Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: radioguitarguy on July 25, 2013, 11:28:46 AM

Title: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: radioguitarguy on July 25, 2013, 11:28:46 AM
First, I just wanna say I'm feeling a bit guilty that I haven't checked into this board since mid-May because so many of you have helped me out with advice and kind words over the last couple of years.

So in our last episode I was whining that my ds 29 year old had just been fired from yet ANOTHER job. Since you last tuned in, he has gotten a job, with no help from me(major accomplishment!) by getting a newspaper motor route in our community. He's able to pay for his gas and cigs with a little left over. It seems that the key for him in keeping a job is to work alone early in the morning. The first 3 or 4 days, I got up at 3am to make sure he was awake, which he was. He told me, ":)ad, whaddya doing? I may have alot of issues, but getting up for work has never been one of them. So relax, I'm good."

I'm almost afraid to post the fact that I haven't seen him this happy in many many months. I don't want to jinx anything. He has a sense of worth, he's positive and upbeat. Sure, he has his bad days but he's able to talk about those "bad days" and they don't include raging or punching holes in the wall. He's taking responsibility around the house by mowing the lawn, etc. I'm cautiously optimistic because I haven't seen him this positive for this long... . ever. Yes, he's still sleeping on our downstairs couch and hates it, but he knows the next bed he sleeps will have to be in his own place. When I do help him out now and then, he makes sure to let me know how much he appreciates it.

Here's a recent post he put up on my FB page... . " Sometimes I wonder how iv been able to summon the strength to get past some of the hit iv been through, and further more still be able to put a smile on my face and entertain others... . and I realize now I get it from my two KICK ass parents . love you amazing Geezers!

And yet another... . "My dad and I have a special kind of relationship . Our texts often contain lots of love and respect for one another.

To: Pops

Thanks again chief I really got a special kind of dad when he comes through for me even at 4 o'clock in the morning one day I'll be able to thank you ... .

that got way too emotional so... . your a duche bag!

A quick message to "cfh"... . thank you for the e-mail about "Samaritan Village"... . I've done a ton of research and this place is the real deal! Thanks for the heads up.

I hope this post gives a ray of hope and encouragement to my "bdfamily" friends. Thank you all again for being there.


Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: BioAdoptMom3 on July 25, 2013, 11:57:32 AM
That is the most awesome and uplifting news  :)!  Your DS is doing so well and I know it does your heart good!  It sounds like you are doing a great job encouraging him too!  Yes, you are right.  This post gives me and I am sure the others here as well, great hope for our children!  Thank you for sharing!

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: TopsyTurvy on July 25, 2013, 12:01:07 PM
Wow, it must feel great to witness your son's progress! Thanks for sharing that. It's uplifting.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: heronbird on July 25, 2013, 03:05:01 PM
I think you must be feeling as if this is the real him, you are seeing his true self, would you say? its amazing and so touching to see isnt it.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: griz on July 25, 2013, 04:01:53 PM
WOW  I am so happy for both you and your son.  Thank you for giving us the update and HOPE>


Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: jellibeans on July 25, 2013, 04:03:09 PM

I remember your posts... . thank you for the update... . I think it is important for all of us to remember that there will be bad times but there is also the good... . I think this is key for pwBPD... . having a job or some kind of interest that give them the self esteem and confidence they lack. So good you hear you ds is doing so well. Thank you for sharing.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: pessim-optimist on July 25, 2013, 08:36:27 PM
Thank you for the update RGG!

|iiii That's great news!

Would you mind sharing what brought this change about? Or at least how it came about?

I think readers might benefit from it if we are able to observe some important detail that might "click" with some of our kids... .

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: Rapt Reader on July 25, 2013, 08:54:22 PM
Your good news is wonderful, radioguitarguy!  |iiii

Success stories are always appreciated around here! I can see the joy in your heart and yours son's life, right in your post... . I'm so happy for your family!

Like pessim-optimist says, if you can give us all some idea of the things that have brought this change in him to light, it would be really helpful to those of us who are cheering on our own kids. Is your son in therapy? Doing something different than before? Have you done something different as a parent? I'm so thrilled with his progress and your happiness... . Can you share with us how/when it all happened? I bet you have a great success story in you, just waiting to be told 

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: cfh on August 21, 2013, 07:08:44 PM

I've been off the board for a while because we moved and that took lot of our energy.  My ds30 has been at Samaritan Village since March.

It's about as bare bones as they come. He has been in so many high end places over the years (and we have gone broke). 

Honestly, he is getting the same level of therapeutic care at SV as he did at all the other places. And it doesn't cost us a penny.

We see amazing changes.

He gets day passes where he goes out with a "higher level" person and I really can't believe the change in him.

Is it his age, maturity, SV, learning skills through programs they offer... . I don't know but he's made remarkable progress.

Of course we worry about the future and we worry if he will ever be able to live independently (we don't think so).

But who knows?  He continues to surprise us.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: qcarolr on August 22, 2013, 12:48:39 PM
cfh - so good to hear from you , and that things are working in a positive direction. I think of you and your S often.


Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: vivekananda on August 23, 2013, 08:09:52 PM
aw shucks rgg! so good to hear from you and such good news too.

I hope it grows from strength to strength for all of you,



Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: peaceplease on August 23, 2013, 09:21:40 PM
RGG - What brought the changes in your ds?

cfh - Great to hear that your ds is doing good.  He is in NY?

I do not keep up with this board as much as I would like.  And, I don't post much, as it is such a pain to type on either of my computers.  My laptop is the worst, and my desktop needs to be replaced, too.

Although, I managed to come here and cry after dd having a meltdown.

Love my BPD family.  And, I love to read such happy posts.  Thank you.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: cfh on August 24, 2013, 09:03:50 PM
peaceplease... . yes my ds is in NY.  He is in a therapeutic community in the Bronx.

Still doing well especially since they have cut out most of his meds.  At one point different pdoc's had him on 13 meds at one time!

Now he is down to two.  A mood stabilizer and an antipsychoctic.

His no longer doped up so he can think more clearly. We still take it one day at a time.

Title: Re: Too Good To Be True?
Post by: Reality on August 24, 2013, 09:14:00 PM
cfh and radioguitarguy,

Such good news for you and your sons.

Very interesting, cfh, about your son being taken off most meds and improvement he is making. 

It is good to hear from you both.