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Is it the sense of entitlement or something else that makes some BPDs think they don't have to work?

I have noticed that although high-functioning my ex was always underemployed.  Part-time or minimum wage type jobs was all she worked.  After having my son, she used that as a crutch for 4 years bc she wanted to be home to raise him (enmesh him is what she really did).

Now she is with someone, and if they stay, she will never have to work a day in her life.

Any thoughts? 

Arn

False sense of entitlement I think does come into it and i experienced the same. My ex had a casual job but was poor with her money. I would buy her gifts, haircuts and help with her bills just to name a few things. As she started to belittle me she told me more or less that her and her family things that I am a bum and that I don't make enough money... . The big "LOL" moment was when she backtracked and said "oh you make ok money you just spend it on dumb stuff" LOL! I spent it all on you biatch!

Yeah,

Her hited up as a football bat of a mother told me a few weeks before x mas that if I was a real man,  I would have bought her an SUV.

Really?  The newly remodeled house that she lived in for over 6 years bill free wasn't enough?

Crazy

Mine was the exact opposite, she was a workaholic, non stop, hardly a day off ever.

She would see her son in any hours she could spare and we would meet up on days off or when she stayed overnight.

Strikeforce yours sounds high functioning... . Mine was definitely a waif

Do high functioning ones tend to self harm and get suicidal?

Mine is definitely high functioning... a C Level bigwig of a big company, makes a lot of $$.  He is covered in tattoos which IMO is self harming (they are of excess and some take 5-6 hours to complete)... he also puts himself in bad situations-drinking, driving at high speeds, etc... . He will text me that he is drunk, going down the interstate at excessive speeds with a death wish (I believe this to be true as well)... .

Sounds like the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Anywhere I can find a list of comparisons between high and low functioning?

Yea I think self harm comes in all different forms not just cutting. I would consider him high functioning. He is a god where he works but Mine used to punch walls, hurt his hands. Break things that he really liked and needed. He got very good at patching walls and fixing chairs. Barely a sign of it the next day. Spackled, repainted and sparkling new by morning.  If there was a black light that showed repaired holes in walls his would show up like swiss cheese in a forensic investigation. Kind of like blood at a crime scene in those movies when they spray that chemical and turn off the lights and everyone goes Whoowww...

My ex is high functioning waif.  She hides a lot of her issues by being quiet.  She is in graduate school and is working.  Its as if she knows she has to work to take care of herself because she senses she will always be by herself.  (fear of engulfment).  She does accounting so it is repetitive.  She messed up a lot if she had to do new stuff at work.  I could see her crashing one day.  She always had a very stressed look on her face when we fought. 

Arn, I wish I knew.  My exwBPD never held down a job once she moved in with me.  ALWAYS excuses.  She went through every temp agency in this city until none of them would talk to her.  They'd get her an assignment and then she would either not show up or show up, work ONE day and never go back for any variety of BS reasons.  The bigger question for me back then should have been "WHY did I ever put up with that?".  I don't know that answer either.

Her pattern repeated itself once she moved out on her own and she remarried almost exactly one year to the day of our divorce and she STILL can't hold down a job.

But now it's HIS problem - heh-heh-heh.   

Maybe this will help you feel better about that.  I asked my exwBPD what she wanted in a relationship before she left us and she said "Loved, wanted, needed and made to feel attractive".  I asked her what she felt I did for her and she said "I make her feel attractive".  Then I asked her if I could fulfill all those things for her (and trust me, I DID do all of that for her and THEN some) what would she do for me and she said "I'd be here in the house for you and S11".   

Yeah.   She gets loved, wanted, needed and made to feel attractive and in return she "graces" us with her presence.   She wasn't joking in the slightest.

At one point I told her I'd rather be celibate and live in squalor then ever be with her.

So try not to anguish over how this new guy of hers has all this money and she won't have to work.  So what?   She will NEVER reciprocate love, compassion or emotional empathy for him.  Even if he's an over the top NPD, eventually that will wear him down.  She's an endless pit of emotional neediness and all that guy's money won't be enough.  Nothing ever is.

You'll get there.  Just takes time.

About that sense of entitlement. It takes two to tango.

Do you suppose care taking feeds the sense of entitlement?

I agree! I enabled her behavior because she played the victim so i excused her behavior and wanted to make her happy... . shame on me.

My uBPDexgf is currently unemployed, has been for over 3 months. The jobs she had before her last layoff didn’t last. And from what I understand she had issues with the people she worked with. Her last two jobs were mostly male dominated. So, you can probably guess why she got hired to begin with. But eventually someone would make her mad, or something not go her way and she would complain to her boss. Each time she would claim it is sexual in nature, or she wasn’t being treated fairly…next thing you know, unemployed.

Also, she just lost her government assistance….unemployment, etc. And when that happened, I got texts from her where apparently I didn’t care what she is going through. Hmmm, didn’t know it was my problem….possibly the new guys problem I would think.

Absolutely. 

snappafcw "I enabled her behavior because she played the victim so i excused her behavior and wanted to make her happy... . shame on me."

Me too to the N-th degree.  I should win "Putz of the Millennium" award.  Damn hard looking in the mirror when I think of it.