Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: woofhound on August 20, 2014, 02:39:04 PM

Title: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: woofhound on August 20, 2014, 02:39:04 PM
Today I began thinking about all the good times my ex and I had together. In response to that i've learned to stop those thoughts and instead, remind myself of the vast array of negative things from our R/S. I began thinking today of something she said to me once that was a huge  red-flag, and I began to wonder if any of your exs might have said anything that was truly bizzarre.

I'll start:

My ex once said to me that "Hitler was an artist." To which I replied, "Yeah. He never made it as a painter."

She then elaborated, "No, I mean the holocaust was art. Its all part of the terrible beautiful nature of the universe."

I was dumbfounded. I disagreed. If you ask me killing multitudes of people is far from art. It reminded me that she is probably not right in her mind and possibly a sociopath with no sense of right and wrong.

What's the weirdest thing your exBPD (or current) ever said?

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Bak86 on August 20, 2014, 03:03:51 PM
"Monogamy is stupid. It's not natural. If you ever want to have sex with someone else, go ahead. I expect i can do the same if i asked you to."

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: outside9x on August 20, 2014, 03:11:21 PM
God, I am at work, and shouldn't but what the heck.  There are so many.  Let see. I'll tell two

Oh 1 night I looked at her picture on her dressing room table, she was about 3 in the picture.  I said, very cute picture of you.  She replied, do you see how dead my eyes were in the picture?  (I said nothing!) That was the day my Dad tried to kill me and he wanted to take this last picture of me.  She proceeds to tell me some fantasy story that the plot was so complicated it would be hard to flollow in a mission Impossible movie.  It made no sense!  Then tells me her Dad killed some guy at work and hid the body. For what reason I don't know.  I think I was in shock.  

The other was, and I wish I was making this up, about her visit to her friend house (No longer a friend, and she doesn't have any)    while on her visit, she notice the husband was drinking a quart of vodka straight everyday, he is about 65 years old,  but better than that, and this is too bizzare, how do I say this, he would take his own #2, and somehow, while she was not in her room, stamp little pieices of it all over her floor.  (don't ask me how or why.)  

Now, that takes imagination, I mean , I couldn't make this stuff up.  What is worst , I still dated her.  WOW!

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: willtimeheal on August 20, 2014, 03:18:33 PM
Most bizarre thing she ever said to me was... ."I love you"  ... .I know now she isn't capable of giving or feeling love.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Recooperating on August 20, 2014, 03:39:36 PM
I was in a long distance relationship with my exBPD fiancee.

I found out he was not only cheating, he moved in with this woman and her children!

His explanation:

"I was saving money on rent to buy a ticket to go see you! I did it for you!"

Thanks... .How considerate! 

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Popcorn71 on August 20, 2014, 03:41:09 PM
What's the weirdest thing your exBPD (or current) ever said?

Two things spring to mind.

1)  After an argument one night, he woke me up during the night and ranted at me.  Apart from calling me terrible names, I remember him shouting at me 'You can't even love your own mother'.  The next day he denied remembering any of this.  I think he was projecting as he had serious issues with his mother and eventually cut her out of his life altogether.  He couldn't love anybody never mind his mother and I think he was jealous of the relationship I have with my own mother.

2)  Just before we split up, (when I had no idea that we were going to) he said that he liked to think that if we split up, he could turn up in a few years time after my kids had left home, and that if I was single, we could get back together again.  I didn't pay much attention at the time, but now I think he was planning on leaving and actually meant it!

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: woofhound on August 20, 2014, 03:43:12 PM
Early in our relationship my uBPDex called me late at night and said in a whisper, "My table is moving... ."... .I was like "Ok".

She went on to explain that she was terrified, and that she thought her house was haunted. She even cried... .The conversation concluded with her simply saying it had stopped and she felt fine now... .  red-flag       I should've  folie

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: toomanytears on August 20, 2014, 04:06:11 PM
my stbx of over 30 years said to me on more than one occasion "You'd make a better mistress than a wife". Anyone able to tell me what was the subliminal BPD double think going on in his head when he said that?

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Turkish on August 20, 2014, 04:15:31 PM
She started spending time with my replacement last July, a guy whose number she exchanged who was a bouncer at a local club (I was home taking care of the kids). Mid august, I found out she was cheating with him. Early Sept, I found something she had written to him, "every day that goes by is one day closer that we can be together forever." And:

"With you, things are so simple, they are of their essence." (sure, a lot simpler than staying home and helping to take care of the kids like a mature mother) I filed away more things, but they were basically "junior high schoolish" as my T commented when I read some of them to him.

She: a professional woman, mother of two, early 30s.

He: early 20s, still an undergrad, and by all indications, immature for his age.

