BPDFamily.com

This is a big week for me.

And a big week for my ex-BPD wife. 

Yesterday was her birthday and I didn’t contact her or feel the need to contact her.  Instead, I was at the bar with a bunch of my friends and this girl I’m seeing.  We were drinking, and I was kissing and holding my new girl all night.  My new girl calls me a stud, and “cute” all the time.  As we were walking back to her  SUV last night, she turned and looked at me and said “you know what I like about you? There are so many layers to you…”  It felt good to hear that again from a woman.

Today, my ex-BPD wife’s older brother is getting married.  I can only imagine the wave of emotions she is feeling today as she reflects on our broken marriage and remembers what it was like to walk down the aisle with me four years ago. 

Earlier this week, I envisioned myself being at that wedding.   She probably would have been insanely jealous of everything and trying to control minor details.  I would have been the playing the role of the pacifying, enabling husband, trying to say the right things to get her in a better state of mind.  Yet, she would be happy and truly in her glory around family.  I really miss that feeling – and her smile when things were well.

Her birthday one day, their wedding the next day…I can only imagine the drama.

I can imagine what she would be like on the flight home.  Now that her birthday had ended and his wedding was over…the emotional highs would gone.  Depression and more devaluation would occur.  Another sexless month in the making for me.

Last week, I had to break no contact.  She was cordial and kind on the phone.  I am in the process of possibly moving out of state and accepting a new job... . so I needed to get a few things in order.  She has some of my financial records and I needed them back.   It is a time-sensitive issue.  This was five days ago and she still hasn’t followed up with me.   It would have been rather simple for her to simply box them up and send them to me, but I imagine she’ll want to stall this process so that I have to contact her again this upcoming week.   

Either way, the next few days should be interesting.   I wonder what type of emotions I’ll be dealing with…any takers?