BPDFamily.com

My BPDbf is a nice guy. He really is. He has talents and ideas BUT he gives up on everything. If I push him too much he sleeps for 3 days. He never had a job more than one week and hasnt work for the last 3 years. Only volunteer work. He has severe OCD which "blocks" his mind into doing a lot of things but besides that I am begining to believe he is simply lazy. He just gave up on doing anything besides playing videogames.

His mother has a depression and hasnt left home for the last years so they both stay in there... . in the dark, all day. He goes out like 2 or 3 times a week to go shop and play football and she always makes a fuss (she wants to keep him indoors) and he visits me and his therapist every week from friday to monday. Besides that: nothing.  No will to work, no will to travel, to study... . Nothing.

Is laziness a problem to you too?

I really dont know what to do... .

I feel for you Miss. I really do. It’s frustrating and bewildering sometimes. I would love to hear other people’s experiences and comments on this. My wife is an enigma.

She hordes things she shops for, clothing jewelry, ornaments etc… She comes in a just piles things on the dining room table, up the stairwell upstairs, in her 18X16 walk in closet and walks away. She’ll climb over stuff before she’ll clean any of it up or sort it out.

I maintain neatness and order in the rest of the house out of necessity being a neat freak by nature. I also do all the cooking and we have a house cleaner come in once a week because I was just so frustrated keeping it up all the time on my own as well.  I’m not a perfectionist type – just hate a mess and especially having to look for something.

In other respects she exceeds, keeping files: awesome, doing laundry: looks like everything just came off a shelf of a store. It amazes me.

But if it doesn’t interests her to do it there’s going to be trouble immediately if you mention it needs to be done. Even offering to help her because” it’s a big job to organize where it will all go” is turned down immediately with “I’m going to do it this week!” Yup OK.

Expense one thing, but what can only be seen as you described ‘laziness’ is another. When it comes to cooking it’s a matter of self-preservation. She cannot focus on the task at hand and has started some pretty scary fires in the kitchen trying over the years. She forgets something’s on a burner, reads the directions wrong and microwaves things until the fire department comes :-)

I don’t have answers, that’s for sure. It’s a toughy to live with and tougher to understand. I think it’s so much deeper than laziness. I’d sure like to hear if anyone has had any success to break through with this. I haven’t. Either I do it, and that can sometimes be met with a nasty response, or it doesn’t get done.