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After a 1 month pullback, My uBPD BF of 6 years made warm contact.  We had a chance meeting at work in the coffee area.  We exchanged hello's and then sat at a nearby table.  I sat without expectations in mind and was curious what he might say.  After some small talk, he said he missed me and asked me out to dinner for my upcoming birthday.  I accepted.

So a few days have passed without further contact, which is fine, and the upcoming bday dinner is this weekend.  What words of wisdom do you have?  Should I go out without expectation and just enjoy the moments?  Should I practice validation skills for the date?  I was excited at first but now am feeling a bit numb about it all.  This was someone I used to talk to daily but its been a month and I feel some anxiety about the distance I sense now.

I like the idea of going in without expectations. His behavior is out of your control, so best to be prepared for all contingencies.

My only wise words are that if you are not married - why would you get involved with this? I am sorry for being blunt, but I can never understand why people who are not even married to each other, let alone living together, are choosing to get back together with someone who basically doesn't care a $#$ about them and only thinks of himself.

The world if full of great guys.

 I appreciate your comment joshb but would like something constructive to work with based on the fact that this is the staying board.

I apologize.

How about setting some boudaries around pull backs? It doesn't seem optimal for you to be in a relationship with someone who drops you for a month here and there. There are probably other areas of the relationship that need boundary setting.

I also think you should be open to the idea of moving on and finding somebody else.