BPDFamily.com

Just had a telling flashback.  I went on a cruise with my borderline ex, supposedly a romantic trip to the Caribbean we were both looking forward to, but in reality was continuous fighting, to the point she kicked me out of the cabin and was being 100% caustic, no resolution to anything as usual, so I spent the better part of the week avoiding her on a cruise ship.  Wasn't too hard with 3500 people on board, but I was lonely as hell and the whole thing felt like incarceration.  I made the best of it, met a lot of people, won some money in the casino.

Finally the day came we finally got to get off the damn boat, I hadn't seen or spoken to her for 3 or 4 days at this point, but we shared a rental car to get to the port, so there had to be a reunion of sorts; I was pissed off enough to strand her 300 miles from home, but my better judgement talked me out of it, didn't want regrets or guilt later.  I changed plans and decided to fly out of an airport that was close, so we ended up spending 20 minutes together in the car, barely spoke, no eye contact.  As I got to the airport and was leaving her with the car to drive home, I told her I loved her and she said "I'm sorry you're not having a good time right now".  Unbelievable!  I didn't know about BPD yet, but having learned, what a complete and total shirking of responsibility, per usual, and why the hell did I stay so long again?  Just made that connection, one of those aha moments we get as we detach.

What were your partner's parting words?  Were they telling?

I'll always love you, you'll always have a little piece of my heart, you were my first love... .

You know I'll pay you back the money... .

I'll send you flowers every day on our "getting together" anniversary, like I did on day 1.

Crap, crap and more crap!

You,I will always love you --this sentence is programed in their bios, like the karma thing or any behaviors they have!

Sometime it feels like an experimental,genetically modified virus went abound!

They are similar,it's scary even similar doesn't come close when we compare them.

lol, I'm not being to paranoid here ?

Oh, the irony.

Similar story, but not. We took an amazing Caribbean vacation, had a marvelous time, he insisted he was fully committed to making it work... .things got a little hairy on the way back home due to flight delays, bad weather, missed connections... .so we were kinda tense when we landed at the airport. We drove back to our little town, and when we got to my apartment and I got out of his car, I said:

Me: okay, well, I love you. See you later.

Him: Yup!

And then he vanished. He didn't even have the decency to break up with me.

After ringing her lover, a convicted drug dealer and heavily steroid-built thug, in front of me at 1.00am to tell him "it's time", her parting words to me were... .

"You better get out of here before he gets here".

What a f@cking classic!

I'm calling the police! no I'm not joking, when i confronted her about her undiagnosed BPD

WOW. Same exact thing but she went to the police station and the police called me. I had to google the number because I couldn't believe it!  I wonder why so many of them do this. Loss of control I guess.

Every single word she ever spoke to me. All parting words. She didn't bother to have "the talk" with me until she had been in another relationship for I don't know how long. Maybe six months, a year? No clue. The fact is she was not planning to stay with me from day one and wouldn't let me end the r/s. she knew that was her job.

A long and broad conversation with the following concluding points on his side:

1) sorry he had to leave me at the difficult point of my life, but otherwise he needed to be responsible for me and be commited to me, which he couldn't do

2) everyone is at the end will get better - referring to his ex leaving him and how bad he felt, but eventually he was doing fine. Also bringing an example of a woman he slept with recently.

Both were right points. I am doing much better now and things are only getting better, and he needed to be commited in order to be with me, which he did not want.

which time?

A little background, she initiated the relationship:

At the end of round 1 discard, she tells me "My feelings and love for you were an illusion." and "There is nothing I really like about you Ironmanfalls."

She then comes back 3 months of NC  later, begging and crying for me to let her back in. I do.

At the end of round 2 discard, she tells me "Your love for me was fake." and "There is nothing I really like about you Ironmanfalls."

Note she said the same ___ing thing to me in both rounds and than twisted the first reason backwards from round 1 to round 2. A reflection of the Janus-faced entity.

Yuck.  That's harsh, I'm sorry that happened.  Mine didn't either, just another incidence of no real communication, ever really, but definitely towards the end.


If I'd acted on what I was feeling, absolutely seeing red, I'd have gone to jail, no question.  Fortunately I took the high road, and am grateful now, no regrets or guilt.

All the reasoning truth I had for getting out of this none sense ,she mirrored it to me ! She told me she ended it for so and so which were my reason ?

But I got the fuc£ out, how can you say you did? Crazy ! Bug of course I didn't reply, I had enough dealing with kids in my life  

Sorry for the misspelling,it's my BPD phone's fault !

