Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: roybern on June 06, 2013, 07:51:06 AM

Title: Leaving Her and the Country For Good
Post by: roybern on June 06, 2013, 07:51:06 AM
Got a job a long way away.

Applying for early retirement next week.

Not returning to the States ... . ever.

She caused financial ruin for me - foreclosure, lost savings,. etc. Bankruptcy.

My big concern now is if/when she files for divorce.

I hope she cannot afford it.

I don't want to be constantly worried about this from 10,000 miles away.

Should I put something legal in place before I go ? Remember, I am not returning (won't be able to afford to, anyway).

Would love your help. |iiii

Title: Re: Leaving Her and the Country For Good
Post by: laelle on June 06, 2013, 10:22:52 AM
I have no specialty in the financial area so advice from me would be rubish, but I wanted to show you some support and wish you well in your new life.

Starting over... . free from the FOG and the pain.  When you think of your life starting over, what kind of things come to mind that interest you?

roybern has a new life... . what will roybern do with it?


Title: Re: Leaving Her and the Country For Good
Post by: slimmiller on June 06, 2013, 10:40:39 AM
I would be a little reluctant to just leave and not at least file some kind of seperation thing with the courts. Why? Because IF you ever decide to return for any reason (family things etc) there would be some sort of legal status defineing where you stand (relationship wise). What I mean by that is, if you just jump ship and disappear, you still exist from a legal perspective. What about your 'legal identity' ? It could be taken advantage of. She could run up bills and incurr debt that could seriously hamper your future if you ever come back. Even if she just does it in her name, if you are not legally seperated, you would then still be repsonsible for half in the eyes of the law.

Just something to think about so it dont cause problems for you. Even depending on where you go, some countries could force you to become involved anyways (back home) I have heard of things like that. Anyways, I imagine you have been 'used' enough, dont let it continue for her benefit after you leave |iiii

Title: Re: Leaving Her and the Country For Good
Post by: GaGrl on June 06, 2013, 11:47:38 AM
What are your retirement benefit requirements?  Some pensions require that the pension be paid at a certain level, with the spouse receiving 50% of the pension upon death of the pensioner.  To take the higher amount, the spouse has to sign off.  Is this the case with your benefits?  Check into it before you leave benefits on the table to her advantage.