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Title: In desperate need of support :( Post by: joshbjoshb on March 19, 2014, 01:55:59 PM Very uncommon to me, I drank too much. Came home, wife was yelling at me, I started yelling back that she needs to give me respect and if not I am going to leave. She grabbed the house keys from my hand (I was actually on my way out!) and I stayed.
Following day I said to her that yes, I am at a situation that I am very much in distress over her behavior, and really can't deal with her constant negativity and criticism. She of course found a proof that this is what I really wanted to do all along. Just to give you a clue of what type of conversation I have with her... . "You want to leave? Leave!" she said. I sigh. I said already 50 times today that I don't want to leave, but feel for my mental well being I need to leave. ":)o you want me to leave?" I ask. "Actually no. You destroyed me so much that I have no family and no friends, so if you will leave I might have a nervous breakdown or commit suicide. Then you will be happy because you have the children." All of her alarms are on full gear. Of course I am to blame that she can't sleep or eat, and if only I will stop being a control freak everything will be fine. I am so sick. So tired. And need some hugs, and love Title: Re: In desperate need of support :( Post by: an0ught on March 19, 2014, 02:25:29 PM Hi joshbjoshb,
perfection is not achievable and this would have happened sooner or later. Still tough Excerpt I sigh. I said already 50 times today that I don't want to leave, but feel for my mental well being I need to leave. I guess it is time to make clear to her that you hate her... . Not really, but you can't pretend to be happy with her all the time and feel different. By your own admission you are lying to her and I doubt the tone of your voice is not giving you away and triggering her. Sometimes one is upset and angry and it is ok too. Maybe time to switch to a more dialectic message - Excerpt "Actually no. You destroyed me so much that I have no family and no friends, so if you will leave I might have a nervous breakdown or commit suicide. Then you will be happy because you have the children." I hate you too and then I love you too. My head is spinning and I need a break. See you later. Grey messages are difficult to get right to get through to her so black and white messages can sometimes stand in. Title: Re: In desperate need of support :( Post by: DazedButNotConfused on March 19, 2014, 02:32:00 PM Josh,
I think I understand where you are now... . and I am there with you. I just wanted to send you a big hug and a prayer ... . I have no sage words of advice but I do know that you are not alone in what you are feeling and experiencing. It really is a difficult road we travel. |