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Well, speak of the  

Came back from my 1:30 meeting to an email from my ex. Scared the bejesus out of me to be honest.

Went to read it and it was an email forwarded from her hotmail account. It was from 1/23/13... . not even today's date a year ago.

All is said was, "?"

I ignored it.

Ten minutes later another email came through saying she was sorry but to disregard the last email, she hadn't read the date on it and looked like her email dumped some old emails her way.

What the heck does that mean? And that doesn't happen. Anyway she ended it with, "my apologies".

Here's the thing... . she sent this to my WORK email from the account she deactivated in November. I know it was deactivated because when we last emailed I tried to get in the last word and it was deactivated and my email bounced back.

So this is telling me a few things... .

1) She is fishing to see if I will respond.

2) She is letting me know this email address is NOT deactivated anymore.

Her last words to me were that I betrayed her and I would never hear from her again. If I accidentally sent an email I wouldn't have sent another one, even to say "My apologies".

This girl is NOT biting. I didn't respond to either email.

That's awesome that you are not biting, or even thinking about it from what you write. I'd say your assessment of what she is doing is spot on.

My favorite part was the "yikes, disregard" part. Like oh, if you thought I was getting your "hopes up" I'm not, just checking to see if I still can get a rise out of you.



This morning I got a blank email in my private email account. It was weird and I immediately thought of her. I thought maybe she was looking to see if my email address was active.  I didn't think much about it after that but seeing the new emails jarred me.

When she deactivated FB, her email and changed her phone number it made me feel like a frickin stalker. I also found it immature being I have five other ways to contact her if I was really interested in doing so. I just stopped contact. I'm not chasing or persuing anyone who treats me like crap. I can only assume her replacement isn't working or she wants to triangulate me with someone.

I am sure I will hear from her before Valentine's Day. Can't wait (being sarcastic).

|iiii    In the past, I would have jumped at the chance to talk with her again. That was part of the game we were playing, and as ___ed up as it was, I was getting pretty good at it. I don't go for the kind of bait she uses anymore, and there's nothing she can catch here but silence if she tries.

There are no accidents with them, it's good you see through it. Stay strong and don't go backwards.

I got a weird email from my exBPDgf once... and she kept desperately trying to contact me... kept saying she had "great news"... after 3 days of it I bit... and what was the great news?

Her: Guess what... I don't have Herpes... . and (my replacement)... is so glad... I thought you would want to know you have nothing to worry about.

THAT is the kind of accidental/good news... ridiculous emails you can get.

I shouldn't take glee in her problems but (my replacement)... gave her an STD!

So... what I learned was... . stay strong, those dorky emails have an intent to either lure you back or hurt you. Neither is good. Stay strong.

I think a lot of us will be hurting on VT day, not that I ever put much thought into the holiday (she usually caused drama). She'll be making sweet, hot love with her boy toy, I'm sure. Probably going off how much I held her back over the last years and she was neglected and how great it is now.

Before the discard. I think he might be one of the Casanova, possibly BPD types. That would serve her right. As long as she keeps it away from the kids, that's her problem. (sorry for the slight hijack).

Myself,

 I won't lie... . my heart did race a bit.  I never thought I would get a word from her that is how bad it ended but this also proves to me she is BPD. It's a pattern... . she always eventually reaches out and it's via email.

The irony is this... . the email she sent was between our work email addresses and she sent it from her personal account to me... . like it was copied into an email and sent to that account. That is weird and that is what leads me to believe it was a re-engagement attempt.

I am a slueth when it comes to this stuff.

It wasn't even an important email. It was about her bringing me chicken soup when I was sick. She was just looking to get a response.

PW, my X finally tried contacting me this past weekend too.  Missed call Friday night and 6 missed calls yesterday afternoon.  Friday night, I was so freaked, I couldn't sleep.  Kept waking up to nightmares - serious ones.  Like from when he used to hit me.  He's been active on his dating profile all weekend so I don't know What the heck his problem is.  That fact alone gave me enough strength not to answer and/or return his calls.  I'm proud of myself and know I did the right thing, yet it set me back a bit  :'( .  I was doing pretty good too.  Healing ain't easy.

