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Title: BPD No friends Post by: clydegriffith on October 17, 2014, 12:57:58 PM When i think of it, the BPDx didn't have any real girl friends. It seemed to me like she actually hated other women as she never had anything nice to say and would just make nasty critiques about random women in the street concerning their appearance or what they were wearing. And if someone more attractive than her was in the same room she would stare daggers and find something nasty to say.
She only had a handful of guy friends who i am sure she slept with at one point or another. Is not having any friends typical of a BPD that would fall into the Queen/Siren subtype? Title: Re: BPD No friends Post by: Recooperating on October 17, 2014, 01:08:34 PM My exBPDbf didnt have friends either. He had some male friends but he always lost the friendships. He'd always get into arguments or his friends stabbed him in the back... .None of it was ever his fault. I was always amazed how he used his friends... .He didnt have a car and he would ask for rides EVERY day. His friends drive him around all the time and if they said no, he would get offended! He managed to maintain a friendship with 1 guy for a year. This friend was there for him a lot of times, was there for him through a couple of our break ups. Then one day however he tagged my ex an FB in an article about NPD. His friend thought he was NPD! The friendship ended, although my ex was diagnosed BPD... .
I dont think he has anyone left now but his mom and maybe a replacement... . So no... .Not good at maintaining friendships, which is hard ofcourse when you're BPD, selfcentered as f"ck, lie all the time and manipulate everyone... . Title: Re: BPD No friends Post by: Rifka on October 17, 2014, 01:19:43 PM My exbf had one friend, a female co worker. Their friendship is quite odd in many ways.
His whole idea of what friends are was very different than mine. He bad mouthed me so much to her that he actually told me she didn't like me, but had never spoken to me or met me. I made him introduce us after 5 months together, he had already met at least 50-100 friends & acquaintances of mine. I had no problem with her and was glad that he had somebody who he could turn to beside me. He idolizes her, but she has no idea of who he really is! It's a deep dark secret! If she only knew he would have nobody! She is a no bs straight up woman! Title: Re: BPD No friends Post by: Inside on October 17, 2014, 01:29:48 PM I’m not sure about the specific subtype, which my uBPDxgf seemed to bounce between, but you nailed her behavior regarding other woman! Mine did have one close ‘childhood’ (seemingly co-dependant) lover/ best girl friend, but that was pretty much it. My BP would bounce between groups/ gatherings while practicing the art of ‘being whomever she felt impressed who she was with’ at the time. If it were a woman, she’d attempt to charm her... .
But she was consistently demeaning toward other women, just as you described. She’d put down my ex-wife in hostile ways then get angry when I refused to do the same… She definitely projected her self-hatred toward her own gender. I remember her angrily describing my ‘suspected desire’ for a couple of woman walking across a parking lot …while I was focused on some serious traffic congestion – she insisted I give her ‘my opinion’ of their bodies and clothes… “I’m just trying to get out of here” I responded. …Then it became every woman we’d pass – to the point I began to fear seeing women at all! …she didn’t travel well As for friends, not as ‘we’d’ perceive them. They all seemed like people she used, if on a rotational basis. She was bright, and could definitely fool some of the people all of the time… Then I’d get to hear her cutting criticisms – and, if I ‘agreed’ with her to any extent – she’d feed her negative comments back to them when painting me black - as if I’d said them! Clever? She was nobody’s friend |