After 8 years I got:


That's all that I got from when she said she was leaving until she left 3 1/2 months later.

Simple. To the point. She doesn't have to give an explation. The exact same words came back to me through mutual friends. Thta's what she told them too.

At the time, I thought she was a just stubborn person, albeit the most stubborn person I had met ever, she would never  budge on anything.

I knew it was pointless to try and get her to say anything else. I could tell from the tone of her voice she was convinced and wouldn't be derailed or reasoned with.

Man I'm sorry. I would lose it if I heard that.

Him:  "Please let me come make it up to you, I'll do anything for you".

Me: "No, its over move on with your life".

Him:  "How long does the paperwork take?"

Not joking, he literally swapped poles within seconds when I didn't give him the response he wanted.

It was the day I got the restraining order, he had followed me to the library where I was waiting for the formalities to be completed, hed walk past, behind me and whisper " this isint over bi***",and smile creepily at me from across the room, he must have got bored because after an hour of this, he stood up and walked towards me, I stood too, ready, I braced myself, I thought he might charge and tackle me to the ground like so many times in the past, he walked over to me, just a few metres between us, he put out his arms, his head slightly cocked to one side, making a hugging gesture, he had the expression of a hurt child, all I could do wad shake my head no.

He dropped his arms, the black shark eyes appeared again, he said " Im guna get you bit**"

He sauntered off out the door, giving me the finger as he left.

Oy.  lol

Oh - and I forgot this one:

"You don't make me feel safe anymore"

I HATED that she said that... .it broke my heart.  I swore I'd always look after her and love her, and hearing that made me feel like I'd failed  

There is an element of truth in it too, as I did find myself detaching a bit, as I was stumbling upon things that didn't add up (lies, debt letters etc).

But I never would have left her.  Ever. 

So yeah - the fact that towards the end, I wasn't 100% over-blown romantic, in your face supportive, ignoring all her dark deeds... .means that I didn't make her feel safe anymore.

I still hate myself for that.

Mine was in an email.

I finally had enough of her blaming me for everything wrong in our relationship.  I told her one of her exes contacted me and I finally had the closure I needed.  She is incapable of fully loving and no matter what I would have done this never could be fixed.  

She responded with " I don't know why you felt the need to contact all my exes but whatever"

(I did not contact all her exes)

"You betrayed me by broadcasting my life story to everyone (I inadvertently warned her new girlfriend who was my friend at the time that she goes back to exes).  I will NEVER EVER trust you again.  I am gone from your life for good"

And she's kept her word.

Last spoken words. " IT WOULD BE FUN TO F**k OTHER WOMEN! THIS IS WHY MEN CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES! " Btw we were not married. Looking back this is the only thing he has ever said to me that I know for sure he wasn't lying to me about.

By text : "YOU ARE CRAZY AND INSECURE THERE IS NO ONE ELSE AND I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU." I found out for a fact he did.

I read projection. It's the other way around.

The louder and more defensive that they are is to drown out the truth.

my w lived in deceit with me for (i now believe) seven weeks. came home from work one friday in june, announced that the marriage wasn't working for her, that "there's somebody else," insisted that, by reason of mental reservation, she didn't technically lie while doing this (although in fact she did), said "if you can't take care of her the dog is welcome where i am going", and drove off to move in with the other party.

3 months later, after going home to think about things with her family (who apparently did not make an issue of the fact that she had deceived her husband and was living in adultery), she suggests a dinner to discuss "the possibility of returning home." my heart leapt of course, but it was a sham: "i missed you and just wanted to see you." when i faced her with her deceit she pursed her lips and said "i didn't handle that well." nonetheless, she also said (in between wracking her brains thinking of all the ways i hurt her) that she "didn't know what to do," that she hadn't yet filed for divorce, that "oh no no, i'm not gay" although she left me for a woman and "it's not a fling", and that she would consider going to MC with me (while living with someone else while married to me). (also, she surely didn't tell her homewrecking friend that she was going to dinner with me to discuss leaving her, and that if she isn't gay (and i don't think she is) then she cannot really give emotionally to the person she's moved in with and who thinks that she has a relationship with my wife.)

ten days later, ripped completely in half by my desire for us to get back together and by my violation by her deceit and lack of apology for it, i sent a note whose gist was "you sordid, unappreciative swine, i'm leaving the door open a crack." she answered that she got the note but wasn't going to read it (it was an attachment), and that she was very confused. those were her last words to me, "i'm very confused." my T said, "those are the only true words she's spoken to you this summer."

so yes, telling parting words. by that time my T had put me onto BPD, and a few weeks later i arrived here. there could be little better demonstration of the lack of a core. she doesn't know what to do, she's in a same-sex relationship but isn't gay, she wants to live with a paramour while not divorcing her husband (the paramour, who was fully complicit in all this, has ... .uh ... .a strong personality and tbh may be willing to treat my w in the babied way i couldn't.) also, lack of responsibility/victim complex: "i didn't handle that well" was the most i got out of her about the infidelity. previous attempts to get her to face what she did to me resulted first in silence, than a shrug (literally, a shrug), then "i'm not proud of it!" she pities herself for deceiving her husband!

