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Title: Its all my fault Post by: ortac77 on August 24, 2014, 10:00:10 AM I am kind of used to this. At some stage my BPD ex partner has got hold of a copy of my will, in effect stolen it. We don't live together but he would have had ample opportunity to find it when visiting.
The betrayal of trust is bad enough, some things are very private but having told me this morning that he had read it and destroyed it, he then claimed I had given it to him. Oh the lies! Then followed a conversation about how if we were married all would be alright and how awful I am for making him have to cope with his own life! How dare I leave money to my family and friends, not that he wants any of it but I have no right to look after other people. Dealing with a child again, he then proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and how I could never understand his feelings (well that is certainly true). He has been in financial trouble again and risks becoming homeless, I helped him by referring him to a debt counselling service but he can't trust them he states as nobody understands how difficult life is and anyway its all the fault of everybody else. He has just been accepted for therapy and doubtless this has disturbed him, but I am tired of it all. I try to be sympathetic but must protect my own sanity so I have not reacted to him directly just needed to share my frustration today from dealing with this behaviour! Title: Re: Its all my fault Post by: Rapt Reader on August 26, 2014, 02:10:18 PM Yikes! He stole your will and destroyed it? Has that caused you any problems? Or is it just annoying and a betrayal? What is the situation today?
Are you actually trying to work out this relationship, reconcile and make it better? Or are you finished with your Ex and this is just one more action that is closing the door to a future with him? He has just been accepted for therapy and doubtless this has disturbed him, but I am tired of it all. I try to be sympathetic but must protect my own sanity so I have not reacted to him directly just needed to share my frustration today from dealing with this behaviour! This is a good thing, right? Are you waiting to see if this changes anything? And if he gets somewhat "better" are you planning on trying to work the relationship out? Title: Re: Its all my fault Post by: formflier on August 27, 2014, 11:27:40 AM I am kind of used to this. At some stage my BPD ex partner has got hold of a copy of my will, in effect stolen it. We don't live together but he would have had ample opportunity to find it when visiting. The betrayal of trust is bad enough, some things are very private but having told me this morning that he had read it and destroyed it, he then claimed I had given it to him. Oh the lies! Then followed a conversation about how if we were married all would be alright and how awful I am for making him have to cope with his own life! How dare I leave money to my family and friends, not that he wants any of it but I have no right to look after other people. Dealing with a child again, he then proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and how I could never understand his feelings (well that is certainly true). He has been in financial trouble again and risks becoming homeless, I helped him by referring him to a debt counselling service but he can't trust them he states as nobody understands how difficult life is and anyway its all the fault of everybody else. He has just been accepted for therapy and doubtless this has disturbed him, but I am tired of it all. I try to be sympathetic but must protect my own sanity so I have not reacted to him directly just needed to share my frustration today from dealing with this behaviour! Great job not reacting to him directly! If you ever do need to discuss this with him... .make sure it is "matter of fact" tone... .and then move along. Vent away here! That's one of the purposes of this site. I'm seeing two issues here... .fixing a will situation... .and a difficult r/s. Correct? Title: Re: Its all my fault Post by: formflier on August 27, 2014, 11:29:11 AM I just read "copy" of will after I made last post. Where is the original? |