BPDFamily.com

The other night my uBPDw said in a kind of joking way but matter of fact way also "I know you have a girl friend, it's ok if you do, it won't hurt my feelings, well maybe a little" I just really said nothing but just treated it as if she was joking.

Today I received a voicemail on my lunch break " are you with your girlfriend on your lunch hour? heh, heh, are ya? just couldn't get ya there buddy" that was said in a joking way then the joking tone turned to normal speaking like she was leaving me a normal message " I guess I was just calling you to ask if you were with your girlfriend just in case you were, well I'll talk to you later, bye"

I called her back and talked about some other texts she sent me, no big deal. then I get a text shortly " you never answered my voicemail question"

I just texted back "no I don't have a girlfriend"

? it's just messing with my head

I know some of you wish... .crap I wish that's all I had to deal with.

scary... . 

it's truly scary the stuff they come up with

Last week I had to go to my cousins to help the family plan my grandfathers funeral arrangement and left our 5yo home with my husband.  Because I didn't make sure there was dinner laid out and ready (I left things in the fridge) when I got home he raged slapping my phone out my hand and screaming.  So I left and went back to my cousins to sleep on her couch.  I then got a bunch of texts accusing me of going to my boyfriends house to make it all better and when I was done getting f*'d by my boyfriend I should come home and feed my son.  Mind you I'm 5 months pregnant!

Sadly, you aren't the only one that gets these kind of accusations.  Actually, it seems to be pretty typical BPD behavior.

An ex of mine, who certainly fits the description of BPD or NPD, would often ask me "were you with your other girlfriend today?"  At first, I thought she was joking.  But if I told her I had no other girlfriend, she would imply I was a loser for not cheating on her.  She would tell me, "I always want you to use a condom with your other girlfriend".  Eventually, I learned she wasn't joking, she would tell me she had "visions" of my other girlfriend, and describe what she looked like (her description was of someone who would not be my type at all).

My current BPD fiancé has, on occasion, made comments when I am using my phone,  "who are you talking to, your other girlfriend?"  I would normally think she was joking, but after my experience with that ex, I know she is not.

They are not joking. They know you probably are not doing anything wrong, but they still FEEL like you might be cheating, because they do not feel worthy enough to be in a monogamous relationship. So, their way of coping with that is usually what I refer to as fishing "my dBPDh does this as well) where they throw something out there as 'kidding', but really they are trying to see if any of the spaghetti sticks. If you get upset at their joke, they feel validated. If you laugh it off though... .they remain on the fence for the most part... .that's been my experience, anyways.

My guess, some sort of projection.