It's still going strong from what I can tell. She moved out to finally be with him (not co-habiting) rather than sneaking around in early Feb.

If he really bought into that fantasy idealization, then they really do belong together.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: woofhound on August 20, 2014, 04:25:04 PM
I thought of another good one.

She had broken up with me for reasons unclear, and I hadn't heard from her (by her choice, not mine) for a couple of weeks except for the occasional argument message. She showed up at my house late at night just as I was arriving home. I approached her car, and she just sat there staring at the steering wheel with an empty look on her face. I tapped on the window. She opened the door since her window wouldn't roll down... .I asked, "Why are you here."

Her reply: "I don't know. I guess the same reason zombies go to the mall." She then proceeded to ask if I would have sex with her.

I politely declined, so she left.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Aussie JJ on August 20, 2014, 05:01:18 PM
Oh loride... .

"I only got pregnant to save the relationship."

"I got my problems from YOU."

"You're an absent father, your not emotionally available."

My favourite's from a long time ago... .

"We will spend the rest of our lives together." 

"I can help you."

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: .cup.car on August 20, 2014, 08:13:07 PM
Count the red flags and pick your favorite.

15 years old, in response to what she thinks about while lying in bed:

I usually think about really random and excessively deep stuff... .which gets really annoying, cause then I'll start writing songs in my head... .and quite often end up getting up, turning my light on, and actually writing them down... .and then when I read it after, I'm like "wow I sound really depressed... .I have to shred this to pieces before someone finds it and sends me to rehab again - for depression this time"

15 years old, in response to me inquiring about a girl she assaulted at a birthday party:

When we went to bed, she slept beside me. I pretended to be asleep, kicking her. She woke up, started freaking out and trying to hurt me back... .then I pretended she woke me up and I was like What the heck and started fighting her back, then pinned her under a blanket so she couldn't see and just sat on her holding the blanket down until she gave up. I wish someone would have taped it.

15years old, after I had asked if she had any physical evidence of her folks "abusing" her (spoiler, they weren't):

Not at the moment, I did the first time though... .but my dad was all like "she did that to herself, she has issues... ."

16 years old, after going MIA for a month or so:

I've been arrested four times in a month. I hate my parents. I think I love life. That could change if they get their way.

16 years old, almost a full year after we'd broken up:

You never did anything wrong, I just didn't want to be reminded about the fact that I'm f****d up. Which, I've decided fits, cause you were seriously the best thing that somehow happened in my life, and I really do f*****g miss that, to be perfectly honest. Like REALLY bad. Which is mostly why I cut you out in the first place - I was trying to forget about you so I wouldn't have to remember what being f****d up made me lose.

17 years old, in response to me returning her call from 1am the previous night where she apologized for "being stupid":

Talking in person would be a lot better though considering I haven't seen you in 5000000000 years, and I know it's my fault, but I f*****g miss you.

17 years old, In response to failing to meet with her probation officer after (presumably) assaulting her father for the upteenth time:

At this point I'm ready to go to jail. Not because I deserve it; but cause then I'd actually have some stability and not have to worry about work, missing probation, trying to get through school and dealing with my f*****g parents. I could just get through school and whatever else I need to in there. Despite how f****d up the system is, I'm done trying to fight it. Might as well take advantage of it's stupidity and go with it. I miss you.

17 years old, after I'd confronted her about cheating on me with another girl and asked why she was suddenly hostile towards me:

What kinda crack are you on? You don't need to invent stories to make yourself feel better. [A relationship between us] would never happen bro. I love Kenzie. You're too angry and a boy. Calm down. Stop messaging me and trying to hurt my girlfriend.

18 years old, slinging crap at me through texts:

Are you on f*****g crack? You have a bunch of texts from me telling you to **** off. I want NOTHING to do with you. GIVE THE **** UP.

Pick your favorite. Don't even laugh, if you saw a pic, you'd probably put up with this garbage for as long as possible, too.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: amigo on August 20, 2014, 08:13:17 PM
There were many, not so much bizarre, but outrageous. At the time he said some of these things, I thought he was just provoking an argument, testing me, because I am white, because I couldn't believe that he meant what he said:

"white people are superior and smarter and meant to rule the world.", " small brown people are made for hard labor", " it is wrong for a white woman to have sex with a black man"

I just stared at him in disbelief. Thinking he is making a sick joke. Of course I disagree. But what makes it even more bizarre than just ugly and outrageous is that he is "brown" to use his words and has large lips and a broad nose... .So much self hatred  

Another time during devaluing me he said "A woman is worthless to society, if she has no children... ."  He said this on a trip we took, which I paid for, because I am earning more money, because I went back to school, because I don't have children... .

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: woofhound on August 20, 2014, 08:13:29 PM
"We will spend the rest of our lives together." 

"I can help you."

