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Title: Thinking of Switching to Undecided..? Post by: wilsonian on July 02, 2014, 08:39:52 AM man its been a crazy few days and I have been trying every tool in the book to the best of my knowledge... I understand that she is in her cycle and on top of that she has allot on her plate... .her OCD is on overdrive due to us just moving and the house is still in boxes and a mess... plus her new grandbaby... grandpa passing away a month ago and all the other things she sets in her mind and stews about... why is this person mad at her why havent they talked to her for awhile of facebooked her etc etc... .but its hard on me... anyone ever just cried all the way to work before... .I am getting tired of it everyday... .last night she has turn the cold cold heart woman on... I was not only told all I do wrong but all she thinks I did wrong in the past or even living before she came along was wrong... .she doesnt care if I stay or go... .she is pulling back from the relationship and life etc etc... she is hard and I am soft and weak... .just hammer and hammer and hammer me down... .thanks for letting me vent... .
Title: Re: Thinking of Switching to Undecided..? Post by: stuckgirl on July 02, 2014, 11:57:34 AM hi wilsonian
i wont pretend i know what you're going through,but i do know how it feels like to be helpless in front of BPD dysregulation. perhaps you can specify as to how your relationship with your SO was before all these problems happened.perhaps this is a phase and it will blow over,obviously only if youre willing to stick around while it does if it is a phase. also,how long have the both of you been together, any kids? im new to these boards,other people might know this,but unfortunately i dont,so would you please let me know some things? :) do you want her to pull away,and to try and get to pulling away yourself,because you did say you are considering undecided. if you do or are,then there is no shame in that,i know many bad things have happened in the past few months,and she might be dysregualted,but i think we should be proud of taking care of ourselves too,congratulate ourselves that we have the courage when another human being is literally dependent on us.it is a huge load to carry, if you do want to move to 'undecided' and start moving away,know this,that you have all the support you want. think about your well-being,and happiness first,whatever that may encompass. whether therapy,moving with the way things are right now,doing something about them,or accepting a relationships end. Title: Re: Thinking of Switching to Undecided..? Post by: wilsonian on July 02, 2014, 01:47:12 PM humm... lets see stuckgirl where to start lol... .we have been together over a year married... we knew each other real well back in high school and lived on same street(in the 70s)... we hooked back up couple years back on FB... .married and I found out a couple of months into the marriage why she was really in disability... PTSD... Anxiety Disorder... Panic Disorder... OCD and was diagnosis later in 2012 with BPD... after that the tiger came out of the cage completely... .first and foremost I know its not her fault... she was physically... sexually... verbally abuse by her ex in a extreme way... so of course the fixer... saver... big heart person I am that just drew me closer to her... anyway fast forward... we had a couple of really awesome long stretches of no issues but of course reality always comes back... since then been getting worse and worse... part of me believes this is just a longer cycle and rougher one due to all that is going on... the question is can I mentally handle the rest of this beat down then start the climb upwards on the roller coaster again to come down again... .
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