatures are mostly misplaced.  We imagine that our partners are these strong creatures with tremendous, almost supernatural, powers.  They aren't.  At the risk of dredging up an old board metaphor - they are more like the wizard in the Wizard of Oz - weak but hiding behind a facade of strength, power and noise.  Once you see behind the curtain, you realize what you are up against with BPD, and its basically a scared person. 

   

You're absolutely right. Its just hard to see a scared person underneath the rage and abusive behavior. But you're so right. That's why I never resort to hate. I do get angry, but I would never hate a pwBPD.

I can relate to how hard it is to go through something so traumatic and then have the BPD not even acknowledge it took place.  When my wife rages she seems to have no memory of the event.

A few times she has raged with text messages.  One time I printed them out in an attempt to talk to her.  Wow- that was a mistake!  She really, really , really does not want to be confronted with that side of her personality.

If memory serves, once the wizard got found out, he then proceeded to be remorseful and helped Dorothy and the gang.  In my experience, no so with pwBPD.

Like the HULK, the more you confront him the angrier he becomes.  Even when he calms down, if confronted or agitated, he transforms and rages.  Just may be my perception however.

For me it isn't helpfull to picture my stbx as some kind of munster. If I do, I get in a negative state of mind.

Therefore I rather picture her as a more cartoonesk figure, like Smeagol from LotR, or Magica De Spell from Donald Duck.

Types that try to do bad, seem to succeed but in the always fail and because of that actually are sad figures.

It's not so much the physical "monster", but more the behavior part I see.  This also kinda goes back to the past threads here at BPD Family that deal with BPD/NPD's and their looks which also confuse many of new nons and other people.  That's why we get alot of " how can someone that looks like that and is soo personable to the rest of the world act like what you are saying.  It must be you... .  Anyone else.

I've noticed this type of behavior in my husband too, it's amazing how he doesn't remember my most traumatic events in life because they were because of him. I read something about dissasociation and showed it to my husband and it turned on a light for him. They sort of go outside of themselves when things are really intense. He says he has no control over what he is doing or saying but he sees himself doing it. Then everything is just sort of a blur once he comes back to normal.

That's why it is very important to save yourself when things get that intense because they litterally aren't in there. My H has said that since he knows what's going on now and getting therapy too, he can recognize it and stop it from happening.

Something I just realized about BPDw. She does'nt disassociate easily, therefore that is why she has to constantly be in a disassociative state which she brings on with alcohol.

YES. we have joked about him being just like the HULK.

i have also been very afraid of him when he is like the hulk--but it's a common name in the house.

Alcohol deffinatly makes my husband dissacosicate too. The worst moments of my life were because he was drunk. Thankfully my husband has realized this and has stopped drinking. Alcohol has caused so much havoc in my life. Not only from my husband but my family is full of alcoholics. I've even done some really stupid things on alcohol (cut half my hair off), it brings out the worst in people in my opinion.

I hear you... .  I feel the anxiety rising in me after the 5th beer... .  just waiting for the shoe to drop.  

God bless you that he stopped