BPDFamily.com

To all -

HAD to continue this post (other one reached post limits)

as I believe it was one of the most thoughtful and profound

series of posts I have seen.

To all that joined in ... .and the the OP FormFlyer

Please carry on... .

To all who have not viewed the original thread - please find it on this board and entitled:

Dramatic change is possible!(Stop reacting)

Posted by FormFlier

 https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=235029.0;all

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=234643.0;all

I'll add to it later on.

Thanks for starting it up again.  I have some new episodes for logic man... .just need some time to type them out

Great FormFlier.

Read you posts - we are in a very parallel universe.

I am sincerely hoping that Logic Man ... .and his pursits ... .are a parady... .and not a documentary... .;-)

Night Moves

As I've written in another post ("What can I do to make him stop painting me black?", I stopped reacting altogether to his threats, accusations etc, and his behaviour changed suddenly.

Of course, I can't tell for sure that it's a reaction to my new attitude.

Not reacting is in fact the easiest way for me at this stage, for we can't communicate on anything anyway. I'm getting totally hopeless, and let's admit it, I'm depressed.

A nurse I talk to every month advised me to ask my GP for anti depressants. I'm hanging on, but it's hard. I've no appetite (losing weight), my sleep is poor, I have little joy doing the things I used to enjoy.

Our T (he went one, I went twice + MC once) sent him a mail to direct him to a psychiatrist. He told me it's "urgent", that BPDh may be more Schizotypical than borderline, and needed treatment urgently.

Talking to T a few days ago about all this is my last shot. I just can't deal with all this any longer, I'm so sick of it.

I wish I was writing fiction... .unfortunately... it's a reality based movie... .

However... .that was reality before I ever heard of BPD and found this site

This site focus on skills to us in a r/s with pwBPD traits.  I must say that many of those skills apply to basic relationships.  Or at least that is my opinion right now. 

I was very logic based... .still am really... .but now I have a better handle on my own emotions and feelings.  I also understand now that human relationships are not built on "what you think"... .but they are built on feelings that develop between two people.  It seems incredible to me now that I really didn't think this through and come up with that earlier... .but I just hadn't "thought" about it.  Plus... then I descended into the FOG of the BPD traits in my r/s.

Anyway... especially for guys that are very logical about things... .and that want to be stayers... .I really encourage you to work on getting in touch with your emotions and letting those emotions be a bigger part of the "equation" that you use in your r/s.

For those of you that aren't really "logical"... .just roll your eyes... .and move along please!   *) *)

I think you can be sure that your new behavior in the r/s is playing a big part in his change in behavior.  How does it "feel" to you to have a new attitude in the r/s.


Indyan,

I've felt this way before... .it's good for you to admit these feelings... .so you can work with them. 

Think about the progress you have made... .think about the power you know have in the r/s... now that you understand where the behavior is coming from... and the best way to deal with that behavior.

My hope is that gives you the ability to give it... one more shot... .and then another... .

 

Keep up the good work

Thanks for this FF, and for all the time you take to advise me on my issues. It really helps, believe me.

I do feel that I'm not at the bottom of the hole anymore, rather that I've climbed back up, but I'm just so tired. All this thinking, looking for T, worries and running to find ways to protect the kids and myself, has drained all the energy out of me.

I know that what would give me a little extra energy would be if he went to see the psychiatrist, as advised by T.

Thanks for that.

Also take note your mail box is full. You won't be able to receive any more mail, until emptied a bit.

Working on my emotions, and uBPDw beginning to like it.

She now says she's going to write a book about all of this. I'm in the book as well.

She's also going to go back in "my" history at least 50 years! She doesn't have a history!

I'm NOT sure what the title of the book will be, but based on what has been happening recently she may think "Better the Devil you Know, than the One you Don't" is a good title.

At least my shares are going up. I was %^&*#@, the half breed dog, until just the other day.

And, she's started to talk to me. After three months silent treatment. WOW.

It pays to be positive, emotionally. This CAN go anywhere.

And my new Step by Step Plan, is working too. I'm NOT so sad, anymore.

And starting to see the funny side of this, EVEN if it is MOST SERIOUS.

Don't be afraid to do something "just for you"... .a nice meal... .take a walk... just because... .

The key to this is to keep yourself strong... .

What kind of things have you been validating for her? 

What emotions have you been able to tune into that she is having... .

Hi Nightmoves,

Your PVT message box is full. Cannot send any messages to you!