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Title: Yesterday I flung the wedding rings into an abyss Post by: Ihope2 on October 06, 2014, 06:39:21 AM My divorce from my exBPDh and our short-lived relationship/marriage happened on 20th June this year. He had moved out and disappeared from my life at the end of March this year. The day he left, he pressed his wedding ring into my hands saying that perhaps I wanted to keep it.
Yesterday I found myself in a place called the "Valley of Desolation". It is a canyon with the most phenomenal rock formations and there is a look out point that one can drive to and peer into the depths of the canyon below. Way back in the history of my country, there were settlers who traversed the dry inland plains of my country and when they came upon this canyon, and its great depth and the vista over the endless plains around it, they felt a great sense of desolation and named it as such. I let the wedding rings slip out of my hand and fall to the depths below, hearing them tinkle as they bounced off the rock face on their freefall into the depths below... . And yet, there was the most amazing sense of life in this "desolate" canyon, trees and plants were growing in the crevices on the rock faces, and it was teeming with birdlife and reverberating with birdsong. A symbol to me of the endless cycle of death and rebirth. After despair and suffering, comes hope. Title: Re: Yesterday I flung the wedding rings into an abyss Post by: fromheeltoheal on October 06, 2014, 07:42:39 AM Synonyms for desolation include misery, sadness, unhappiness, despondency, sorrow, depression, grief, and woe; maybe letting those rings fall into that place took all of that with them, to where they're supposed to be, and you remained above it all, with new life teeming. That feels good!
Title: Re: Yesterday I flung the wedding rings into an abyss Post by: Lucky Jim on October 09, 2014, 09:44:15 AM Hey Ihope2,
I think rituals like your ring tossing ceremony are wonderfully healing. After separating from my now-divorced BPDxW, I had an old, worn-out guitar case from a guitar that she had given to me. I decorated the guitar case with phrases expressing the hurt that I was letting go of, then one day placed the case on a huge bonfire at the beach with friends. The conflagration when the guitar case caught fire was amazing and the flames seemed to burn up much of my anger and sadness. I still look back on that bonfire with a sense of gratitude and relief. It helped me to move on. As you note, the "valley of desolation" is teeming with life. Yes, out of suffering comes new growth and grace. Hang in there, Lucky Jim |