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Title: He is like a changeling Post by: Healing4Ever on June 23, 2013, 06:41:14 AM Each time we have contact, he drives me crazy.
He makes agreements then breaks them. He makes decisions about moving forward with our house and then lets me know. Without consulting or negotiating. (he couldn't negotiate in r/s - why am I expecting it now?) He says that he's sharing, but refuses to. The activities that we did together - he is fine with just continuing them together. Being on a soccer team (7-8 people) each week for a couple hours. Attending small groups at church together where we share our personal healing. (I don't THINK so - this is not my idea of feeling safe) He tells me that my need to not attend the same ongoing groups as him means I'm not well and I need help. He will 'tolerate" this need of mine for awhile, but I need to get over it. (by tolerate - this really means criticize me and ask to show up whenever he feels like it, then pout and sulk when I say no b/c we agreed to separate times) Twice he has undermined my walk with God. With snide comments insinuating that his walk is superior. At least all these behaviors are confirmation that I want to reduce him in my life to zero. But a painful jab as to why I put up with all of it for SOO long. And why do I keep being surprised when he does it again? My work: I see how frustrating it is for me to deal with someone who does not know himself, who accuses me of things that aren't true, who is incapable of negotiating, who says one thing and does another - and I still feel that urge to show him these unloving behaviors. Which isn't very loving of me. I am working on not defending myself, but detaching. I am working on not caring what he thinks, because I can't change it anyways. These things are SOO hard. |