Did we date the same woman?  :)

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: blissful_camper on August 21, 2014, 12:13:42 AM
Many, too many to list.  


Ex: Everything will go to sh%t if I say I love you.  

(When his first grandchild was born)

Me: How does it feel to be a grandfather?

Ex: I don't know yet.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Tolou on August 21, 2014, 02:44:42 AM
After 7 months without any contact, my choice:

she returns to work: We talk:

Me: How are you, how is your cancer? did the chemo work?

Her: I was desperate, I lied.

I guess that the closest thing of an apology I will get !

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: MrConfusedWithItAll on August 21, 2014, 02:46:50 AM
I needed a new car - she thought it would be fun to accompany me for a search.  We went to a dealership.  Found a nice car and took it for a test drive.  She waited since she had to keep an eye on her dog.  Test drive was longer than ten minutes.  She then became furious.  Her words when I got back - "Who in their right mind actually takes a car for a test drive before buying it?  What a complete waste of time!  How would you know if there was anything wrong with it?".  This was early in our relationship.  Red flags, Red flags.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: Rise on August 21, 2014, 02:52:54 AM
The first time we hung out, she offered to give me a ride back to my place so my roommate (who was my original ride) could work late. I know what this sounds like, but swear to God, I in no way was attempting to put the moves on her. I hadn't even flirted with her, as I thought she was interested in my friend. When we got back to my place, I invited her in for coffee. Once again, this wasn't me trying to get together with her. I was trying to be polite, and wasn't actually expecting her to take me up on the offer. We sit down on the couch, enjoy our coffee, and have a pretty pleasant talk. Then out of nowhere, and I mean nowhere, she just kisses me. And from there things escalate quicker than I have ever experienced before or after. I have absolutely no idea where this is coming from, and I'm honestly a little confused how this is happening. 45 minutes before, I thought I was just getting a ride home. I literally had no clue she was interested in me, and now I was being attacked by this girl. It was actually so intense I got uncomfortable and tried slowing her down a couple times. She pretty much blew that off, gave me an excuses like "I just like you so much, and this feels so right", and kept going.

So as I am sitting there on my couch, with a half naked woman trying desperately to rip my pants off, wondering if I'm being a victim of sexual assault, when she stops and looks me dead in the eye.

She then says to me, and I quote, "I hope you know, I'm not some sort of slut. I wouldn't do this with someone I wasn't dating."

And that's how she asked me out.

Title: Re: the most bizarre thing your BPD has ever said?
Post by: trappedinlove on August 21, 2014, 04:21:57 AM
Wow, so much weird stuff... .

One of the strangest thing she wrote me after she split me black and giving me the silence treatment for a few weeks was:

"I know I'm not supposed to be talking to you at all, because there a sort of silent agreement that this is the way it should be... .[eh? So silent I didn't hear about it :-/]

But I want to organize a run where I live this weekend and I want to invite our running friends... .You may respond or may not it's ypur choice of course... .but it'd be nice if we can post an (fb) event together... .it simply seems right to me regardless of our relationship at this time"

And silly me, I swallowed the bait and read this as saying it will be nice to do stuff together and went along with the idea. We had a great run and spent the afternoon at her apartment. A common friend whom I told about our relationship going south told after this that it looks to him that she looks like she loves me very much and it's only a matter of time for us to be back... .(so I was validated to not be crazy and delusional). This happened a week after she broke with replacement #2... .

Anyhow back to NC until next invitation to "there is a wine tasting event for Valentine's day in the local winery, it would be great if you could come." And I went. And her son was there with his gf and it all felt like f'ing happy family, hugs and everything... .when I was on my way back (with her son and gf riding along back home) she texts me "It was really fun."

The next day I see on fb pics of her and replacement #1 that she told me about and that she saves room for in her apartment because "a young and sexy riding instructor always comes handy" and that she had a really special relationship with him, she fell for him but she's not sure that he loves her too and he's 17 years younger than her and then, giggling, "so what I'll do, marry him? " and "it is so simple and pure with him. We can have the time of our lives. Have sex all night and then have no contact for weeks and when we meet again everything is cool as if no time passed. I love and admire him for not needing me." "I can't be with people that need anything from in my life right now."

Anyhow she continues with a cryptic post the next day about having to make tough decisions and then on she pretty much wiped me out of her life, with no closure.

When I asked her about a week later "We had such a wonderful day together last week but I feel that you're very distant since then. You don't have to reply but I'd really like to understand why." For which she replied "Frankly, I've no idea what you're talking about"

I was really baffled. Confused by the push pull and recycling and being used emphaticlessly to serve her immature needs and felt betrayed overall for not being honest with. Although I can imagine some of it is BPD. Dissociation and all kinds of fears and complications it just hurts. A lot.