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I'm having a hard time understanding how they can be so hateful. I can understand knocking the heck out of somebody that is going to hurt you, but doing it to someone (not physically)that's only crime was loving you, I cant fathom. I would have taken a bullet for that women which makes me feel stupid.

There is nothing to feel stupid about. You loved a wounded soul now you know the wound as your own. There is no true love without sacrifice.

Hate is a mask for fear and behind fear is where true love awaits you.

I agree.  I would of taken a bullet for mine too.  Would of sacrificed a lot, and did.  She had huge depression problems so I would never fall asleep until she did first, just to make sure she was okay.

Then she turns so hateful and UNGREATFUL... its so bizarre.

They replace you and think the new person is being nice and kind when really... you were the one who sacrificed everything for them to be happy.

I don't understand it either.  But whatever.

They hate themselves,  when they are treating you like garbage it's because they view themselves as garbage and that's all they know how to do.

Idealisation is them conning themselves and you,  when they get a replacement they are just conning themselves again. Beliving in a fantasy because they can't handle reality.

Best thing is run for the hills and get to a place where you can forgive what happened.  In many ways it's not their fault,  they are helpless and hopeless

Doubly so if they haven't had YEARS of DBT to repair some of the damage to their brains.

The truth is borderlines want the same thing you do, although they have an illness, so the closer they get to it the more triggered they become, and it becomes intolerable, so all of the behaviors show up.  Think how much that must suck for them too, although they're very good at dealing with those feelings, they have lots of practice.

You can know everything about the disorder, but I'm not sure you can ever really understand it - it's so bizarre.

So very true. its hard to wrap your head around this. It is amazing.

I have asked similar questions millions of times. Heck, I have asked my husband similar questions and he just shrugs and looks at me like I am a friggin' weirdo.

I don't think they are capable of love or loyalty or anything of the sort. I know that he rarely takes up for me in any situation. I feel like I could be dying and he wouldn't really care unless it required something of him. I am the female yet our wedding was all about him and his family. That should have been a red flag all of those years ago but I didn't think anything of it because I wasn't really religious so it didn't matter to me if we had to get married in his church to appease him and his family.

In all honesty, I hope I never ever truly understand what makes a person behave that way. I can't wrap my mind around it and am actually glad that I can't. It means that I am not a thoughtless butthole. If I behaved the way my husband has over the years, I couldn't live with myself