BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: DesertChild on September 22, 2013, 12:35:48 PM



Title: Finding Assertive...
Post by: DesertChild on September 22, 2013, 12:35:48 PM
If my pwBPD was aggressive. And my Dad with coD was rolling over. Then assertive is in the middle.

But sometimes you need to back off from danger and from certain situations, right? And the level of assertive changes on the situation.

Parents that are good typically teach this middle ground--I've seen it. But I still don't know what it looks like and how to use it in what situations. (Being so new to boundaries.)

My therapist is working with me on it, but I have a black and white situation while fighting for grays.

Is it practice finding that middle ground and finding the assertive in the situation, or is there a way to know when you have that middle ground?

I'm more interested in theory of if this is more a personal thing where you need to blunder a few times to get it, or if there is a solid way with solid steps to work towards middle... .such as a checklist to understand which mix is correct for the situation.

My therapist is working on individual situations, so may I request theory talk here? Maybe from someone whose gone through assertiveness training?