Lil Miss,

   It's a control thing. They want to know they have you even if they don't want you.  Mine has a new Match profile all flirty and ridiculous. I only knew because I saw she checked out mine. I ultimately updated my profile to say I found my match (which I did) and am taking a break.

Haven't been on the site since. I am sure that's got her curious.

Might be control.  More likely she is tiring of her current relationship or feels like she is about to get dumped.  She is searching for the next host.

Pretty women... . stay strong and dont fall for it.

indeed, i join the other's... there is no accident with them... .

in the past, when i was breaking off the r/s, my SO BPD sent me a message through messenger, pretending I was one of her friends... . said "Lisa... . did you call me today"... . back then i was not in NC so i replied saying i am not Lisa... . and she replied saying "I know"... .   so why did she pretend, at least she admited she knew... .

they are all soo similar.

Mine sent me 4 text messages last friday... first 3 were nice about she understanding me, that i need time, that she would like to talk to me... etc.etc, the 4th one says: i just watned to see you in person to tell you i am happy and moving on... . but i dont have the chance to tell you so here it is via text... .

the 4 texts were sent in a space of 4 min... typical BPD behaviour... first 3 min: i am understanding and nice, last min, go away dont want to see you again... .

i bet i will get a text or email at some point.

everytime my heart races too...   arrgghh how long will this feeling last?

Pretty,

I say trust your intuition. If it feels like your ex is fishing then she probably is. But the power is really in your hands to not respond. Not as some power trip to ignore her (although that may feel temporarily good) but to trust that your ex is mentally ill and is no good for you or anyone else for that matter unless she seeks some serious psychological help.

My ex dropped all of those sideways, passive aggressive, indirect hints but I had it up to my neck in his rejection, abandonment and abuse. They are no prize and neither is contact from them. They're mentally ill and we need to remember that.

Spell

Didnt you and I, then known as Earth Angel and now Pretty woman, discuss this very possibility multiple times? And you honestly thought she was gone. I told you she was going to reappear. I am glad so far you are not taking the bait.   Dont be surprised if she escalates the attempts.

The devils got her rod out... .

You got this Angel:)

Ironman,

Lol I know.  She shut off all communication this time and the replacement is here. I really didn't think she would attempt... .

And what a lame attempt. 

I probably could be diabolical if I wasn't a decent person. I see through her because similar things in life have crossed my mind.  I've always been a skeptic. 

This only reaffirms she is not well.  I also understand why her sister I work with is so uncomfortable.  The sister is "" normal. She didn't want to see this happen to someone she knows and works with. 

It isn't difficult ignoring the ex anymore. All I need to do is remember when I needed her and she bailed on me.  That's all it takes for me to say enough is enough.

Ironman question for you (and i dont want to distract the topic of this post)... but for how long do they reappear?

indeed, in my case i have received around 5 messages saying she will never see me again nor contact... . but then she reappears... .

for how long this dance continue?

For as long as you allow it to continue. Her behavior isn't going to change because she discarded you or is with someone else. If you read the accounts on here, the reappearances occur quite frequently, and it is usually the non who puts a stop to it by no longer participating in the recycle/re-engagement.

Growing-Wing,

  Seriously, read the accounts on here.  It is a bit terrifying. Yes, some BPD's cut cold and are never heard from again but it really depends on the person.

There is no cookie cutter simple pattern for BPD.

My ex has one friend (who has a lot of problems---suicidal gal). I will say this... .

My ex is friends with ALL exes. I thought it was a lesbian thing (because of the small community) but then I learned she recycles them (redates them over and over) and has for years!

I was left in May for "the one that got away" five years ago (her words not mine). She returned to me in July. She is still in contact with her 1st girlfriend who is with a man. She is even FB friends with that girlfriends ex who is much younger than us and lives several states away.

