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Title: Feel Like I'm At Wits End Post by: TiggerGirl on July 04, 2014, 08:11:18 PM I feel like I'm practically at the end of my rope. My uBPDh and I have been separated for 6 months now, with no clear decision on whether or not the marriage will survive. I keep on getting "I don't know" type answers out of him. He has not attended any counseling and keeps on putting off therapy for his issues. I have been seeing the pastor for counseling and a therapist for my depression. But I don;t know how much longer I can continue this. I cry all the time on my way home from work because I'm going home to an empty house and I miss him.
I have not been the only one to notice his complete behavior switch. Many of his friends and work have noticed and work has told him to get help! I keep on asking myself why do I stay? And that has been happening more and more. I love him with all of my heart, but he is pushing me to a decision that I do not want to make. Many of said, I'll be the one making the decision because he won't. He doesn't want to lose me completely. But I feel like I am being used because he doesn't want to lose the one person who has always loved him. He has really big issues with abandonment. I just feel like I am at wit's end. So many of my friends and family are telling me that I should just cut my losses and leave him because what he's doing to me is destroying me. I try my best to take care of myself, but it seems like its becoming harder and harder to do. I am not happy and I can't hide it anymore. Part of me wants to end it and have some peace, but I know it won't. It will just create a new host of problems that I am not equipped to deal with right now even though I do have a wonderful support system in place. I just want a resolution. I am so exhausted feeling like this all of the time. :'( Title: Re: Feel Like I'm At Wits End Post by: MrsDivia on July 05, 2014, 11:20:03 AM I know EXACTLY how you feel. My uBPDh and I have been through hell (probly beyond) and back countless times. Each time with reach the brink he always have that same ambiguous response which drives me crazy because I feel like why can't he just snap out of it, or why can't he just love me like I love him. It's the hardest thing in the world... .I wish I could offer you some advice but as many horrible things my husband has done I have stayed. Mainly to be honest because we are a family of 5 - we have 3 kids under the age of 7.
What I do know is that you can not feel bad about taking the time to take care of you or to take the time to reach your own decision. If you aren't healthy it won't help anyone or your relationship with your husband or family/friends. Lots of to you. Title: Re: Feel Like I'm At Wits End Post by: TiggerGirl on July 05, 2014, 04:05:42 PM Thanks for the love MrsDivia. I certainly could use all that I get. I am going to start seeing my therapist twice a week now. I need the extra support now more than ever.
This time around he said I wasn't giving him all the love and support he needed, so that's why he went to his friends to talk and tell them things. I found that extremely hurtful. I know I cannot fill every aspect of his life, but depression or not, I continued to give him my love and support to the best of my abilities. He was just too blind then and now to see it. I just wish he would make the decision. I know what I want. I prefer to stay married to him, but he needs to get help. He keeps telling people that our funture, doesn't look good. Well, he's done nothing to make it better. I have been doing all of the work, while he runs around playing trains and hiding behind his friends. He was a good husband up until late last year and something in him snapped. Just like when we were dating. He seems to have a pattern and its about every 3 years. I was asked by my therapist, what was the guarantee that he wouldn't do this again, and next time we could have children. I want to be strong, but I just don't know how much longer I can hold on anymore. :'( |