BPDFamily.com

I dated a "quiet" borderline who, throughout the relationship and after, accused me of ""overcommunicating."  I'll be honest - I don't overcommunicate.  When she would become silent, disrespectful, or withdrawn for a period of time, I would try to check it out.  My style of communication is very nonthreatening and supportive, wishing to acknowledge and resolve and then move along.  I come from a family where things were unresolved and it created a lot of separation as a result.  When I asked my partner to just air it out, her response was accusatory, "you always overcommunicate" or "this just makes it worse."  In the year and a half we were together, I tried to address things maybe 5 times yet whenever she was in the mode to flee, she would go back to this accusation.   She left me for a rebound and I went into therapy to work through the emotional abuse.  Realizing how this sounds, I continue to hope she'll someday wish to get back together but I need some tools, some understanding of this communication issue.  Has anyone else been with a quiet borderline who resists working through situations constructively?  What methods have worked?  Suggestions or tools?  Thank you

Oh, and one more question.  For those of you who were with quiet high functioning borderlines, did they return or were you just cut out for good?  She's called a few times, randomly so i feel she may be unhappy in her current relationship. Thank you