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That's what I found myself saying aloud, to her, when she's not even around to hear it. I know it's me who is keeping her there, that I haven't let go of this yet. I did everything I could to keep the relationship together, and now am doing what I can to help dissolve it. I look around and think, ok, get rid of everything that reminds me of her. Like the bed. Too many memories there, get rid of it. When the new bed's here, will it just remind me it's a bed we haven't shared? She might try to come back but I'm not going to let her. Not because I hate her, because I don't, and never will. Because it's not good for either of us to continue pushing and pulling, getting nowhere, causing each other pain. I want her out of my head, but then again I don't. I don't want to be out of hers, either, but it's probably best if I am. I laughed to keep from crying when I heard myself saying it. Remembering all the damage that has been done where love was supposed to be.

That is a quote to remember!

Good post Myself.

I am in the same situation.  I went to work today.  Had a wonderful day.  Felt tired and took a nap.  upon awakening, I couldn't stop thinking about her and my replacement.  I guess it's going to be this back and forth battle for a while.  What were they doing in this honeymoon stage?  I think because tomorrow night is NYE, it's triggering these emotions.

I just can't shake it though... .God this is the one night of the year I've always hated!

  Myself. This is a very hard decision to make & to keep, but I can tell from the gathering of energy in myself to attend to other things in the aftermath of a similar choice that it's a good one. Stand by for further communication ... .

Arn, as far as I can make out, almost every NYE my ex goes with a different woman & pronounces that this is going to be a wonderful year, the best ever, b/c they found each other. But it never is.

This will go away. It takes time and if you can do CBT or DBT that will help too. I still do this but not as strongly. When I stop giving her free rent I think that means the door is closed. Once I can get that door closed I will consider it a mark in my healing. Other things help. One of my favorite unhealthy things is a particular cute young girl. One of my friends called her my therapist. I go easy on it. Drinking doesn't work either. It only helps for a few minutes and then the thoughts are back only bigger. I feel it improving but it persists. I've learned not to claim a lot of improvement because I hit setbacks. If I think I'm doing better I usually find out that I'm really just trying to rush and make it happen. Walking is proving to be one of the most beneficial activities for me.

I'm with you, myself.

I have mixed emotions about all of this. I am totally committed to this breakup 99% of the time, but there's this damn other 1% of the time that keeps dragging me back through the mud every time.

So much angst in that post myself ... .I can relate. I find myself wondering lately if he and I were put on a collision path to tear apart each others' lives and nothing else ... when we met I was in a career but baulking at intimacy ... he was in a 3-year r/s that he hated and was going nowhere ... .14 months later and we are both free ... but are we ? Or did we just set of a nuclear bomb in each others' backyards?