She needs validation and she needs to know that even though she ended it we are still there when she needs a "fix" be it relationship wise or a shoulder to cry on.

Ironman has had two recycles, I have had six.  He and I have chatted on here a lot together about our situations. If they have a "pattern" usually, once you catch on you can follow it.  If they've come back before there is always a likeliness they will return again especially if you know their backstory (have they returned to exes before). Eventually the exes catch on or meet someone and her supply is depleted. That's when they put out feelers if they don't have someone new.

Only the non (us) can control whether that return takes place or not. It takes two to recycle not one. Had I responded to my ex's email I would have been a willing participant in the game. I chose not to be.

My ex said she would NEVER speak to me again EVER. That is how she typed it. That she was GONE Forever.

One thing I learned early on... . "Never and Forever" both mean nothing to someone with BPD. They lack boundaries and impulse control. Thing is you can't wait for a recycle. You need to move forward and get stronger... . fix WHY you were attracted to someone who treated you so poorly. Obviously you too have issues or you never would have put up with them in the first place.

And I should add... . when my ex came back in July she texted me 54 times on a trip back from her ex to where we live. It was a 5hr drive and she wouldn't stop.

Again, impulsive. This is what BPD's do. Didn't matter that her last words to me were "If you ever try to contact me again I will file a restraining order on you".

It's not about us. It is what they NEED at the moment. We are just needs, our feelings have no relevence (to them).

UPDATE: I have now been unblocked on Facebook. Was on a mutual friend's page and can see her info.

This is in less than 24hrs since the "accidental" emails.

See. Patterns. Ironman, not that I doubted you but wow.

Waiting for the text to be next and then showing up on my doorstep.

now the ball is in your court... .   to block her.

Did not think of that. My thought... . wouldn't doing that show her I know she unblocked me and that be a form of engaging on my part rather than ignore it?

Just a thought.

There's that  my-issues, PM. Who cares what she thinks. She's disordered and mean. It is setting a clear boundary that you want no part of her dysfunction. Toss that cake into the trash, don't just put it back into the fridge :^)

Turk,

   She is disordered and mean. You are right. Why should I care at all?  My feeling is that I just don't feel like giving her satisfaction that I care or are concerned in any way shape or form.

Then weigh it either way. It's not a no-win situation.

If you do nothing, she may think "aha! I can get back in!"

If you block her, she may think "aha! I still mean something to her (either way)!"

And either way, she will think something. That's her.

Which is best for YOU: the way that blocks her for good (hopefully), or the way which leaves a door open for you to peek and get wrapped up in the emotions you have been letting go (and doing a very good job of, I think we all here would agree)?

You are right, Turk. Best to block. She knows I can see her comments and last thing I want to see is anything about a new girlfriend.

Pretty Woman, please block her ASAP and save yourself the drama. I'm sure if you don't block her now, she'll post some things hurtful to you and then she'll block you again if you don't respond (or if you do) and then you'll feel controlled. Just block her, what right does she have to try and hurt you again? This is a chance for you to not be passive like all her other exes. It can empower you juuuuust a little bit to do the rejecting rather than wait on her to do it, again, which she will, if you don't block her, like now. 

This is what scares the devil out of me! Pretty, I always read ur threads, and I too, think my ex has painted me black forever. How long have u been NC? Maybe I this P can put me on some BPD steroids for the next few months, huh? Hang in there, girl. U da woo-MAN!

Told you. The disorder with the accompanying behavior does not change. It is a script set in a perpetual loop. Either block her which is the best option or if not, do not look at any more of her social media. You have to do one or the other. Hang in there Pretty woman.

Wrong my friend. You have definitely not heard the last from yours. Just prepare yourself for the moment it comes. It will likely be out of the blue.

Why are u saying this Waifed? It's like we're around the campfire telling Kaiser Sose stories!