(ps - popular topic!: "Warning - while you were typing 17 new replies have been posted."

After a couple of months of myself not answering calls or texts I receive this E-mail.  Quote;

                     "I am so happy you are FINALLY letting go of me. Maybe now you can come out of the closet and embrace your true self. I am so excited you arent denying it anymore... I wish you only the best. You go boyyyyy"

I changed ALL of my contact information the very day I received it. Location shortly thereafter. Miles from nowhere.

Anyway all quiet in my life since, other than the occasional typical and yet still painful filtered information I receive about that person, which again reminds me of a life I don't want.

I now still keep this e-mail missive for times like this to remind me just where THAT one was going. Do you suppose she misunderstood my reluctance to "share"? LOL!

Can anyone say pretzel?    

"I want you to leave right now.  Don't ever call me.  Don't try to reconcile.  This is all on you.  You did this."

You know what I had done.  I had invited my friends to go sailing with me for the afternoon.  I guess she did not feel like #1.  You ask me it was a load of #2

"I met someone else. She's really good to me." (forgetting the tens of thousands of pounds I'd spent making sure he had the best education, the best holidays to all the places he wanted to see, a champagne lifestyle, supporting his family not to mention the hoops I'd jumped through bringing him to my country and the decade of my life I'd given him).

"I don't care if you live or die. Its no longer my concern."

Nice, huh?

The last actual words previous to my last lovely e-mail were by telephone;

She: I am here and I want to see you. I miss you and still love you very much.

Me: I don't think that is a good idea.

She: Why not? I think your just chicken.

Me: Chicken? As in I'm yellow?

She: Yes

Me: O.K... .CLICK!

You sound like a mans dream come true! Forget that idiot!... .clink!  

[/quote]
You sound like a mans dream come true! Forget that idiot!... .clink!  [/quote]
Oh, I am. Just not that particular man.

Sorry Oz after I choked on my tea upon reading this I just had to chortle... .THIS just cannot be topped!

"I didn't want it to end like this!"

I didn't know it was over. Didn't learn about BPD until she was gone.

Worst. Mental. Illness. Ever.

You sound like a mans dream come true! Forget that idiot!... .clink!  [/quote]
Oh, I am. Just not that particular man. [/quote]
Well said. |iiii

Last spoken words "I love you and cant wait to see you in a week"

a text 2 days later "Im sick of feeling like im being blamed for my mistakes ive made in the past,  its over"

1 day later he was in a relationship with my replacement and now 10 months later, they live together and are getting married.

What slays me is look at us. We are all capable, productive people.  We supported these people who in the end kicked us to the curb like trash. 

All I wanted was closure and now I'm an evil stalker. 

very true. it's really bitter-making.

her parting words were " I will always love you. You showed me what real love was and I wish you the best. I know you can succeed in life and I wish I could of been a part of it. I love you so much"  I then said, then why did you do XYZ to me? why did you always pull the relationship back? why did you hurt me? then she looked at me, read her stupid letter and said "You're also the person who has hurt me the most in this world. NO ONE else has hurt me more than you and whatever pain you felt, whatever pain I made you feel, you knew my history, my past, it's your fault. Not mine. You stayed.  Pretty much it after that.

I am Dizzy,

     That is what I got too.  Almost verbatim. 

When I put $1k down on her new, cheaper car (after losing about $10k on the down I made on the suv I bought her on the cusp of her affair and ending our r/s) she said, "I'll pay you back." I had to do it to get her payments lower than the suv... .which had my name on the title and loan. I know she won't. Her thing is not wanting to feel taken care of and being independent, so people won't throw it in her face later. Whatever.

