BPDFamily.com

First off let me emphatically state:  I AM NOT A VICTIM!

I won't go into great details on the last 10 mos. of hell being in a relationship with a BPD'er.  My experience has practically mirrored so many folks who have told their story already.

About 10 mos. ago entered into a relationship with my girlfriend.   She told me from day one she had, "Anger issues".   Yeah, right!   Yah think?  For some reason I still fell for her hook line and sinker.   The next 10 mos. have been a living hell:  The insane jealousy, the raging, threats, name calling, accusations, hell, I'm surprised I am not responsible for the sinking of the Titanic and the extinction of dinosaurs.

A few weeks ago, after innumerable breakups and makeups (I would guess 2 - 3 a week) she let slip she has BPD.   Now, like so many others, I had no clue what the heck that was.   I immediately looked it up and had my EUREKA moment.  For 3 weeks, almost every spare moment, I studied and soaked up as much information on BPD as I could.  I ordered Stop Walking on Eggshells and read it.   My first knee jerk reaction was to break it off with her, which I did.   Well, just because I broke it off I didn't stop studying everything I could.   So, after her full court press I came to the decision I was wiser and infinitely much more intelligent than all of the good experienced people here and figured I could be the one person who could "cure" a BPD'er and we would live happily ever after.   Guess ya'll can see where that went, huh?

Day before yesterday, after a whole week of not arguing and being on the road to evermore, she dumped me like a hot rock out of the clear blue.  All kidding aside, I truly did see it coming.   Thanks to the wonderful folks here who have been through all this before I was armed this time with the knowledge to expect it.

I'm okay, yah, it hurts.   I am trying my best to separate the person from the disorder, but am having a bit of trouble with that.   I am convinced in my mind that she, and all who suffer from BPD are spawns of satan sent into this word to torment and destroy all whose life they touch.

I do not suffer from an over inflated ego, but hey, one has to be realistic.   I pray that when (not if) she becomes needy again and contacts me wanting to reconcile that I will hold true to what I know and keep running like a marathon sprinter from her.

Does any company manufacture a "BPD Detection Device"?  Is there a little wand I can wave at any woman I find mildly attractive and if it detects any trace of BPD it will deliver a high voltage shock to force me to turn the other direction and never remember her face?    Yah, didn't think so, but a guy can dream.

I would like to thank all of the wonderful and kind folks here who have taken the time to respond to my questions.   I would also like to say my prayers are with all of those who find themselves sucked into the hell of a relationship with a BPD'er.

Thankfully I am a recovering alcoholic and member of AA so I already have a support base in place to lean on during this time of hurting.