I  looked up borderline Casanova complex based  on something someone said here yesterday.  I'm pretty sure that's what's mine's got,  down to the " forbidden fruit"  Chase and the stupid nicknames/ personas  they put out as well as making themselves out to be spiritual gurus working  on themselves and being wise ( in their minds),  and borderline waifs  can be attracted to them.  yes,  the odds of a recycle attempt increase... .   seeing me several times a week might lessen that chance though.

Yep my BPD ex tried to contact me at 2 in the morn a few days ago. Just one missed call and a text to say sorry for the call, although when I woke up in the morn for work I accidently called the number (as I have deleted every trace of her) and then hung as I realised I was calling them, and then she rang me straight back! Ha no accident, so compltetly seethru- she's done exactly what she intended to tho, got me thinking about her.

At least I didn't reply after I asked who the person who rang me was ans she replied it was her, so hopefully got the message. Anyone got any advice for me? Such a cruel game to be played with my heart after I've already dealt with so much at a young age  

Hello There,

    Ignore it. But I do advise removing all info from your phone and blocking her if you can.

It's hard, it sucks. We know. 

Arn,

  Our last contact was via email where she blocked me after I told her she was incapable of love... . and I had talked to her ex.

She proceeded to accuse me of talking to all her exes which I did not do.

Our last contact was November 20th. She sent that ridiculous email two months to the exact day and then unblocked me on Facebook a day later. Now she has added more mutual friends.

I am not sure what is happening. The curious side of me finds this facinating and now that I know about BPD I am spotting signs/patterns.

I actually have a call in to my therapist that is world renowned in BPD and treating both them and nons that have been affected. I am thinking she will say to block her, I just want some advice since I am afraid my blocking her now will only perpetuate things.  I'll update once I am advised.

tahnks ironman and PW... . this helps me... . arrggh challenges

PW... are you prepared for when she "shows up" at your doorstep?

Growing Wings,

     I guess I will take it as it comes.  She has such a lack of boundaries I am sure I will see her somewhere. She knows my schedule and she knows I am planning a huge Superbowl Party for a meetup group with 800 lesbians. I can't ban her from that. If she wants to appear she will.

I have the support of my friends and the new girl I am dating. I am not worried. If she shows up at my house I will not answer the door. It's that simple. If she persists I will call the police.

This is a woman that threatened a restraining order on me last year. How dare she bully me into giving her any more of my precious time and energy.

She is a waste of space.

UPDATE: Spoke to my therapist and I blocked the ex five minutes ago. She said it sends a clear message I am not playing the game with her and if she is craving the drama she needs to find a new victim. 

I blocked her but after seeing she added about 4 mutual friends to her Facebook arsenal. Not sure what she is thinking. Don't care anymore.

She is escalating her attempts by adding those people. She may very well ask directly/indirectly those mutual friends information on you.

Ironman,

   You are correct, my friend.

The thing is this... . I plan events in my spare time for area groups. This is how I met her. She hated how I planned so much but now she sees all the friends I have that used to be hers too. We all hang out and have fun. Every 2nd Weds there is a bar by me that does $5 buckets... .

yes $1 beers! and 1/2 price appetizers. It is not uncommon for me to get 20-25 people together for a night out. So now she is out of her funk and there is no one around. No one calling her to do anything. She has one friend and I am the one who put our plans together.

I am not sure how she will react to the blocking. My therapist thinks it sends a clear message. She just is not one for any boundaries so I have no idea what to expect... . that crazy scene from "Say Anything" or she might boil a rabbit and leave it on my doorstep "Fatal Attraction" style. Who knows. Just being cautious and keeping close friends and family in the loop.

She is looking for narcissistic supply. You have literally supplied that for her in all those recycles. It takes a lot of work to get it elsewhere, so in her mind, what better and easier way to obtain that, then by returning to Pretty woman who has given me that so many times. I know it sounds dastardly and heinous, but that is the unfortunate reality behind that. Keep us updated. 

