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Title: Small success Post by: Allmessedup on July 02, 2014, 09:59:52 AM I love reading about the small successes couples make on this board. It is important to recognize and celebrate those.
So yesterday we had a big success:) My gf has never done well with my negative emotions. She takes them as indication that she is failing me and therefore I will ultimately abandon her. However we have been working on the high conflict couple as well as a book about attachment styles together. And honestly communicating when we are calm and relaxed. Well last night I was in a mood. Pmsy I think but in retrospect I had no buisness seeing her while I was in that state. But I did and she of course picked up on it. But it went fantastic:). What normally would have ended in disaster ended up being a hugely positive experience for us both. She utilized some of the skills in the high conflict couple book and was able to not only handle my negative feelings without internalizing them but also able to reassure and validate me as well. I in turn could be mindful enough then of my own emotions and recognize what she was doing and appreciate that hugely. We talked about it after and we both ended the evening feeling very proud of both of us individually and as a couple. It was huge progress for us both so I wanted to share:) Title: Re: Small success Post by: an0ught on July 03, 2014, 02:25:22 PM Hi Allmessedup,
sounds like a small success but it is really a huge step forward |iiii when both sides are able to figure out what emotions are brought to the table by themselves. Title: Re: Small success Post by: ziniztar on July 04, 2014, 06:34:41 AM YAAAAAAAAAAAY |iiii
Makes me want to read The Book Title: Re: Small success Post by: formflier on July 07, 2014, 07:03:30 AM I love reading about the small successes couples make on this board. It is important to recognize and celebrate those. So yesterday we had a big success:) My gf has never done well with my negative emotions. She takes them as indication that she is failing me and therefore I will ultimately abandon her. However we have been working on the high conflict couple as well as a book about attachment styles together. And honestly communicating when we are calm and relaxed. Well last night I was in a mood. Pmsy I think but in retrospect I had no buisness seeing her while I was in that state. But I did and she of course picked up on it. But it went fantastic:). What normally would have ended in disaster ended up being a hugely positive experience for us both. She utilized some of the skills in the high conflict couple book and was able to not only handle my negative feelings without internalizing them but also able to reassure and validate me as well. I in turn could be mindful enough then of my own emotions and recognize what she was doing and appreciate that hugely. We talked about it after and we both ended the evening feeling very proud of both of us individually and as a couple. It was huge progress for us both so I wanted to share:) I think this is a huge success... . |iiii Hopefully this inspires you guys to redouble your efforts to make using the tools second nature. |