Though we are still "together" in proximity, her parting words when she ended our r/s were "I'll alwaus have 'a' love for you." Again, whatever. I have several exit speeches ready in my head for the day she finally leaves the house. I might get the opportunity to state some of the content before she leaves. Depending upon how things go that day (like if she rages like the days we were moving into the house), I'll probably do the noble thing and just say goodbye as gracefully as possible, with requisite NC content. This woman I will know for the rest of my life, so I need to take the high road for the sake of our kids. Looking forward to the day when they graduate high school so I won't have to talk toand see her several times per week. That much time changes a lot of things though... .can't write the unwritable future.

"Good luck being broke, You're obviously the type of person who Is only worth the amount of money in his pocket"    This is after I lost my franchise from being depressed and having PTSD after I found out about the other 10+ guys behind my back, all while I was paying her rent for her.

Wow. Just brilliant. What a legend she turned out to be. I'd like to see this posted on the "Undecided - Staying Or Leaving" Board where Ive been told I have been too harsh on those who are still undecided and need some encouragement.

I hope you're making good progress in your healing.

Lol! Undecided board,bad of me but I sometime go there like a jehovas witness from hell to pull them here hahahaha!

"You have any cigarettes? I'm out." (with the ASPCA abused puppy eyes)

Literally the last words I ever heard from her.

And as a trivial side fact, not once (through 4 "done/over" breaks) has the word 'goodbye' ever been said. *shrug*

Haw! Dude 

Yeah. I guess I consider myself fortunate to get that, as opposed to screaming and lamps flying at my head.

Maybe next time!  :)

Mine said pretty much the same thing.notice the lack of accountability in those words.  They operate out of a script running in their heads since childhood.

Oh, I forgot the other thing she said, after several tries I finally got her to admit to her affair, "you abandoned me, it felt just like my father! Mentally I slapped my forehead... .I always knew it was this dynamic.

Three months later, she tells me she and her T had a breakthrough because she finally started openinh up about her childhood issues. So in denial... .

The last words she said were meant to hurt me, and they did, so I won't repeat them. They proved we are incompatible. They may not be the last I ever hear from her.

Do you guys realizes how much time we've put in their limited skills!

Just a thought.

Through text... .

"Leave me alone, you've done enough."

Which I responded with, "Why cant you be honest with me?" 

Haven't heard from her since.

It took me several tries via e-mail. She admitted, then said no, "but I told you I was leaving you!" It was going on before she told me and we were still living together, sleeping in the same bed for 4 months until she left.

I don't know how she did it, lying, sneaking around with him and not coming home some nights while I was at home with the kids. How do you sleep in the same bed as your husband and lie like that?

I talked to the replacement once. She poisoned him into thinking that too. "I don't appreciate you going around telling people we had an affair! It wasn't an affair!"

Dood. She was sleeping in your bed at your house, while she was still living with me, married and the kids are at home with me!

I got silence. F%cking moron.

It took me several tries until I got her to admit it was an affair. Amazing how they twist thi gs in their minfs to justify the unjustifiable.

In a nutshell, came home from work and got this out of the blue.

Ex: I love you but not in love with you, I'm going to move home to my parents.

Me: I don't understand, is there somebody else?

Ex: No, nobody else I just don't want this anymore.

Me: Ok, if that's what you want.

Ex: I would like to keep living here for the next month.

Got up at that point and went to the bar and proceeded to get hammered. Came back a couple hours later.

Me: There is absolutely no way I am living with you the next month.

Ex: I was hoping you would be able to keep this civil.

Me: I am being civil, you can move your crap out while I'm at work. I don't care how long it takes you just make sure you're not here when I come home from work.

Walked away and went upstairs. After about another hour ex comes up and sits next to me on the couch.

Me: What do you want? You think I have anything to say to you?

Ex: No.

Ex goes back downstairs, that was the last conversation we had in person. After about 3 months of no contact, got a text from her last month:

"Miss you"

And the next morning:

"Sorry, drunk"

Thank god I didn't respond. I really want nothing to do with her ever again.

Glad you got a laugh out of it. I laugh about it too, now. I should have pointed out this happened because I said no to sex, as she was drunk.  So she picks up the phone and tells her steroid-enhanced lover boy convicted drug dealer thug that "it's time".

I wasn't laughing that night as I felt the full gravity, seriousness and depravity of her illness and what she had been planning that whole month of her dysregulation. Having seen the guy when I walked in on their date one week earlier, I didn't need to be Einstein to realise that it was not safe for me to sleep in my home that night or any other night after that.

What a horrible sickness and I subjected myself to it with a recycle when I had previously gotten way scot free. I hate BPD.

Oh these were wonderful and finally I'm beginning to forget the pain I felt when he sent them.

