BPDFamily.com

My W is BPD, no doubt. But she's also been diagnosed with NPD.

She doesn't lose executive function, in fact she functions just fine, outside of relationships (particularly ours). She gets alot done, is very accomplished and does well with getting the children sorted out (physically, not emotionally)

BPD is a shocker with all it's probems, but I'm thinking NPD isn't so bad.

Agree? Disagree?

My opinion-

NPD:  will be higher functioning, and will take care of their own needs much of the time.  Will actually be happy or have hobbies or interests some of the time.  All that = more potential for time to yourself.  Downside - soo incredibly full of themselves, there is NO chance of them ever admitting they are at fault for anything. 

BPD:  Needy.  Take up all your time until you either get painted black or establish good boundaries.  Sad/depressed/anxious most of the time.  More likely to admit they have issues and seek help.

I don't think one is any easier to deal with than the other.  And I have dated both.

I will add, also in my opinion, that a person having both, as I suspect my wife to have, can be a whole other adventure.     They switch between the two or present an ever changing mix.  My wife shows NPD in that she admits faults that affect me yet says I am the one that needs to change.  She loves/needs to do things outside of the home area (a few mile radius).  The BPD comes out in anything related to my mom.  I receive attention from the BPD side but not as often as mom-related items.  I think the NPD makes her better at finding legitimate faults (expanded of course) and using them against me in the most effective manner for herself.  The BPD make it harder for her to find a job while the NPD does not want to fail at finding one.  They team up against her in this situation.

In a conversation, she started with NPD (chastising me, throwing fault on me) in a friendly yet condescending manner then dramatically switched to a very cold look and presence to discuss my mom.

@Moselle:  The therapist (or was it a marriage counselor) diagnosed her as NPD but did not rule on BPD?  Regarding your question of which is worse, I would say the one a non is least equipped to handle is the worst.  If you are a strong person, her having NPD would probably be a non-issue.  For myself, a full BPD would be easier for me to leave.  The NPD would, and still sometimes does, trample over me with a touch of logic.