Ironman,

  Will do.  Here's hoping I won't have anything to update... .

although realistically you will prob hear from me again... .

Oh PrettyWoman this is funny... . in that awful black-comedy world of BPD... .

You may know by now from my frequent stories that ex dumped me to move in with another woman he had been dating a month while still keeping me dangling and abjectly paying for everything. I got the same treatment, total silence, blocking, 'I will never reply to you again, you are sick, you need help' blah blah blah.

What made me laugh re your ex was the TOTAL similarity of approach to 'fishing'... . ex's first email three months after disappearing was 'hi'... . just hi. Pathetic.

The next one pretended to offer an explanation for his disappearance... . neglecting to mention the other girlfriend, whom I found out about on Facebook shortly after :D

Ex deleted me from FB years ago because I am a 'dangerous stalker' (projection anyone?). In fact it was to conceal his affair(s) etc. Very convenient.

I am currently blocked on everything having offered a calm and forgiving attempt at closure. He didn't like that much :D The last email graciously forgave me for all my evil acts and said that 'we will be great friends in a few years'... . my ass.

I have had the 'NEVER EVER AGAIN' messages so many times too... . he might well be back in touch in three months, three years or never. God knows. And the only way is to block him because he is poison.

Delusional,

   Hell I can relate. This last time I got dumped after a weekend where I felt bad. She said we should see other people.  I knew immediately who this other person was.

Same day I saw a gas receipt to this chicks house.  She had her all lined up.  Caught my ex in so much garbage.  If you read my posts from November you will see how I caught the other woman in a lie.  This woman was friends with both of us (I thought). She even had the audacity to throw me a birthday party a week after my ex dumped me. At that time I was suspect but had no proof. 

Over the holidays the other woman's mother died.  My ex cannot cope with another's stress and leaves you when you need someone the most. All of a sudden I see her on match describing all the qualities I have.  She even checked out my profile.  I immediately posted I was taking a break and found my match (I am dating someone) and haven't checked match for over three weeks. 

I know this peaked her curiosity and I am sure me not caring is driving her mad.  I really don't want that but to be honest don't care.

Pretty, your ex sounds a lot like a female version of mine :D Yeah, when he had started sleeping with this woman I started getting a lot of sexual fantasy email and texts about threesomes... . he neglected to tell me who the third person in his fantasy was... .  

Yeah I read all your posts and related all the way. My ex has a similar 'romantic' history if you can call it romantic... . 150 odd women slept with, constant hunting for new prey. All girlfriends left him cos he is a nightmare despite being bloody gorgeous, sexy and on the surface very sensitive and caring. All except one idealised one are awful, faithless bhites (according to him, of course).

I win the bhit prize, I am a dangerous, money-obsessed stalker psychopath apparently :D Odd that, as he spent the last three months begging me to come back to him :D

She will TOTALLY be jealous of your new relationship. It will drive her nuts, she wants the control and the option to have you back without having to make any effort. I told ex I was seeing someone else and he went NUTS and started pursuing me much harder. It was when I finally outright refused even his offer of sex that he got nasty again and blocked me FOREVER. LOL.

He may well be back in a few months or years or whatever. He can stick it!  

Thats so sad re the bereavement and how vile she was. God, they are all the same. Ex described with great bitterness how awful it had been FOR HIM when his ex lost her brother, in his 20s, when she was only 20 herself. Eerily enough he had taken all the deceased brothers old clothes and wore them quite a lot... . that made me quite queasy, as he was always broke and trying to take what he could. He also told me another chilling story, that he had had her mastercard number and used it 'for revenge' after they split up... . but of course she was the 'bhit'.

Recently of course, he admitted to me he 'still  had feelings' for her. What a freakshow this lot really are.

I'm starting to form the opinion that, in our efforts to get the message over that we're truly done, they get that 'thrill of the chase' feeling? Like at the very beginning?