"I'm in love and belong to someone else now"

"So you're in pain, good, because karma's a bitc& and now you are getting yours"

"Now leave me alone"

Nice, huh?

And he's engaged, two months after our divorce. So I guess I know his depth of feeling for me. ZERO.

L

'We've not really been together for a year' ( ? )

'People can't stay together because of dogs' (put the dogs down I don't care)

'Yes I've been f*****g' (raging, provoking me to hit her)

I haven't got all the money I owe you ( get it off your new victim )

Fake Crying and raging all through it, me silent so she had to say something

Thank god she's gone, phew!

Your assumptions about danger were entirely correct and well founded. I know. My situation was also about not wanting to have sex with her anymore. I actually began to feel I was exploiting her sickness and she was exploiting my affections. Sex without intimacy only lasted so long before taking on that twisted feeling for me. That feeling degenerated into the sensation of the whole relationship becoming nothing more than a "transaction". I did not sit well with that. I did not sit well with the constant overt degrading sexual blackmail and emotional abandonment on her part.

Several months after I moved her out, which by the way required a legal eviction process, she came back with with her chemically dependent boyfriend and cleaned out and damaged my home injuring my little dog whom she claimed she loved "more than anything in the world" in the process. He was kicked so hard that the kick twisted his stomach requiring risky emergency surgery which fortunately was successful to the tune of $2,000.00.

I realized at that point the situation and company was actually dangerous with the added attraction and equation of being "methedup". I shortly after leased out my home and moved to a well hidden location. She actually attempted a recycle after even that.  I changed all contact information after that attempt. I have taken extreme efforts to not be found. To be quite honest I still look over my shoulder to this day. I have come to the conclusion that all the personality disorders have the potential to be considered psychopathic in nature. ANYTHING is possible with these people.

I feel I have reason to be bitter but I also have reason to move on from all that as there is only so much precious time in this one short life. As one of my favorite authors so eloquently says, "We can't stop here, this is bat country", and, "When the going gets weird the strange... .turn pro". *)

"When you're ready to be more mature, let me know"

Quite a bold line from a woman with emotional maturity arrested at the age of five!

Not her "exact" parting words but the ones that stuck in my head was what she texted her "men" when I told her I was contacting a lawyer to see about getting a divorce -

"Imstronghere2 and I are getting divorced.  I'm datable".   



And she was as happy as I've ever seen her.  19 years married doing everything possible to make her happy and it took getting a divorce to accomplish that.   What a colossal waste of time.

My ex's last words to me were... .good luck and Godspeed.

It struck me as so odd that I burst out laughing.

I wonder if its a common trend that once you call them out on their bs their sappy good bye turns into a blame game.

In my case, my BPDex knew exactly what to say because she used the same lines on other guys in the past.

No wasting time eh? I'm dumbfounded as to how easily they move on.

There's no closure from the ex's in this thread.

Mine left after a very one-sided dispute over my 7 yr old daughter.  My ex absolutely could not stand her and showed her nothing but contempt.  My daughter was scared of this woman.  Anyway, so she moved out in the middle of the night and sent me a very heartfelt email the next morning:

"I am not angry with you.  I am thankful that you were open to try again however I realize now that this marriage is not for us.  We are better off as friends without the demanding expectations to play the role as wife and husband.  We are better off with our individual freedom to enjoy life without worries, guilt or control.  I have always enjoyed your company and I know we have had more fun times then bad times. I will give you all the time you need and will give you the space you need to consider if a friendship is a possibility for us in the future.  I don't want you to feel like I didn't appreciate what we had because I do and I always will.  I hope we can be civil to each other and respect each other for the wonderful times we have shared.   Wishing the best for both of us because we both deserve it!

Respectfully,

BPD ex"

This is her feeble attempt to let me down easy and to temporarily excuse herself from the relationship while she goes out and plays for a while.  This woman has bailed on me 6 times in just two years.  I've filed for a divorce TWICE but but backed out of it when she returned to recycle me again, claiming that we have a special bond and our love for each other is so strong, blah, blah, blah!.  I fear she'll be back to try again in a month or two.  UGH!

 

Wow!  This thread got a lot of responses and I thank everyone; the dysfunction is the worst at the end, and all of these parting words have been very helpful to me as I remember how completely off the charts crazy my time with her was, and I'm very sorry you guys had that 'experience' too.  Still stunning to me that I tolerated what I did for so long, but lost is lost, and it took leaving and finding you guys to find myself again.

no, none at all.

