BPDFamily.com

My D13 has been in therapy off an on for about two and a half years. As part of my custody agreement, BPDx is in charge of all decision making concerning therapy for the kids, which includes picking therapists, and getting them back and forth to appointments. I am legally enjoined from picking therapists for D13 (and BPDx is legally enjoined from picking the kids' doctors, dentists, or schools), but nothing in the orders prevents me from communicating with D13's therapists, just as nothing prevents BPDx from talking to doctors, dentists, teachers, etc.

From about May 2012 to February 2014, D13 had one therapist (we'll call her "Erin.". BPDx got D13 to appointments every 3 weeks or so, give or take. The practice was down the street from where I live, and I work out of the home with a flex schedule, so I could drive the kids to appointments if needed.

In January 2014, D13 began making suicidal statements at school, and ended up hospitalized for about two weeks. Upon discharge, she returned to "Erin," but Erin left the practice soon thereafter and started her own. The new practice was very unhandy to our area (about a 40 minute one-way drive during weekdays), but BPDx decided to "follow her to the ends of the earth" (this was Erin's own words). I objected, reminding BPDx that she depends on others for rides, and that my schedule wouldn't allow me to take hours out of my day to run D13 to therapy when there was an office literally down the street. But BPDx didn't listen (surprise!), withdrew D13 from the practice she was set up in, and put her in with Erin. D13's last appointment with the old practice was in March; she's had one appointment with Erin in May, and none since then. D13 was out of town for camp from mid June to mid July, but I don't think that's an excuse.

In may, I called Erin to find out what the schedule is for D13's therapy - no response. A day later, I got an email from BPDx in response telling me that "She does not have time to speak to both of us to validate appointments. HUGE crisis she will talk to both of us." Those were her exact words. So clearly BPDx and the therapist are in contact. I have called Erin repeatedly since - no responses. Aside from obvious concerns about D13's therapy, I am also concerned that BPDx has successfully projected her image of me - that I'm abusive - with this therapist, and she's buying it.

D13 does have a fairly decent support system sans therapy - she is close with her school counselor, who knows her case, and will communicate with me when she sees D13 going down a dark path, but the kid clearly needs therapy. BPDx will not disclose what her plans are for this at all.

I could violate the court order and begin taking D13 back to her old practice (she did like her new counselor there), arguing that the situation justifies it, but I am hesitant to do that because BPDx will then put D13 in the middle of the issue, and I guarantee you this will cause her to start interfering in decision making areas - particularly education - that I am solely responsible for, and that could be destructive for D13. The only thing keeping BPDx even remotely in line is court orders, and I'm hesitant to violate them, even though I feel I would be right to do so.

So... .

1) Is there some verbage I could use with Erin to get her to return my phone calls?

2) Any advice on how to get this changed in court?

Check your state's laws.  In my state, in the section dealing with family law, there is a statute that says that unless there is a court order saying that access to information would not be in the child's best interest, both parents have access to the child's medical and mental health records, etc.  And, if any party (whether a parent or practitioner) blocks a parent's access to that information, they can be held in contempt and charged attorney's fees and costs.

Usually once I send a letter and mention that statute, doctors and teachers start sharing information.

Sorry, duplicate post... .

Do you happen to know what the statute is in Colorado?

You can also look up what state board governs her license and call them to ask if this is worthy of a complaint... .therapists don't like to have to defend themselves to the board.

In my state, age 13 is where they're given the right to privacy and confidentiality.  The kids actually have to request then sign a specific information share form before  therapist can share anything with a parent.

Thanks, all - the therapist ultimately did return my call.