It's almost like our efforts to get em to well & truly ___ off, forever, be gone etc etc, makes them think we're playing hard to get & it turns them on? Possibly making us even more desired & fuelling their idealisation again?

For the 'Non' it's loose loose loose all the way! When you want them they ignore you & hurt you! And later down the line when you just want em to ___ off for ever, they decide we're 'The Second Coming of Christ!

Bewildering & SO FRUSTRATING!  The more you signal the last sequel ended & no more being made, the more they turn to the beginning! You want it all to go away after years of abuse for falling from grace. You came off your pedestal & they battered you in every way conceivable for trying to get back!

Then once you fecking hate the thought of being worshipped by a mentally ill person, out comes the pedestal & you're nailed to it!

I'm going to end up as mental as my ex! I know it!

HOLY CRAP, PW... . Can I come?  Pretty pretty please, pretty woman?

Lol Arn, I should add a majority of these women are pretty butch. I think you are out of their league . 

Yeah, just interested in the ones with lipstick and long hair, but the butch ones tip great! Lol. Take care

Arn, forgot you were a bartender. That's funny!

Day two since I blocked her and I have mixed emotions.  I know deep down this is a game and any reply from me only sets me up for more hurt. At the same time I still care about this person who has "0" care for me. I am wondering at what point I will get past this part.

I do admit had she emailed me a few weeks into leaving me to "date others" I would have bent and replied. Now a few months out and a few $1000 worth of counseling sessions it's made it easier.

I want to read her mind but I can't and thinking I can is just my narcissism talking.

Even if you could read her mind, you would be reading a hailstorm of contradictory messages interlaced with contrasting realities weaving in abd out and morphing to fit the image her brain is receiving through the lens she is currently looking at you through. It would drive you to madness and leave you with sadness as you would be left without words trying to translate and make sense of that.

Having read quite a few things mine has written, I can attest to that, despite her high functioning exterior.

Exactly!

Like a fish who gains speed, jumps out of the water.  Sees the world.  The trees, the sun, the beaches, people, buildings, automobiles, birds.

Then the fish that jumped out of the water goes to his other fish friends to tries to explain to them what he just saw; but he cannot.  The fish, himself, has no idea what he just saw.

All points well taken. I am just frustrated. It's like she knows that one little email "mistake" would gnaw at me.  It IS but I am not biting. I am glad I blocked her. I am sort of hoping she dates someone in the community. It is so small. Last I was on match.com more that 1/2 the lesbians I know were on there. We were winking at each other as a joke.  I sort of want to see her f up with someone else so I don't look crazy. . She is known for moving a lot, probably because she out wears her welcome after awhile dating everyone in the area and being an ass. Best thing would be if she eventually moved. A girl can only hope.

sighh... . PW... . i am in the same boat as you are...   is good to see i am not the only one

Ironman and others say nothing but the truth. i wish it could be easier to digest.

stay strong! and keep us posted.

i know i will face the same dilema as you are facing now sooner or later. and in true honesty, i dont know how I will react.  In my view, blocking etc is the right direction, but does not mean is the easy one. |iiii

None of this sits well with me anymore. Someone just dropped me like a piece of shyt and now wants to bother me. Really? After telling me they will never speak to me again and I betrayed them.

I am sick to my stomach. Physically ill. She is dating people, still talking with the person she left me for and has the audacity of trying to still haunt me.

At this moment I am actually angry. My therapist likes it when I am angry. I am just angry and dissapointed I meant nothing to this person other than the fact they needed someone to hurt and dump on.

I felt the same when my Medusa returned in round 2. The same dropping me like a piece of sh¥t. And now, after being dropped like a mountain of sh¥t when she left me again at end of round 2, it only makes me wonder what nonsense she would literally tell me when she makes her reappearance on x day in future. I totally understand your anger. 

Good!  Angry is a step in the right direction. The direction towards healing. One that will keep you focused and in control.