Babyspook,

  That is exactly how mine was only she added "we should see other people".

I knew I had been replaced.

I confronted her this time on it and she proceeded to blame me for everything. I threw it ALL out there... .BPD and that her ex contacted me and told me she is unable to fully love, whatever I did would never fix this.

She blocked me on FB, email and phone. I too, was recycled 6x in about 15 mo.

Be strong and just stay out of her way. NC even checking social media.

My ex is friends with ALL her exes except those who dumped her. Do I think she will contact me? Um this time she is pretty mad, like seething and smearing. Only difference is she hasn't filed a restraining order on me like she thretened last time.

I am just staying out of her way, out of her hair and getting the therapy I need to never attract this garbage again.

Get the poison out of your system. Don't drink the poison again.

I'm happy for you EA.

"I don't care if you live or die. Its no longer my concern"  Wow that is just... .wow.  Mine was after I told her "This is killing me. i can't do this anymore" she goes on to text me some self-help books that i promptly deleted. She then texts me " I can't stop thinking about you!"  I blocked her after that.

For two weeks, prior to going nc I was asking for the return of my stuff.  He ignored my request the entire time.  Finally, I got a "Lets meet swap what we have and wrap it up?  OK?"

Well, I never met him, he still has a bunch of my personal property.  I'm not sure what he meant by "swap" cuz I have nothing of his.  F him.  He can keep all my girly stuff for all I care.

Dear Ex returned to pack her house after doing a midnight move back to her hubi (I didn't even know they were still married). She was at my place and told me that something she had written months earlier was still true (50 reasons she loved me). Really? Maybe she did ... .she got out of my life ... .a true gift!

Last words: I love you.

Closure, I knew about BPD for many years and could not repair the marriage. He refused to work on it. He brought up," you said to me about this BPD" , which he had in past alternately admitted to and then denied. Far too late for me to even try again. 10 years. Letting go over the last years, even while detached and aware is still extremely painful.

I'm sorry MeganK. That seems the worst to me, even if you had detached a lot by that point.

"We have nothing in common"

"We don't share the same friends"

"I love you but am not in love with you"

"You will always mean something to me, I'll never forget what you have done for me, you were my 1st love"

Years ago I had a tumultuous r/s with an NPD guy. One day I confronted him with a big ball of lies he'd told me (about his secret slinking around on the side) and asked him why he lied to me, telling me I was the only one, I was his soul mate, blah, blah, blah. He became haughty and told me "I only told you what you wanted to hear. You should be grateful. Instead, you are treating me like this." Then he slammed his way out the door. When he got to the car (one of his other girlfriends car, a woman he'd told me was "just a friend" he turned around and said "the best way to forget one woman is on top of another one."

Wow.

"That's it we're done!"

That, after a 5 year relationship.  He was actively and openly pursuing a physical relationship with my replacement 4 days later.

"Get over it."

wow.  No closure.  Nothing.  The END.

Two kids, a home, a life, "we had a good six year run!" She said it like she was proud we lasted si long. She probably was.

just to follow up... .after she threatened to send the police I phoned her brother who is a very senior police officer. I had met him during her suicide attempt and he and i got on well, he never thought the attempt was my fault and seemed like a good sensible guy, Itried to explain to him that his sisters behaviour and suicide attempt might be as a result of BPD. He was sympathetic and saw that my concern was that she might still be vulnerable to trying again to kill herself. Nevertheless a day later a police women called on me and said that she wants no contact the ex, and that i could be arrested if i go near her. I never got a reply from the brother and i went in to a paranoid tailspin. I imagined i was being followed by the police and that my phone was being tracked, all of her families profiles dissapeared from facebook, i felt they were locking down against me, maybe they were a year on its hard to say. having thought long and hard I did nothing wrong I was concerned for her well being she did nearly die, i was a part of it, but not part of the family that closed ranks. Her daughter is anorexic, the grand daugter at 5 is showing signs of anorexia, the sister is very strange, a hoarder who has adopted foreign children to escape the safeguards in place in the uk, her husband i think may be a 'groomer' as he is very peculiar, i think the adopted children may be at ' risk', Her father was a spy and was suicidal after the war ( the formula she used to try and kill herself was in his handwriting, she kept it after he died 6 months before we started our relationship. The brother seems very ok but aparrantly was convinced I was the crazy one. At least I tried

Thank you for making meatballs and dinner for the kids. When are you getting out!

ME: I am not going anywhere.

Then I will call the police.

Me: For what.? Ok here. you can use my phone.

*mod*

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