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Title: Silent Treatment Post by: SybilVane on July 04, 2014, 07:41:02 PM I've been reading some old topics regarding the 'silent treatment' as a 'method' used by many BPD as a way to punish their partners.
Does anyone know any other reason which can be behind this behaviour? Which was the longest the period of 'silent treatment' imposed by your BPD partner? These periods tend to be longer according some pattern (time of relationship, intensity of the feelings etc)? Thanks for sharing your experience and opinion. Title: Re: Silent Treatment Post by: patientandclear on July 04, 2014, 11:43:33 PM The workshop on silent treatment and many of our experiences reflect that silent treatment also occurs when the pwBPD is dissociating or needs time to re-regulate, stabilize or recover her or his footing. Some of the BPD partners of members here have reported having very little awareness of why they were "away" for so long. It's almost as if aspects of their consciousness were suspended for a time. Often this goes along with fear of rejection if they were to re-emerge and make contact.
It's not unheard of for silent treatment to extend for many months, with the pwBPD considering that they are not even broken up, necessarily. Title: Re: Silent Treatment Post by: rodman8 on July 04, 2014, 11:44:26 PM The first was two weeks, but there were a couple texts here and there. We were still dating at the time though. And, there was no punishment. She was obviously trying to hide something from me, and did not want to come clean on her lie. The second time was one week, and that was from a minor argument we had. I broke the no contact, or who knows how long it would have lasted. The third time was 5 weeks, and that was after we broke up and she met the new guy, so obviously she did not know how to tell me there was someone else. The fourth time was two months, and it was right before I was supposed to come out and visit her. She cancelled at the last minute, and disappeared until once again I broke the no contact. This last time has been four months since I last received a text from her. I lent her $3,000 (stupid, stupid move on my part) and after telling me she had half my money ready to be sent to me, it never came. She then disappeared and blocked me from her social media. Nice person, huh? I have no idea if I will hear from her again. However, I have decided to sue her, so one way or another she will have to deal with it in some capacity.
The silent treatment is excruciating. I hate, hate, hate it. But you can't teach good behavior. They have to hold themself accountable, and they almost always choose not to. |