BPDFamily.com

Today I received this message.

A couple weeks ago I told her I reject her 100%, that I don't care about her, that I don't want anything to do with her. That I'm a good person, that I deserve better, that if she smears me I have insurance etc.

Today, on one of my songs "here without you" I get the message "hope ur ok". I'm guessing she really likes that song, probably evokes those feelings of abandonment, loneliness etc that she and other BPDs feel so well.

However, what on earth does "hope ur ok" mean?

I've deleted my instagram, deleted my facebook (5 days into the delete now and going strong!) and her number is deleted from my phone. So this is the only way she can contact me. Tbh I called her out on this before when she sent gibberish to me, it kind of led to me contacting her again, and my theory is she's doing the same, hoping I'll contact her again. Obviously her ex is as serious as me about NC, and he doesn't have a smule sing! account where she can contact him whenever she pleases.

I've kinda moved on anyway, I've got a nice christian girl who seems into me, and I'm tesco's finest shop worker. Man I hate it when she does this. 

I refuse to contact her.

I'd say you haven't moved on if it was only a couple of weeks ago and her attempts still affect you, but that's OK, it's just important to be honest with yourself.  For contrast, complete detachment would be she sends some type of message and you see it with maybe a little curiosity or amusement, but it has no emotional impact on you.  And of course, 'hope ur ok' is bait, as in fishing, to see if there's still an attachment there; you seem to get that.  She will go away eventually if you ignore it.

How are you showing up differently with this new gal?

Agree with H2H.  She's testing the waters, hoping you'll respond with something, anything really.  If you're really done with this girl, ignore this and all future messages, as responding will only encourage her further.  If you can, block her from contacting you through this particular medium, and any others you can think of.  

Yup, testing the waters.  Seeing how you react.  And most probably wanting you to respond with, "I hope YOU are okay, too!"  "hope ur ok" means "I hope you'll ask me if I'm okay."

If you are dating someone worth something, then let that propel you to continue to break away, my friend.

My ex's fave mode of breaking NC was a blank text. She knew I'd respond.

I believe when they ask I'd we are "OK" that they are sincere; but it's still a tool to get us to feed their disorder.

The actual 'rs' ended months ago, but I broke NC a few weeks ago, thats why I rejected her 2 weeks ago, I actually believed that completely rejecting her, and making things as impossible as possible for us to talk again would make her move on. In fact it's not... its worked the other way.

I completely see your point, but luckily it doesn't affect me in making me contact her, it makes me write on here. Which I find to be progress, cos had she done that just a few weeks ago I may have responded.

I certainly haven't completely moved on, but the situation is as low priority for me as it ever has been. I just couldn't imagine wasting my time right now talking to her.

This new gal is just texts, theres nothing actually happening right now, She lives quite a way aways from me, but we're phoning one another tomorrow. I'm spinning other plates too.

I think the only reason she hasn't text is cos she thinks I have her number blocked.

Smule is the one thing you cannot block on. It's not that big a deal though, I use it to sing, I have more followers than her  Its the one thing I always resolved I wasn't going to let her make me leave it because its my hobby, its also a big confidence boost for me being able to sing and stuff. I do agree its a waters test, I always used to think that a bit of vacuuming from her would make me feel better, and perhaps up my ego a bit, all it really does is irrationally induce anxiety within me.


I intend to go on a few dates tbh, lovely girl at work today, we had a chat and she mentioned she had no social life "hint hint", next time I see her I intend to ask her out.

I agree that she's not okay, and probably does want someone to vent upon, the other day she made a song and the comment she put was all about how upset and how she was crying when she was singing.

I am going to say this, when she left I believed that was it and it was over, I did not realise that literally, they would crop up from time to time and disturb your peace. its really surprising to me to be honest.