My T loved it when I finally got angry, too. He actually gave me a mini-lecture on anger. I wish I had taken notes, as it was darn good. Anger is a manifestation of pain. Manifesting it is the first step in letting it go. Unless you're a BPD, and then you're always angry :^\

Audacity, yes PrettyWoman that's quite the word.

I felt it was actually part of the dehumanisation and devaluation... . to be b*tched at, gaslit, dropped, ignored at my lowest ebb when I really needed him, then picked up again by a f***ed up freak who is STILL lying his head off... . and then has the further audacity to blame me for his lies, when I find out... . I really must have been nothing but a sort of avatar to him... . some actress in his own surreal drama. The one in his head, where I don't want to be any more.

Keep strong and ignore her. xx

My exBPD has learned to play on my caring personality.  6 months ago he texted me saying his father died.  The recycle trap worked.  I responded with sympathy. Stupid me,  after my gut feeling of being lied to I did my own investigation.  It was a lie... . my gut feeling was right.  After confronting his lie, he stated he wanted to intentionally hurt me... after 6 months of no contact?  Why?

Anyways, a week ago I got another text... my father has emphysema and the found a lung nodule... most likely he has lung cancer.  What?  .   I'm weak and I responded, only to endure another week of textes bantering back and forth about his self loathing, accusations and how mean I am for leaving him... . he did it again! He reeled me in to his twisted insanity to once again take his abusiveness.  When I respond and defend myself... I'm accused of having to have the last word... even though he's the one that has the last word, because he just wrote "you have to have the last word and I don't respond"   . It's a game! A narcissistic supply that I keep feeding.  So I realize this now and I HAVE to not respond... even though I know another lie, another fishing trip is on it's way... it's just a matter of time.

i relate to this alot. I get a first text that is sweet in nature, i reply with a short message to then receive 2 - 3 texts that devalue me once again. i dont respond to those anymore. i fall in the trap as you do.

Growing_wing,

What baffles me the most is how they can switch from nice to nasty within a text.  When he devalues me, I go into defense mode.  I guess because he's very good at blame and deviating his portion of responsibility on me.   Something I'm starting to see and has been a game changer for me is, he's an extremely unhappy man who has very low self esteem who has to project that negativity and unhappiness on me to feel superior.  He views me as strong successful woman that has left him in misery.  He's not close with his family, he has very few friends and he will insult anyone that he deems unworthy or being a lowlife.  I will never understand his world, but I do understand I have a choice to live in it or not.  I've been working on not.

Mine would always dump me when I was sad about something.  I guess she thought I was going to dump her first or perceived my sadness as rejection. 

What kills me is when she'd leave she'd tell me all these reasons why... . things she never told me in the relationship. 

If I told her this or tried to talk she would shut down and totally ignore me. If I pressed further she would block all forms of communication. 

I've had nightmares about her the last two nights.  It's been hard.  Clearly the emails brought back some PTSD in me. 

I know she sent them on purpose.  If she didn't she was clearly searching for old emails from me because this was from Jan 2013.  The fact she in blocked me on FB a day after getting no response is a clear sign she is wondering why I didn't bite.  She is actively on a dating site.  I really hope she finds someone soon.  The gay community is small and since I plan events I know a ton of people.  Not that I would wish crazy on anyone but I hope someone else gets to deal with this. 

Again, I know not nice but I'm feeling today. 

Notthesame... . yes, they flip within minutes (In my experience). i think they KNOW how to get you, for me, it seems like she knows waht to say to get a reaction from me...   sometimes i respond if i get a nice message (still cant be doing NC arrggghh) but the minute she gets nasty, i dont respond anymore. i disengage from the message, but i agree, it still gets me (same as you). you have good coping technique indeed, but i think is best to do what others soo recommend: We should not answer to them at all, NC :) (i am working to get there)

I've been trying to do that forever it seems... but after his last lie of his fathers death, my whole perception of him has shifted and the NC is getting to be easier as time passes.

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